Finding Bella
by sassbee
Summary: Where do you go when your husband tells you he's leaving you and your children for his Personal Assistant? The last place you ever wanted to go of course. Home. Bella must face her past and learn to get along with the man she ran from all those years ago. B/E AH/AU Rated M: there will be lemons.
1. Chapter 1

A.N

Hi guys, this is my first fanfic so be a little gentle!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the Twilight Characters.

Prologue

The list of things to do was endless.  
Grocery shopping, standing in line at the post office for twenty minutes to post the birthday present for her dad, home to unpack the groceries, back out to take Hamish the dog to the vets for his yearly check up and shots, pick up Max from kindy, home to bathe, feed and put the children in bed, shower, do hair and make up and be ready to let the baby sitter in at 7 and wait around for her husband to get home. Instead of crawling into bed early after a dinner of fish fingers and peas and try to get more than three hours of uninterrupted sleep, Jacob, her husband had planned to take her out for dinner to celebrate 5 years of marriage.  
Yay. The sarcasm was real.

Bella knew that she should have been more motivated and excited about the prospect of a child free evening with her husband at some posh restaurant in the city, but she knew better.  
Their conversation would be stilted, the food wouldn't be as good as promised and she'd beg Jacob to drive through a takeaway place before they got home so she could eat a cheeseburger.  
Jacob would talk about the office or work or something so boring that Bella would have to bite the inside of her mouth to stop from yawning, and Jacob would look at her with confusion when she mentioned something about her friends, or something funny the children would do.

They just weren't connecting. They were in a rut, she convinced herself. All they needed was a holiday maybe? Or some marriage counselling. She snorted loudly at the idea of her husband showing up to marriage counselling. He'd check his phone sixty times throughout the hour and then blame it all on her anyway. No. Marriage counselling wouldn't work.  
Maybe they needed to be more adventurous? Maybe they just needed to have sex more?  
Bella knew that was her doing. She was tired. So tired there were days she wondered how she managed to get up and out of bed in the mornings. Two kids under five meant that she simply didn't have the option to sleep in, no matter how many times she told the kids that mommy needed to have five minutes more.  
She couldn't even nap when her youngest Violet napped because at 2 years old, she had loudly declared NO NAPS. And that was that. Violet knew what she wanted and naps were firmly on the 'not on your life lady' list.  
Instead, she'd hide away in the pantry and doze while standing up, pretending she was looking for something while the kids tore apart their playroom or watched the same episode of paw patrol again and again.  
She couldn't say how many times she had fallen asleep in her weekly yoga class…it was too many to count.

Bella's job was to be the wife to Jacob Black. CFO of a large tech company. She was expected to wine and dine Jacob's associates and do it with a smile on her face. The house had to be perfect, her clothes designer, her children silent and she was expected to enjoy her boring existence.  
When Violet was just starting to walk, Bella made a passing remark that she'd like to look into doing some kind of degree. Jacob had laughed loudly for a good long minute and then dismissed her. Her job was to look after the children and the house. Like a good little wife.  
She had silently fumed for a long time, but instead of telling him to stick his 1950's ideals, she carried on with her 'job'. Being mommy, going to yoga, learning to cook gourmet meals for her husband's dinner parties, picking up dry-cleaning and trying not to fall asleep in the post office line. This was her life. She loved her children and she loved her husband. This was a phase she told herself. When the children were older, things would be easier.  
Somewhere along the way, she lost herself, but she'd find it again. Someday.

***

"There is someone else."  
"What?" she looked down at her feet quickly, quite expecting to see her guts lying splattered at her feet. They weren't. Just her black Jimmy Choos standing on the plush carpet of their living room. She needed to sit down.  
"I need to sit down." She stumbled a little and backed up into the sofa.  
"I'm sorry but it just happened."  
"It just happened?"  
"Yes. We tried to stop it."  
"You tried to stop it?"  
"We are in love"  
"You're in love?"  
Bella realised she was repeating everything he was saying, but couldn't for the life of her stop the words that were coming out of her mouth.  
"We want to move on with our lives. Move in together. Maybe try to start a family. You should move on too."  
How could one 'move on with their life' when she wasn't aware that she even had one to begin with that warranted moving on in the first place. She didn't even know what that meant.  
And this is where Bella thought that there was a very legitimate chance that she was going to commit a horrible bloody murder. Although thinking about it, it wouldn't be that horrible. It would be almost joyful she thought.  
They hadn't even made it to dinner. Her hair was done, her make up perfect, she'd even squeezed herself into the black dress she knew her husband loved.  
 _What the actual fuck._  
She wore spanx for fucksake.  
"So. Let me get this right. You and your _girlfriend_ of how long?"  
"Two years. Give or take." He looked a bit sheepish.  
POP went a braincell. Bella could actually feel the rage building inside her. It was like hot molten lava. It started in her toes (that was bloody well painted a nice slut red) the rage was bubbling up into her throat.  
She tried heavy breathing to stop the herself ripping her husband's throat out.  
"Right." She bit out. "You and your girlfriend of two years-give or take" she glared daggers at him " want to start your lives together and maybe start a family. That sounds really lovely Jacob. It really does. There are just a few issues I have with this set up though."  
Jacob was looking a little pale. Sweat was beading on his forehead and he was slowly moving backwards as if he had found himself in a lion cage and was about to have his face bitten off.  
"Firstly. You're already married, you asshole. To me. You can't just run off and start a new happy life when you have a wife at home, you pig!" Her fingers were tingling.  
"Secondly, and the most important. You have a family. You have two children who love you very much, or did you forget about them too, when you were boning your girlfriend?" By now she was shrieking and she hated it when she shrieked. "Wait, how long? Oh my god, Were you seeing this woman when I was pregnant with Violet?"  
He had the grace to look ashamed.  
"Oh my god." She whispered. "No, I'm really going to be sick." She held her hand over her mouth and took a deep breath through her nose willing the nausea away.  
"I didn't know you would act this way Bella." Jacob gestured wildly back at her. "I thought you kind of knew. I thought you'd be happy about this"  
"What? Why would you expect anything less? What did you want me to say Jacob?" she rolled her eyes and put her hards on her hips. "Oh sure darling, off you trot with your little trollop, go have babies and live happily ever after. I'll just stay here and take care of the first bunch of children you already have. I could KILL you Jacob. I really could. Who the hell is she anyway? Do I know her?"  
"Victoria."  
"Victoria your PA?" She was going to pass out. She knew it. What a cliche. How embarrassing. Did that still happen? Husband's running off with their personal assistants? It was like a terrible soap opera script that was playing out in their living room. What else had she been assisting him with?  
Don't think about it. She demanded. Don't even think about it.  
Jacob swallowed visibly and then straightened his shoulders. "I think we should have a break for a little while." He was edging himself towards the door now, where Bella noted he had a bag packed ready and waiting for his escape.  
"Jacob, you listen to me right now!" she bellowed. Oh god, now she was bellowing. The neighbours could probably hear this.

"There is no break. You will never step foot in this house again. We are done. DONE you hear me!" She was screaming now. Nothing could stop her. Her hands were now zinging with adrenaline and she felt that she would be sick at any moment.  
"Get out right this minute before I do something you will regret."  
Jacob turned and practically ran to the door, grabbing his getaway bag as he raced by.  
He quietly closed the front door behind him.  
"Coward" she whispered at the door.  
Bella stood in the living room listening to his car start, then reverse down the driveway and then away from the house and away from their marriage.  
She stood there in the silent and now empty house. Her stomach rolled violently.  
She only just made it to the bathroom, where she lost the fish finger she'd stolen off her son's plate.

Several hours after Jacob had skulked off, Bella sat in bed watching the telly and eating the last few spoons of the chocolate chunk ice cream she had been hiding in an empty frozen pea bag at the back of the freezer.  
How the hell did she get here?  
Having just turned 30 with two children under the age of 5, a mortgage that was far too large, no career, not even a part time job to tide her over and a husband that had just that evening announced he was leaving her AND their children… It was all too much. She knew she should be in a corner sobbing, or at the very least, setting her husband's clothes on fire in their front garden for the neighbours to see.  
Sadly, and unfortunately luckily for her soon to be ex husband, the neighbourhood committee would have a fit over the fiery display and instead of feeling vengeance, Bella would be left with a strongly worded letter from Linda, the committee president and neighbourhood tyrant. And crying…Why wasn't she crying?  
This is certainly something you should cry about.  
That's what women did when their husbands told them they were being dumped for some woman called Victoria. She was thin and tall too with amazing fire engine red hair. The complete opposite to short, brown-headed chubby side of curvy Bella. People looked at Victoria and thought "sex goddess" or at least "lock up your husbands ladies, this woman is a husband stealing slutbag." Bella looked like she belonged in a primary school library.  
She searched her emotions. She was angry. That was okay. She guessed she should be angry. But more than anything, she was embarrassed. Their babysitter had listened to the entire exchange and waited for Bella to stop throwing up before she patted her kindly on the back and asked if she was still needed.  
Bella shook her head while she wiped her face from vomit and runny mascara and watched as Kimberly had raced out of the house and presumably to tell the rest of the neighbourhood what had happened.  
Linda and the rest of the neighbourhood committee would have a field day.  
She should call her mom. Her mom would know what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Six months. She'd made it on her own for six months and she couldn't do it anymore.

When Jacob had moved into a lovely new house two streets away from them and had told Bella, through his solicitor that they would need to divide their assets and put the house on the market, she had quietly agreed. She didn't want the argument and she didn't want any gossip created where it looked like she was money grabbing. The market wasn't amazing and she knew she would have time to find somewhere else.  
When he told her that as they were now separated, she would need to find her own car as hers was a lease through the business; perks of being a CFO or something stupid.

Bella had gone out and purchased a second hand Rav4 with her savings and sent the car back without a complaint. She'd even vacuumed it out and made sure there were no dead lunch boxes under seats.  
She put up with whispers from the other moms at Rhyme time or at kindergarten pick up, she'd been un-invited to a coffee meet up with some friends who she had made through Jacob, and she'd had her credit card declined at the grocery store when she was trying to buy shampoo and juice.

Apparently, Jacob was separating his finances and didn't think to tell her. Understandable yes, but awfully embarrassing. When she told her sister Alice what had happened she spent three hours on the phone to her, convincing her not to get into the car and drive million hours just to punch Jacob's lights out.  
He had seen his children a handful of times in the last six months, each time they would come back confused and upset, Max asked who Victoria was and was she going to be their new mummy. Right after that, Jacob had emailed her and asked if he could take the dog.  
That was the first time Bella had cried. What did he want her dog for?  
He could take the house, she hated it anyway, he could take the car, whatever, he could take the money, but he could not take her babies or her dog.  
After a phone call to Jacob where she threatened to drive over there and cut his balls off; like the wimp he was he suggested that it was probably best for all of them if she moved back to her hometown with the children. He would pay for the move and start paying child support.  
He tried to sell it as a good thing for her. Her parents and siblings were there, the children would enjoy living at the beach, it was cheaper living there and she'd have support of friends and family around her. Cheaper living he said too.  
She knew this was all true, but she also knew Jacob enough that there was an ulterior motive to the suggestion.  
Perhaps having an ex-wife around town wasn't the kind of thing Jacob wanted tarnishing his carefully constructed image.  
Either way, she agreed.

Packing the house had been difficult, as much as she hated the house, it was the only place Max and Violet had ever lived. It was the place where she had bought her babies home to, their first christmases, their first birthday parties, their first steps, first words… it was harder than she anticipated and at three am as she packed up the last box, she wished desperately that she had asked her mom or her sister to come and help.  
They had been in the car for nine hours.  
Nine hours of the dog whining, Max asking when they were going to get to Nanny's and Violet practicing her screaming.  
Another twenty minutes and they'd make it to Pepper's Bay, her home town.  
"Mommy…" Max had stopped the 'when are we gunna get there' song and was looking at her seriously.  
"Yes Max?" Bella couldn't keep the smile off her face. He was ridiculously cute with brown curly hair that was untameable.  
"Will Daddy come and live with us again one day?"  
Not likely, she thought unkindly.  
"No honey, Daddy lives with Victoria now." She glanced into the backseat. Max's shoulders were slumped and his normally happy face was scrunched up with sadness. "I'm sorry that makes you sad."  
"Does it make you sad?"  
"Well…" Yeah, it did, but not for the reasons people thought. She wasn't sad that Jacob had ended their marriage. She was sad that he had ended it the way he did.

She was sad that he cheated on her and made her into a laughing stock, but their children didn't need to know any of that. She wanted to protect them as best as she could from this. It was never her intention to be a single parent. She thought she was going to be married forever.  
"Sometimes it makes me sad. But you know what?"  
"What?"  
"I'm looking forward to living near Nanny and Poppy and Uncle Emmett and Auntie Alice. We can go to the beach every day, and collect shells and make sandcastles whenever we want."  
"There was a beach at our old house." Max was right. There was a beach, but it was a tourist trap full of people fighting for a little bit of sand.  
"Yea, but once you see this beach, you'll see that it's the best beach you've ever seen."  
"Alright" he sounded dubious. For a four and a half year old, Max was very much so middle aged.  
"Nanny and Poppy are very excited that they get to see you whenever they want, instead of just birthdays and christmas. That's cool right?"  
"Yeah, I guess." Max said sadly.  
"NANNY" Violet screamed.  
"That's right Vi. Nanny and Poppy are very excited they get to have cuddles from you."  
"I need wee." Violet bellowed.  
"Stop yelling" Max yelled back.  
Hamish started barking.  
"Just 15 minutes and we'll be there." Bella promised.  
She looked at herself in the rearview mirror. Her dark brown hair was looking dry and brittle. Her skin was paler than normal, even the smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks were pale. The dark circles under her eyes made her look unwell.  
15 more minutes and she could get out of this car.

Nothing had changed. Nothing. Bella tramped down the panic that was rising. She could do this. Being away for ten years she was used to fast food chains, 24/hr grocery shops if she needed something, good coffee shops and clothes shops that weren't target or kmart. Not that they had a kmart. Peppers Bay wasn't that big. She could adapt back again. She'd just have to be prepared. Perhaps she could use this opportunity to practice healthy eating. Maybe give up coffee… No. That was a terrible idea. She had two children under five. No one gave up coffee with a four year old and a two year old who refused to sleep past six in the morning.  
The nearest shopping mall was a good half an hour drive away and if you wanted something really special, you'd have to travel another two and a half hours away.  
Driving down the main street (called Main Street) she saw her moms best friend leaving the pharmacy. When she saw who it was in the car, Sue waved frantically. Pulling up at the lights, Bella watched as Sue waddled herself over to the car quickly. Bella glanced behind her to make sure there wasn't anyone behind her.  
"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes. Bella Swan. Still as pretty as the day you left." Sue's round face was beaming with joy. In the ten years that she had been gone, Sue hadn't aged a day. She still had mousy brown hair that she wore in a loose bun at the back of her head. Her bright coral lipstick was the same one she'd worn since Bella could remember, her clothes bright and cheerful. Bella couldn't remember a time when the older woman didn't have a smile on her face.  
"It's so good to see you Sue. How are you?"  
"Oh nothing new to report my darling girl. I heard about that shit head of an ex husband."  
Bella choked back a laugh. She had forgotten that Sue had a mouth like a sailor.  
"Yeah, I suppose everyone knows?" she bit her lip waiting for the bad news.  
"Afraid so, pet. But everyone is pleased as punch you're back. We've missed you. Your mom is over the moon. I don't think she's stopped smiling since you told her you were coming home."  
Bella smiled. "Yeah, we're pretty excited to see Nanny." She looked in the back seat and laughed at violet.  
"NANNY" she pumped her chubby little arms in the air.  
Max rolled his little eyes. "Mommy, she's peed her pants."  
Sue laughed and patted the car door. "Alright, You better go! I'll pop over for a cup of tea tomorrow morning and have a good catch up. Tell your mom I'll bring my lemon drizzle cake."  
Bella waved, looked over the steering wheel to make sure there wasn't anyone coming in the other direction and drove up to the red traffic light. This was new, they didn't have a traffic light when she lived here.  
At least it was one new thing, she thought.  
She drove down Main Street, turned left onto First Avenue and drove down to the beachfront.  
"Look kids, it's the beach."  
"Woah…" Max managed to make it sound sarcastic. Could a four year old understand sarcasm?  
"BEACH" screamed violet.

Sixteen houses down, on a large corner block, was Bella's family home.  
The large white weatherboard home had just obviously had a fresh coat of paint. Her moms garden was in full bloom which made Bella want to laugh. When she was a little girl, her mom spent hours thousands of dollars trying to create the perfect garden. With three kids who loved picking the pretty flowers from every bush they could find, her mother despaired of ever having a nice garden. It looked like she finally got her wish.  
Pulling into the driveway, she watched her mom and her dad race down the path towards the car.  
Violet, seeing her Nanny waving like a loon, threw her hands up in the air and let out an ear splintering squeal. "NANNY NANNY NANNY!"  
"Goodness sake Violet." Max said crossly. Bella tried very hard not to laugh at her cross son.  
Taking off her seatbelt and jumping out the car, she groaned at the way her muscles bunched and then stretched at the shock of finally standing.  
"Bells! Let me see my little girl." Her dad held his arms open and gratefully, Bella fell into his embrace. He smelt of wood, his aftershave and home. "It's so good to have you home sweetheart."  
"Hi daddy." She whispered feeling awfully close to tears.  
"Now now, none of that right now." He pulled away and took a good hard look at her. She knew she looked like crap. She'd driven for nine and a half hours straight, stopping only for pee breaks and to let the dog out for a quick run. She hadn't sleep until four that morning and rolled out of bed when the removalists arrived on her doorstep at six. Tired was an understatement.  
"Good trip?" he asked with raised eyebrows.  
"Yeah, traffic was good. Violet has found her shouty voice though." She winced as Violet caught sight of her poppy and held her arms out towards him. "POPPY POPPY POPPY"  
"She got that from your mother." Her dad winked and coughed as her mom punched him lightly in the stomach as she handed Violet over.  
"She needs a nappy change mom." Bella said as her dad took violet into his arms and covered her face with kisses.  
Turning, Bella watched as her mom picked up Max into her arms and gave him a squeeze. Her heart felt lighter watching Max lay his head on her mums shoulder and breathe a sigh of happiness.  
As scary as this was, moving back home at 30, with what felt like her tail between her legs, she felt deep down, this was the right decision.  
I should never have left. She thought to herself.  
As if her mom could read her mind she shook her head.  
"Why don't you go and have a walk on the beach. Clear your head." She gave Bella a look. "We can unpack you and settle the kids, can't we Poppy?"  
Her dad nodded enthusiastically. "We've got it all under control."  
Violet hit her father in the head and screamed "UNNACORNROLL"

Bella took her shoes off and left them by the gate. Thankfully she'd thrown on a pair of denim shorts and a white t-shirt when she got out of bed first thing that morning. Her trousers wouldn't get wet if she decided she wanted to put her feet in the ocean.  
Crossing the road, she took the pathway down to the sand and headed left. Away from the houses she walked until she found her spot.  
It was far away from everyone, this part of the beach was unpatrolled, not even the beach runners or the dog walkers ventured this far. It was, the perfect spot. Protected by the wind by two mounds, the view of the ocean here was the most beautiful. The sky seemed bluer, the sun brighter, the sand softer and the ocean more dangerous. It was perfect.  
Plonking herself down where she had spent hours upon hours of her youth she picked up a handful of sand and watched it run through her fingers making a small mound by her feet. In the last 10 years, she'd been back home a few times, but only for a weekend trip and always with Jacob. He was clearly uncomfortable in her family home and never really knew how to act around her family. She used to put it down to him being shy, or intimidated by her loud family, but now, looking at it, he was rude and probably silently judging them. What a jerk.  
Never once did she bring her husband here, to her most favourite spot. It wasn't just her spot after all. She shared it with the one who she thought at one point when she was 18, her future.

The first time Bella met Edward Cullen was when she was three. Her brother Emmett had invited Edward over to play and Bella was immediately smitten. She followed the two of them around every day until her heart was shattered and she fled their small town.  
Edward was the most handsome of men she'd ever set eyes on. Tall, with strong shoulders and muscles on his arms before the other boys, he was every girls day dream and luckily for Bella, he was Em's best friend, which meant every afternoon Edward Cullen was in her house, eating her food, drinking out of the same glasses as she had, sitting next to her at the dinner table at Sunday dinner and helping her with her maths homework. Every smile, innocent touch, conversation that he included her in was a treasure that Bella kept safe, locked away in her heart.

Their first kiss was on her sixteenth birthday. She'd convinced her mom to let her buy this tiny little dress she'd found in a catalogue. It was short, black and had tiny little pink flowers all over it. With spaghetti straps and a neckline that plunged as low as acceptable, she felt the most grown up she'd ever been. Her sister had lent her a pair of black strappy sandals with a heel and Bella had practiced walking all afternoon so she wouldn't fall flat on her face. She was having a big party at the scout hall that her mom had hired out for the evening. They had spent the day before putting up decorations and making the place look like every teenage girl's dream party set up. Her dad had a friend who was going to come and be the DJ and Emmett and Edward had agreed to work the door in case anyone tried to get in who didn't have an invitation.  
As Bella was walking into the scout hall, she was relieved to see all of her friends and year group had already arrived.  
She'd spent half the morning in the bathroom feeling sick with nerves that no one was going to show up. Edward had knocked on the door, told her he needed a pee and to open up. When she cracked the door open, he pushed past her and sat on the edge of the bath tub and held her arm, keeping her in the bathroom with him. His blue t-shirt pulled across his chest nicely. Bella decided that was her favourite colour. Until he wore a different shirt of course.  
"Listen here Isabella." He said in his deep voice. "Stop freaking out. Everyone is going to show up. Everyone. I've even heard that St Pauls have gotten wind on the party and are planning on crashing." Bella's eyes widened. "Oh my god."  
"Totally cool right?" He raised his eyebrow at her and Bella blushed.  
"So cool." She bit her lip and fidgeted with her hands. Any time she was alone with Edward she felt like a million butterflies had taken up in her stomach. Where his hands were on her shoulders, she could feel electricity zinging up and down and landing directly in her stomach.  
"So, go on. Go make yourself look even prettier than you are and stop stressing. I'd never let anything bad happen okay?" He pulled her tightly against him, gave her a squeeze and then sent her on her way.  
Bella had practically floated out of the bathroom and into her bedroom, where she had instantly picked up her phone and text her best friend Angela to analyse her conversation word for word. She could still smell his body spray on her t-shirt.

"I told you everyone was going to show up." Said a deep voice in her ear.  
Bella turned and smiled up at Edward. He was wearing a black shirt and a pair of jeans, his dirty converse on his feet. "So you did. Thank you."  
He looked her up and down, noticing her dress and the high heels. _Please say I look nice, please say I look nice_ she begged in her mind.  
"You look…" he looked around and then pulled her down the corridor towards the back entrance. "You look so beautiful Bella."  
"Thanks." She had blushed bright red.  
"I wanted to give you your present now if thats okay?" Bella could tell that he was nervous which was bizarre to think. Edward never had any reason to be nervous about anything.  
"Okay?"  
"I saw this the other day when I was in the city and I had to get it for you." He pulled out a small velvet box and held it out. "Sorry I didn't wrap it. I forgot." He blushed. He actually blushed. Lee was going to have a heart attack, she thought.  
Slowly, Bella held her hand out and took the box. Opening it with her breath held she felt her hands shaking.  
Nestled on a small black velvet pillow was a delicate silver chain with a heart on the end. It was the prettiest thing she had ever seen.  
"Oh Edward" she said softly.  
"I think you're the most beautiful girl in the world Bella." He whispered.  
"I love you." She blurted out.  
Realising what she said, she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. Boys like Edward Cullen don't want to hear things like that.  
"I mean, I…"  
Before she could get her words out, to take it back and make up a lie, Edward had pulled her closer and was kissing her. With tongues. Like in the movies. It was amazing. And wet. But it was amazing and she never wanted it to stop.  
After that night, every chance they got, Bella and Edward were together. But secretly. It killed her that no one but Angela knew what was going on. Edward was worried about how Emmett would take it. Apparently there was a bro code that said best friends don't hook up with the other best friends little sister.  
For five years they hid their relationship behind Emmetts back. Eventually her mom found out when she found her prescription for the pill in her bedroom when she was putting some laundry away and soon after, her sister and then her dad, when he caught them sucking face in the laundry room, hiding from Emmett.

Every night, they met at their spot on the beach. Sometimes they'd do homework together, Edward was in his first years at University. He was going to be a doctor and the work was hard. Some nights they'd fight, some nights they would make love under the stars. One night she told him she really did love him and he said he really did love her too.  
She started to plan. They were going to tell Emmett and when Edward had to move for his placements, she would go with him. They'd get married and have babies and be happy forever.  
That was the plan.  
Until he broke her heart.  
Shattered it.  
And she ran. Ran from their town, ran from memories of Edward and into the arms of Jacob. Another bad choice.


	3. Chapter 3

It was getting chilly and Bella wished she'd remembered to bring something warm with her.  
Not that she would know where anything was. Everything she owned was in a box. 30 years old and moving back in with mom and dad. Tragic.  
She'd moved her son away from the only friends he'd known, her daughter away from a really great play group and the only house they had ever known. She should have been firmer with Jacob. Fought harder. Dug her heels in.  
Knowing she was going to be surrounded by her family and close friends was a welcome relief, but at the same time, Bella didn't want to rely on anyone. She'd been alone for so long, she had forgotten what it was like to rely on anyone.  
As her tears fell, she watched the surf rage against itself, pushing and pulling the tide in and out.  
"I hate you." She whispered.  
"I hate what you've done to me. I hate that I have to start again from the bottom and nothing has really changed for you."  
She imagined Jacob standing in front of her.  
His dark hair that he spent too long styling every morning, his dark eyes that she once thought were his best feature, now turned her stomach. She couldn't see his attractiveness anymore. She used to think he was the second most handsome man she'd ever known. Now, he was ugly.  
Instead of getting angry, an overwhelming feeling of sadness blanketed her.  
"Why weren't we enough?" she asked out loud.  
"Do you know how embarrassing it is to have to go to the doctor and ask him to check me for all of the sexually transmitted diseases? Do you know what that does to someone? Why didn't you chose us?"  
She hiccuped.  
"You- You were supposed to love me." She cried.  
Suddenly, she felt arms around her. His familiar scent hit her first. Then the feel of his hard chest under her cheek and finally, the gentle rumble of his voice.  
Edward.  
For a second, she just let herself relax. His warmth and comfort was exactly what she needed. Until she remembered why she was in this position in the first place. Pushing him away she bent over and picked up a handful of sand and threw it at him.  
"What the hell do you think you're doing Edward?"  
"Bell.." He said with a sigh. God, he was so beautiful. The years had been so kind to him. Laughter lines around his green eyes, a light stubble on his perfect jaw, even his lips were perfect still. Even his unruly hair was attractive. How utterly unfair. There she was, wearing a t-shirt with a pee stain on it probably, stubbly legs because she couldn't find the razor the night before and tears (and probably snot) streaming down her face. She looked like shit and she didn't want to see him.  
"This is my spot, Edward. You're no longer invited." She crossed her arms and turned back to the ocean.  
She heard his low chuckle and felt him move closer to her.  
"You can't tell me where I'm allowed to go on a public beach Bells."  
She turned and glared at him. "I fucking well can. You know this has always been my spot."  
"No, this was _our_ spot. We can share it."  
"No. I don't want to share anything with you, Edward. We've got nothing to share, you hear me? Nothing. Go away."  
"You and I both know that's a lie." He shot back.  
Feeling oddly satisfied that she could still get him riled up she pushed. "Don't make jokes Edward. Anything that we shared is long ago forgotten."  
"Bullshit."  
"Bullshit yourself. Fuck off."  
"You can't get rid of me that easily." He said smugly.  
She felt her chin wobble. No. Ten years and he was still impossible to leave behind.  
"You're the last person I want to be around right now. The absolute last person. You're just as bad as he is. No. You're worse. LEAVE." She roared.  
"No." He visibly dug his heels into the sand.  
Why? Why was he doing this? He didn't want her all those years ago. He made that quite clear. He shattered her and he let her go. Now of all times, when she was falling to pieces he pops back up with open arms? _Fuck no._  
Collapsing to her knees she cried. He went to comfort her again, his arms outstretched to embrace her but Bella knew she couldn't possibly deal with that right now.  
"I swear to you Edward Cullen, if you touch me, I will scratch your god damn eyes out."  
His eyes widened and he held his arms up in surrender. "I won't touch you." He sat down next to her, making an effort to give her a little space. He was still too close. She felt him under her skin. She could smell him. It was killing her.  
"I just want to be alone." She sniffled.  
"But you're always alone Bells."  
How did he know that? It was true. She was. Even when she was surrounded by friends she felt alone.  
"I have my children. I'm not alone." She shot him a venomous look and was surprised to see hurt flash across his face.  
"Em tells me about them. Showed me some pictures. They're beautiful."  
She wanted to thank him and to tell him how much she loved them, tell him how funny Max was. How he was serious and wicked smart. She wanted to tell him that Violet was the most precious baby ever. How she woke up with a smile on her face and didn't stop talking at all. Ever. Until she was fast asleep. And even then she'd sleep talk. She wanted to tell him all of these things because for a very long time he was the most important person in her life. Until he wasn't. Until she wasn't the most important person in his life.  
The rage was still inside her and she didn't want her children near any of that. Even if it was in her mind or their conversation.  
"My children are of no concern to you."  
"Fuck sake" he whispered under his breath. He looked down at the sand and sighed deeply.  
Bella turned to him. He was wearing a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His blue chinos were rolled up to his ankles. He must be visiting his parents. She thought. "I've had to leave everything. For the second time in my life. The first time was because of you. You don't get to learn about my children, you don't get to be my friend, you don't get to comfort me or give me sympathy or even judge me for being a stupid idiot and chasing yet another fucking cheater." Her eyes flashed. "Did you come here to inflict more pain on me?" she yelled.  
His head snapped up. His eyes went from the beautiful green to almost black with anger.  
"I came because I knew that you'd be here hurting."  
"Perfect timing." She quipped.  
"What is that supposed to mean?" he threw his arms in the air in frustration.  
"You're ten years too late Edward."  
She climbed to her feet and brushed the sand off her knees. "Do not follow me. If you do, I'll tell Emmett." She threatened.  
She watched as his eyes widened in shock that she'd threaten his friendship with Emmett.  
"Wow."  
She gave a bitter laugh. "Coward." She whispered. She knew he heard when his eyes narrowed and his mouth opened to say something.  
Before he could reply, she spun on her heels and raced off in the direction of her parent's house.  
Coming back here was a mistake. She shouldn't have come here.

Her sister was waiting for her when she stormed up the driveway muttering under her breath about stupid good looking morons who didn't know when to back off.  
"You saw him then?" Alice was sitting on the front step, her short black hair blowing softly in the breeze.  
"Who?" Bella said crossly and sat down next to her sister. She started brushing sand off her feet and legs.  
"You know who I'm talking about. I take it he found you?" her older sister gave her that look of 'don't even try to lie to me'.  
Bella sighed heavily. "Yeah. He found me. Stupid idiot."  
"And…" her sister raised her eyebrows at her.  
"And nothing. I told him to leave me alone. I don't want anything to do with him, Alice."  
This time her sister rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You're going to need to learn to get along with him. This town is too small for the two of you not talking."  
Bella felt irritated. "I don't need to learn anything. He'll be gone just as soon as he was here. Hopefully, it will be Christmas the next time he's back."  
Her sister snorted. "Yeah, I don't think so."  
Bella stood up abruptly. "I do. He'll be gone, back to where ever he is, doing his thing. I don't want to talk about him." Eyeing her sister, sensing she was going to bring up the other dickhead male in her life, she held her hand up. "And I don't want to talk about Jacob Fucking Black."  
"You need to let it out, honey."  
Bella bristled. "Alice, if I started, I don't think I'd ever stop. Just leave it. I'm too tired to have a counselling session with you right now."  
Her sister searched her eyes, looking for something. What, Bella had no idea.  
"Alright. For today." She stood up and put her arm around Bella's shoulders. "It's so good to see you though." She squeezed her shoulder and guided her up the stairs and into the house.

Bella felt her shoulders relax when she felt her sister drop the conversation. Alice always knew when she was pushing too far and for that, Bella was grateful.

The smell of home comforted her almost immediately. This was the house Bella had grown up in. Nothing had changed in 30 years, apart from new paint every ten years or so and new sofas. Even the dining table was the same one that Bella had sat at when she was four years old and scribbled her name with a permanent black marker. It was deemed Bella's spot from then on and Bella knew, secretly, her mother was sentimental about the graffiti.  
Everyone was in the kitchen, helping prepare dinner. Her dad was pulling roast potatoes out of the oven and her mom was stirring the gravy.  
"Roast Chicken. My baby's favourite." Her mom winked at Bella and stirred harder.  
"CHICKEN" screamed Violet from the floor by the kitchen table.  
Bella crouched down and held her arms out to Violet, who scrambled over and launched herself into Bella's arms. Picking her up, she held her closely, breathing in the soft scent of baby shampoo, strawberries and…chocolate? "mom, did you give the kids chocolate?"  
Her mom refused to turn around from the stove and ignored her.  
"mom…" she said warningly. Sugar was like crack for Violet. She'd never sleep if she had any kind of sugar in the afternoon.  
"Oh, whatever. I'm their Nanny. It's my right as a grandmother to give the children chocolate whenever I want." She said crossly.  
"Jeez, mom, How many times have I told you?" Alice said crossly, bending down and wiping her daughter Lucy's mouth with a tissue.  
"Stop it, mummy. That's gross." Lucy pulled her head away just as Alice licked the tissue and tried to wipe spit over her face.  
"That's totally gross babe." Alice's husband Jasper agreed.  
She shot him a look. "You're king of gross."  
He looked proud. "I know. You married me remember." He said with a wide grin.  
Bella chuckled. Jasper and Alice had been married for ten years, and they were perfect for each other which made Bella stupidly happy. It reminded her that there was such a thing as soul mates and love and an authentic marriage.  
"Emmett said he'll be over tomorrow afternoon, he's got to finish up with some work tonight and I think he's hanging out with Edward." Her dad said as he transferred the roast vegetables into a serving dish.  
At the mention of Edward, everyone went quiet.  
"Why is everyone stopped speaking?" asked Max, who had just at that moment walked into the room wearing a clean pair of Pyjamas.  
Bella glared at them all. "Stop."  
"STOP" screamed Violet.  
Bella winced and rubbed her ear "Thank you, Violet. I didn't need my ear drum at all."  
Her daughter gave her a toothy grin and patted her on the cheek. "Love you, Mama."  
"Isn't that the sweetest ever?" Alice swooned. "Why can't you be little again?" she asked Lucy, who rolled her eyes. "I am little. I'm five."  
"It's not little enough."  
"Dinner is ready! Everyone up to the table." Bella's mom started carrying food over to the table, while Alice and Bella got the kids settled first before sitting down and waiting for everyone to join them at the table.  
The family routine was that when the parents cooked, Alice and Bella were on clean up duty. Normally Emmett got out of doing anything as he'd race off with some errand to do, or homework, or as an adult, a "work thing" It irritated both of his sisters. His mother on the other hand never noticed, or if she did, turned the other cheek.  
As everyone dug into their meal, Bella sat back and listened to the happy chatter. Her parents were starting to wind down their careers, her mother Renee was stepping down to two days a week at the Library and her Dad Charlie, was getting ready to retire from the police force as Chief.

Bella had to hold back a giggle when Charlie told everyone he was planning on fishing every day of his retirement, much to Renee's displeasure. She had renovation plans and trips overseas she wanted to take. Not stay at home while Charlie Swan spent his days on his ass fishing.

Alice was trying to convince Lucy to eat one pea. "One pea sweetheart. That's all I'm asking for. If you eat the pea, you can have some ice cream…" she bribed. Lucy rolled her eyes at her mom.  
"Nanny will give me some anyway." She huffed.  
Renee grinned widely. "Everyone gets ice cream at Nanny's."  
Bella bit her lip to stop herself from laughing. It was nice to see that she wasn't the only one who would beg, bribe and threaten her children to eat vegetables.  
By the end of dinner, Violet had demanded out of her high chair and was dozing on her Poppy's chest. Max was yawning so wide they could see his tonsils and Bella thought she was going to burst into tears at any moment with exhaustion. Noticing this, her mother got up and pulled Bella to her feet. "Come on darling. You need your bed."  
Bella nodded pathetically. She did need her bed. Badly.  
Kissing Alice and Jasper goodbye and giving her dad a hug good night, she followed her mom down the hall, carrying a sleeping Violet as Max trudged along next to her rubbing his eyes.  
"I've got Max in Emmett's old room and I've set the portable crib up in your room. Is that okay?" her mom whispered.  
"Perfect. Here, take Violet, I'll tuck Max in." She handed violet over and took Max's hand.  
"You're so lucky that you get to sleep in Uncle Em's room tonight."  
"Does he have any toys?" Max asked as he looked around the room with big eyes.  
Bella scanned the room looking for something that Max could play with quietly in the morning. Spotting a box of Em's old legos she pointed. "There. You can play with the lego. I'm sure there is other stuff in here we can find."  
Max yawned again and nodded his head tiredly.  
"Up you hop." She helped him into bed and covered him with a soft blue quilt. "I'm in the room next to you, I'll keep my door open if you need anything okay? You know where the toilet is?"  
"Yes, mommy." He looked up at her with sleepy eyes.  
"I love you so much, Maxy."  
"I love you too mommy." Max wrapped his little arms around Bella's neck and hugged her tightly.  
Kissing him on the side of his head, she helped him make himself comfortable and then turned on the night light by his bed.  
"Night Night Max."

She tiptoed out of the room and into her old bedroom.  
Nothing had changed there either. Her bed was the same double she was given on her 17th birthday, the same posters on the wall, the same pictures stuck up around her mirror, the same bedspread for crying out loud.  
Her mom had put the crib next to the bed, so Bella could check on Violet throughout the night, not that Bella needed to. Violet was more than capable of climbing out of the damn thing if she wanted to and she certainly wasn't shy in voicing what she wanted.  
"We'll have a chat in the morning." Her mom gave her classic mom look.  
Bella nodded knowing that there was nothing she could do, or say that would get her out of this.  
"Sure."  
"I know this isn't what you wanted and I know that you're hurting really bad right now, but I am so glad you're here with us right now." Her mom hugged her warmly before leaving quietly, pulling the door slightly ajar in case Max needed his mom in the middle of the night.  
Before she could turn the light out, Hamish pushed his way into the bedroom. He sniffed around for a few minutes, making himself familiar with the room and then jumped up on the bed.  
Bella put her hands on her hips, but couldn't keep the small smile off her face. "We're making a habit of this Ham." He wagged his tail as if agreeing.  
Bella went through the bag she'd packed that was on the end of the bed, looking for some pj's. There were several pairs of shorts, t-shirts, underwear, toiletries, a few toys and a pair of Violets shoes, but no pj's.  
Sighing heavily, Bella went to the chest of drawers and opened the top drawer hoping there was something there.  
Under a few tank tops that wouldn't fit her right arm anymore, she spied the t-shirt she used to sleep in before she ran to the city.  
It used to be Edward's, she'd worn it home one night after they had a secret meeting at their spot and had gotten soaked playing in the surf. She'd refused to give it back.  
Every night she'd worn that stupid Super Man t-shirt to bed, dreaming of the day she'd get to wake up in his arms.  
"You were a fucking idiot." She whispered to herself as she threw the shirt on. She was surprised it was still too big for her, after all, she wasn't 19 anymore. The stress of the move and the divorce was affecting her appetite. "Guess there is one good thing to come from all this mess." She sighed to herself.


	4. Chapter 4

Edward knew that going to their spot was a bad idea, he knew it when he walked from his front door, climbed in his car and drove the five minutes down the road to the spot he'd parked almost once a day for his entire life. He could have walked and normally, he would have, but he didn't want to risk missing her when someone would inevitability stop him in the street and want to say hello and then talk his ear off for the next hour. Not that he minded when people did this. He quite liked it, which was a weird thing for Edward to admit. When he was younger he couldn't stand their small town and their small town gossip and busybody-ness.  
But today, Edward had been on a mission and not even a good chat about Mrs Jones's ageing cat or her arthritic knees was going to get in his way.  
The last time he'd set eyes on Bella was when she was heavily pregnant with her youngest.  
He'd been in the city catching up with a friend for a weekend and he saw her waddling into a store as he left his friend browsing in a book store. At first he thought he was imagining it. As if his very conscious was conjuring her up. He knew she was in the city, but it was crazy to think that they would cross paths in such a large place. But there she was, still the petite dark haired woman he'd fallen in love with as a kid. Only she wasn't the same at all. Her round pregnant stomach looked almost comical on her small frame. She was all bump. Edward looked around to see if he could spot her husband, and was irrationally irritated to see that she was alone. What happened if she fell? Or needed someone to carry bags, or god forbid she went into labour?  
Instead of approaching her, he followed her into the store and hid behind a display of perfume watching her as she bought some cosmetics. He heard her chatting away to the sales lady, telling her she was getting her hospital bag ready and wanted some new moisturisers to take with her.  
He wondered what she would say if he approached her. Knowing Bella, probably a few swear words and a kick in the groin. He would deserve it, he knew that for a fact. It still didn't stop him from wanting to reach out though.  
"Can I help you sir?" asked a young woman in a white lab coat. Why did they wear that to sell makeup?  
"Um, no, sorry." He backed up, ready to bolt when Bella turned as if she could sense him.  
Instead of leaving, he stood there, frozen in one spot, wide-eyed, feeling like he was going to have a heart attack.  
He noticed she was doing the same. Her long hair was swept up in a loose ponytail, her face fresh of makeup, just the way he remembered her. Beautiful. She was always beautiful.  
The urge to step forward, grab her and refuse to let her go was so stupidly overwhelming that he found himself pushing his heels deep into his shoes as if to ground himself in the one spot.  
"What- what are you doing here?" she asked. As if her words broke the spell, she grabbed her shopping bag off the counter and took two steps towards him.  
Putting his hands in his pockets to stop himself from touching her, he gestured his head in the direction of the store doors. "Simon lives here now. I'm just visiting for the weekend."  
She nodded her head in understanding. "Emmett said he'd moved down here."  
"Did he? Did he give you Simon's number so you could give him a call? He'd love to see you…" That wasn't a lie. Everyone loved Bella. It was hard not to.  
"Yeah, he did…" she trailed off looking a little uncomfortable. "I just…you know." She bit her lip, it was her tell that she wanted to say something but was being polite.  
"Yeah, I know." He looked down at his feet for a beat and then back up. She had moved a little closer. If he reached out, he could have touched her. "So. Are you busy? Do you want to get a drink or something?"  
Instantly he regretted asking. He knew she'd say no, she had no reason to want to. He understood.  
She was shaking her head before he could take the invitation back. "I can't."  
Won't was more like it.  
"Maybe next time." She lied.  
"Sure." He lied back.  
They stood in an awkward silence until a woman pushing a pram broke their spell by pushing herself between them. He watched Bella smile at the young child in the pram as she stepped back to make way.  
"I better be going…Jacob will be wondering where I am." She said with a forced smile.  
Ohhh that hurt. It hit him right in the gut. She could have kicked him in the nuts and it wouldn't have hurt as bad.  
"Of course." He smiled weakly back.  
"It was…" she trailed off looking for the right word. Painful? Awkward? Sad? He felt all of those emotions as she fought to find the right word. "Goodbye Edward."  
"Bye Bells"  
He watched her leave. From behind she didn't look pregnant at all. She looked the same as the day she left town. Sad.

Watching her racing away down the beach away from him, as fast as her legs could take her, he had to admire her way of attacking and running.  
A younger Bella would have stayed, dragging them into a louder more explosive argument until they were so wound up they'd be fucking in the sand until one of them gave up, normally him. He always gave in to Bella.  
Her heartache was like a knife in his chest. He could feel the pain rolling off her, which was why he tried to hug her when he first saw her. How could he just continue to stand there and listen to her beg the universe for answers why her husband didn't choose her. Edward knew from past experience, chasing after something else, choosing anything else over Bella was a mistake. One that he'd been regretting ever since he was a stupid 22 year old.  
Edward was of the opinion that Jacob was a dick. It wasn't just that he'd broken Bella's heart, he'd always hated him, even if he'd only met him once. At their wedding of all places.  
The invitation had sent him on a week long bender. He wanted to get in his car and go and get her. Drag her back to his place and forbid her from going through with it. How could she marry someone else? How could she invite him? He knew she did it on purpose as a big "fuck you" to him. Everyone knew it. Well, except Emmett. He was baffled why Edward had spent a week drinking himself stupid and refused to tell him what had upset him so much. After the hundredth "I don't want to talk about it" comment, Edward sobered up and shoved that pain deep down. If Bella was moving on, so was he.  
He called Tanya, a girl from their home town who had always flirted and invited her to be his date. Bella wanted to send a fuck you message to him? He'd send one right back.  
When he watched her walk down the isle, towards that smug faced fucker, he thought he was going to be sick. When the priest asked if anyone knew of any reason why this couple should not get married, the only thing stopping him from standing up was Tanya digging her sharp nails into his thigh to keep him in place.  
He tried to recite every bone in the body during their vows, not wanting to listen to her give herself to someone else. Someone that wasn't him. It was fucked up. And it was all his fault.

The reception was just as awful. Everyone smiling and dancing and gushing over how beautiful Bella looked. It was true, she was beautiful, but she wasn't Bella. She was a shinier, polished version of Bella and Edward hated it.  
Right before the first dance, Bella found him at the bar, sculling back a whisky. "You're drunk." She hissed through a fake smile, in case anyone was watching.  
"Yeah, and you're married to someone else now, so…" he held his finger up for another whisky.  
"Why are you doing this Edward? What do you want from me?" her eyes shone with unshed tears. It had been years since they'd seen each other, but it felt like only days.  
He instantly wanted to soothe her, wipe away the tears and make everything better. He couldn't though. Half of the guests were watching them with curiosity. And she wasn't his to soothe anymore.  
"Do you love him? Are you head over heals in love with him?" he tossed back the second drink and slammed the glass down. He raised his eyebrows in a challenge. "Do you love him as much as you love me?" he said with a cocky smirk.  
"What? I-" she stumbled on her words. "You can't say these things to me. You've no right." She drew herself up taller. "I've moved on."  
"Sure you have, sweetheart. Just like I have." He winked at her and spun around looking for Tanya. Finding her sitting at their table chatting to one of their old school friends, he made his way over to her.  
"There you are Edward, I thought you were only going to be a minute." Tanya simpered. Turning his head, he saw that Bella was where he left her. She narrowed her eyes in a challenge.  
A surge of red hot anger went through him, so he did the second most stupidest thing he'd done in his life. He lent down, grabbed Tanya's face with his hands and kissed her. She responded immediately, opening her mouth and tried to maul his face off. She tasted like red wine and cigarettes. His stomach churned. He pulled back and made direct eye contact with Bella.  
It was awful. Edward knew he'd done the wrong thing when instead of seeing anger in Bella, he saw heartbreak. Heartbreak, longing and knowing her so well, there would be a little bit of jealousy thrown in there too. She turned on her heel and made a dash for the balcony. Edward pushed away from Tanya and raced after her.  
He found her on the balcony in the corner crying her eyes out. Deep wracking sobs that shook her entire body.  
"I'm sorry." He said pleadingly.  
"I know." She replied sadly. "This is ridiculous." She whispered. "I'm crying because the man that I've always loved just kissed another woman." She looked up at him with such sad eyes. "On my wedding day. I'm a fucking joke." She hiccuped and sniffed.  
Edward pulled out the pocket square in his suit jacket and handed it to her so she could wipe her face.  
"No, you're just… doing what you thought was right." He shrugged his shoulders.  
"I have to let you go Edward."  
"No." He denied. "We can, I don't know, leave. We can just go." Desperation welled up in him. This wasn't going to be it. He'd made a mistake. He'd done the wrong thing, he knew it. But surely he deserved a second chance? There had been enough time. They were older, wiser, more ready.  
"No. I can't." She shook her head, her bangs fell into her eyes. She brushed them back and took a deep breath. "I need to let you go. I need to move on." As if she was agreeing with her own decision, she nodded her head. "You have to let me go too."  
Edward pulled her roughly into his arms. "I don't know how." He whispered.  
"Me neither." She cried back. He felt her tears through his shirt. "But we have to try because this is killing me." She wrapped her arms around him and held on tightly.  
If this was the last time he was allowed to hold her, he wasn't going to let go first.  
They stood outside, in the warm summer evening, listening to the party going on inside. He could hear Jacob laughing loudly with his mates, why he wasn't wondering where his new wife was, baffled him.  
He wanted to tell her how much he loved her and needed her and wanted her. He wanted to tell her that he would always love her and that he always had done. Even when he was 16 and she was 14 and she was secretly writing 'Bella loves Edward' on her notebooks at school. He kept every love note she gave to him, every ticket to every movie they went to see, every receipt from every dinner like a fucking teenage girl, he kept mementos of every date they had ever been on. He was hers in every way.  
As he was about to open his mouth to tell her, a soft "ahem" came from the balcony doors.  
"Sweetheart, it's time." Charlie had shut the door behind him, stopping anyone else from seeing them outside. He looked sad.  
"Your mother wants you to cut the cake."  
Bella was shaking, her fists clutching onto his suit jacket. It would have been so easy to hold her to him and just walk out. But that wasn't what Bella wanted. She wanted him to let go.  
So he did.  
"Come on baby. You need to let go now. We can do it together." He whispered in her ear.  
He let go at the same time she did.  
Before she could say anything else, Edward nodded his head at Charlie. "Thank you."  
Her dad just nodded his head.  
Not wanting to go back into the reception, Edward took the stairs into the botanic gardens and made his way as fast as he could to his car.  
His dad was waiting for him holding his hands out for the car keys. Realising that both of their fathers knew what was going on was a relief.  
"You alright?" his dad asked.  
"No." He replied. "No, I'm not."

***

When he could no longer see her, he picked himself up and brushed the sand from his trousers.  
He was meant to meet Emmett at his house for a beer and a catch up about some work he wanted done at the Clinic now he had taken over after his dad had died last year. The place hadn't been changed since the 1970's and it was time for a new look. Today was one of those days when Edward wished desperately that his dad was still alive. Cancer had taken him extremely quickly. Diagnosed with pancreatic cancer one month, gone the next. His mother was still in shock.  
The whole town was really.

Edward had been in Seattle, trying to settle himself there. He was working in a good clinic with a variety of patients, he'd just purchased a little unit in the city, not far from his work and he'd made a few friends, dated occasionally, but couldn't settle with anyone. He compared everyone to Bella and no one ever came close. He was happy. Well, as happy as he could be, he guessed; when he got the phone call from his dad.  
He packed everything he owned that afternoon and came home.  
As a doctor himself, His dad knew what he was facing. Edward had the opportunity of being on the other side of the table, so to speak. Instead of being the one telling patients and family bad news, he was the family and his dad was the patient. It was a horrible way to go. Especially for someone so healthy before.  
Somewhere in all of the mourning and sadness of losing his dad, he'd fallen back in love with Pepper's Bay.  
His dad left his medical practice to Edward in his will making the move back home easier than he anticipated. At first, he was worried the town wouldn't be happy with anyone else but his father, but in their eyes as long as it was a Dr Cullen treating them, they didn't seem to mind that it was the junior and not the senior.  
He wondered if Bella knew he had moved back. Emmett surely would have told her?

Edward found Emmett sitting on his couch drinking a beer when he got home.  
"Make yourself at home why don't you," Edward said with an eye roll.  
"Whatever. The door was open." Another thing that Edward loved about moving home. The only crime the town ever had was when people drove through the red light, on protest of the stupid thing. "I got you one too. Where were you? I drove past the clinic and couldn't see your car."  
Ahh, the one thing about Pepper's Bay he didn't like. Everyone knew everyone and it was very easy to get caught doing the wrong thing.  
"You stalking me now Emmett?" Edward took a few long strides into his kitchen and yanked the fridge door open and grabbed a beer for himself. "I had to drop a prescription into a patient, that's all." He lied. Bella wasn't back in town for more than 24 hours and he was lying already. He twisted the bottle cap off and threw it at Emmett before taking a long drink.  
"So, Bella arrived." He slumped himself on the couch next to will and lent his head back. He was tired.  
"I knew she was coming back today. Ran into your mom on my run yesterday. She seems pretty excited." That was an understatement. Renee was practically vibrating with energy yesterday. He doubted she'd slept in anticipation for their return.  
"Fucking tell me about it. It's good she's home." Emmett took a swig of beer. "Taking everything in me not to go and fuck that dick up. You know he was cheating on her for over two years?" his face was like stone. "Asshole was fucking some other woman while my baby sister was pregnant and thinking her life was perfect. Who does that shit?" he looked at Edward as if he had the answers.  
"I don't know man."  
"How could anyone do that to Bella? Of all people."  
"Well, at least it's over right? She here for good you think?" he took another swig trying to look natural while he fished for information.  
"Yeah, she'll be sucked back in here. The kids will love living here. She's got support and shit here."  
Edward nodded. "Good. Hey, you think she'll be looking for work?"  
Emmett shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, probably. She's a single mom now. Kids are expensive."  
"So I hear."  
"You going to offer her a job? Isn't Becky going on maternity leave soon?" He was right. His receptionist was massively pregnant and had been worrying over who would replace her for the last few weeks. Edward had been meaning to put an add in the paper, but he had been putting it off, not wanting to interview anyone or go through training with anyone new.  
"Yeah, I should have advertised ages ago. She's ready to go any day now."  
Emmett sat forward and slapped his knee. "What about Bella?"  
"She could do that. Before she married that fuck face she was an office manager or something."  
"Okay…"  
"Well, she could work for you."  
"Yeah, but- I"  
Emmett was nodding his head. "She could. She's smart and great with people and she used to help your dad out when we were younger didn't she?"  
"Yeah, but that was only filing or something."  
"And? She knows how to use a computer dude. She'd be awesome at it. What's your problem?"  
"I don't have a problem…" But Bella would if she knew she would be working with him.  
"Well, it's agreed then. Come with me tomorrow morning for breakfast at the parent's house." Emmett drained the rest of his beer. "And we can give her the good news."  
"Uhh, sure." Edward drained the rest of his drink. This was not going to go well.

The next morning Emmett was waiting on his doorstep as Edward walked up his drive with his surfboard.  
"Good surf?"  
Edward shrugged. "It was okay." Really, he wouldn't have noticed if it was or not. He spent the entire time sitting on his surf board watching the horizon trying to think of a way to make things right with Bella. So far, he had come up with only one option and leaving town really wasn't an option for him anymore. "I'll just jump in the shower and wash the salt off me. Be a couple of minutes."  
Emmett shrugged. "Got anything to eat?"  
Edward rolled his eyes. "We're going to breakfast in a minute. Can't you wait?"  
Emmett patted his stomach. "I'm a growing boy. I need food."  
"You're 32," Edward said with exasperation.  
"And your point being?" Emmett headed into the kitchen and started rooting around the fridge. "You've only got healthy shit in here. What the fuck."  
"Yes, well. Have a yoghurt."  
Emmett sighed exaggeratedly. "I hate healthy food."  
"Well, eat at your own place. Or wait until you're at your mom's and eat them out of house and home, instead of mine."  
Edward hurried down the hall and into the bathroom, pulling off his wetsuit while he waited for the shower water to warm.  
It took him a couple of minutes to wash the sand and salt off and rinse the shampoo out of his hair, and then he was drying off in his bedroom looking for something to wear.  
Settling for some shorts and a t-shirt as the clinic was closed for the day, he shoved his feet into his converse and jogged out into the living room.  
Emmett was sitting on the couch with a mixing bowl full of cornflakes. He'd spilt milk down his shirt and was mopping it up with one of Edward's cushions.  
"What the fuck?"  
"What? I said I was hungry."  
"I'm going to worm you."  
Emmett grinned and shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever. You've been threatening me with that for a long time. I don't believe you."  
Edward shook his head at his best friend. "Come on dickhead. You can raid your mother's fridge now."  
Emmett chewed his spoonful and put the bowl down on the coffee table.

They took separate cars, Emmett was driving over to his girlfriend's house after and Edward planned on driving to the clinic to do some paperwork for a couple of hours and then going to have dinner with his mom.  
He was nervous about how Bella would react seeing him in her parent's house again, and with how they left it yesterday, she was likely to kick him in the balls when she saw him.

Pulling up to the house Edward took note of the Toyota parked under the tree where Bella always parked. It was a step down from the BMW she used to drive around he thought.

Not wanting to stall any longer, Edward hopped out of the car and took the porch stairs two at a time, letting himself in behind Emmett.  
"Mom, I'm starving, what's to eat?" Bellowed Emmett as he walked into the house.  
"Bacon and Eggs."  
"That's what I'm talking about!" Emmett rushed into the kitchen and took a seat at the breakfast bar.  
"Hey, Renee" Edward greeted Emmett's mom.  
"Hey yourself sweetheart. How are you? How's your mom?" As she chattered, she was busy piling a plate sky high with food for her eldest son. Edward smiled warmly. Renee was like a second mother to him, he spent more time with the Swan family than his own when he was younger than he did his own family. "I'm good. Busy, but that's also a good thing. Mom's doing okay. A little lonely I think."  
"I'll pop over for a coffee later this afternoon then." After Carlisle had died, Renee and Esme had grown even closer with the two of them spending long afternoons walking the beach and mourning the loss of Carlisle.  
"She'd love that."  
"Good. Take a seat. Can I get you anything?"  
"Coffee?"  
"Coming right up." Renee turned and started pulling mugs out of the top cupboard and switching the kettle on.  
"Where is everyone?" Emmett asked as he bit into a piece of bacon.  
"Dad's taken the kids over to the beach for a swim. Violet was awake at 6 this morning. That child has no volume control."  
"I know right. It's awesome." Emmett said enthusiastically.


	5. Chapter 5

Bella couldn't remember the last time she was allowed to stay in bed past 8. Even when she was with Jacob he insisted that she get up with the children. Not once did he get up and give her the option of a sleep in. Even on Mother's Day she was up and cooking for a crowd as Jacob's parents would show up for brunch. One year Bella had suggested they go out instead of having it at home, but everyone said it was so much easier having it at their house. Easier for them maybe. They weren't cooking and wrangling children while her husband sat on his phone "replying to emails".

Violet had woken up with a smile on her face and a very loud wish to go to the beach. Immediately. Before Bella could summon the energy to get up and try and get her child to lower her decibels, Charlie had snuck in and swept Violet up out of bed and into his arms. Before she could protest, he turned, winked and shut the door.  
Parent's were awesome.  
Checking the time, she was shocked to see that it was nine thirty. She felt wickedly decadent still lounging around in bed at this hour.  
Hearing voices in the kitchen, she got up to pee, her bladder nowhere near as good as it once was, and brushed her teeth.  
She still looked tired, even though she had slept for 12 hours. At least she looked better than she did yesterday. Yesterday she looked like road kill.  
Hearing her brother's loud chucking coming from the kitchen, she guessed he had arrived to hang out with her for the morning.  
Not bothering to get changed, the t-shirt was like a dress on her, she raced out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.  
Before she could launch herself at her brother, she noticed another tall built male sitting at the breakfast bar.  
She'd know that messy head of hair anywhere.  
Edward.  
As she tried to back up into the hallway, Edward turned and caught her. His eyes going from her face, down to her t-shirt, then her legs, back up to the t-shirt and back to her face.  
Bella swallowed hard as she saw Edward's eyes darken. He had recognised the shirt. Of course, he would. It was his favourite t-shirt. They had many arguments over that stupid fucking t-shirt.  
"Morning little sister." Emmett called.  
"Two seconds." She held her finger up and spun around, racing into the hallway.  
"Oh my God." She groaned as she flung her bedroom door open and flung herself on her bed. Why did he have to be here?  
Groaning loudly, she pushed herself up off the bed and went hunting for something to wear. Settling on a clean pair of denim shorts and a blue and white baseball t-shirt, she changed quickly before going back into the bathroom to find her toiletry bag. Of course she couldn't find any real make up, that must be in a box somewhere due to arrive later today by the moving company, but she did find a tube of mascara and some moisturiser. "This is going to have to do." She told herself as examined her face for the second time that morning. She still looked tired. But this time, she looked tired with mascara on. She rolled her eyes and poked her tongue out at herself.  
It didn't matter what she looked like. She had no one to impress.

When she walked back into the kitchen, Edward was gone. Refusing to feel disappointed that he had left, she put her arm around her brother and tugged at his hair. "You need a haircut."  
"Thanks. You okay?" he looked her in the eyes, studying her.  
"I'm okay. Tired, but I think I've been tired since Max was born." She grinned at her brother. "Have you seen my stinkers yet?"  
She sat in the chair that Edward had been in and grabbed the coffee that was in front of her.  
"This mine?" she picked it up and took a sip before anyone could reply.  
"No. It's mine." Said a deep voice behind her.  
Crap thought Bella. The universe hated her. "I thought you had gone."  
"No, just had to call mom and ask her something." Edward stalked up to where they were sitting and took his coffee out of her hands. "Mine." Noticing her scowl, his lips turned up slightly. "I'll make you one."  
"Thanks." She muttered.  
"So, come on, Princess, tell me what's really going on?" Emmett swivelled his chair to face hers.  
"You already know everything." She complained. Emmett was going to go mental when he found out how Jacob had been treating her and the children since the separation.  
"No, I know what you've filtered." For once, her brother wasn't playing the Joker. His green eyes, the same as hers narrowed. "Spill."  
She looked at Edward out of the corner of her eye. He was busying himself with her coffee and she knew that he wasn't going to leave. Great.  
"Where is mom?" she craned her neck around looking for her mother…and a distraction from the conversation.  
"Gone to help dad out with your kids. Violet drank seawater." He said with a grimace.  
"At least she's not eating sand. When she was a baby she used to shovel it in like it was some delicacy. Her shit would be grainy for days."  
"What the fuck Bells." Emmett looked at her with horror. "Is that even safe?" he looked at Edward for an answer.  
Edward nodded. "Well, it's not advisable, but it won't kill her." He handed Bella her coffee.  
She sipped and held back a smile. After ten years of being apart, he still knew how to make her coffee. "Thank you."  
"Bells." Emmett warned. He wasn't going to give her a break.  
"Fine" she sighed and ran her finger around the rim of the coffee cup. "You know that Jacob told me on our anniversary that he was having an affair."  
"I do," Emmett said shortly. He'd crossed his arms and was doing is scary big brother look.  
"And you know that he'd been sleeping with her for at least two years." She glanced nervously at Edward, not really wanting him to know all the dirty details. "His Personal Assistant. They fell in love over the yearly reports or something fucking ridiculous." She said sourly.  
"He moved out, I stayed in the house, but I couldn't afford the upkeep. We have six more months to go until we can file for divorce. They want to start a family, get married, the whole nine yards. So, at least it's not going to be a long drawn out process."  
"So, what about finances?" Emmett got straight to the point.  
"Well, I have none." She nervously sipped her coffee.  
Emmett's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"  
"I mean Emmett, I have exactly $89 in my bank account right now. I have $10,000 in savings. I had more, but the car took a huge chunk of it."  
"What new car? What happened to the beemer?" Emmett's voice was rising.  
"Well, Jacob took the car back."  
"He took the car back?" Emmett repeated incredulously.  
"Yes."  
"Why ever the fuck for?" he grit out.  
"Because we aren't together anymore? He said he couldn't keep paying for something when we aren't together anymore."  
"That's a load of fucking shit." He slammed his knife and fork down.  
"Yeah, well, whatever. I bought the RAV 4 and it's a good car for me. And it's mine. No one can take it away from me."  
She snuck a look at Edward. He was leaning against the stove clenching his jaw.  
"Seriously, I prefer it. It's easier to get the kids and the dog out, I can fit more things into the back and I chose it. It's mine." She crossed her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. "So, we've separated our finances and we're selling the house. I get most of the sale, but I think it's more of a buy off. He knows that I could get way more if I played the game."  
"You will play the game, Bella. You WILL take that fuck face for every dollar he has." Emmett's face was red with anger.  
"Oh stop it. No I won't. Do you think I want him in my life anymore than I have to? It's bad enough that I'm going to have to share Christmas's, Birthday's and our children's weddings for the rest of my life. I don't want to sit across from him in some stuffy lawyers office demanding money. I don't want anything from him, except for him to maybe go away."  
"She's right, Emmett." Edward piped up.  
"No, she's not." He said to Edward. Then he spun back to Bella and pointed at her. "You should never have married that asshole."  
Oh, that hurt. She stood up and pushed the stool in. "You know what, As much as I hate him right now for what he did and what he's doing, I won't regret my children." She glared at her brother.  
His face paled and he opened and shut his mouth like a goldfish, speechless.  
"I'm doing this my way, Emmett. Mine. I haven't had that opportunity to do that in my entire adult life." She looked at Edward. His cheeks heated and he looked down at his shoes.  
Good.  
"I'm going to walk the dog."

She left her brother and Edward in the kitchen and went outside to find her dog.  
Hamish was lying on the front porch, watching the road, waiting for Max and Violet to get home.  
"You want to go for a walk?"  
Immediately he jumped to his feet and started dancing around her feet, letting out little yips and barks.  
"Thought you would. Hold still." Kneeling, she gave him a kiss on his furry head and clipped the leash to his collar. "Ready?" she asked.  
Hamish launched himself off the steps, dragging Bella behind him. If she hadn't have been prepared for his excitement, she would have fallen flat on her face.  
Just as she opened the gate, Edward ran up behind her and put his hand out, stopping her from leaving.  
"I wanted to talk to you."  
"We have nothing to talk about Edward," Bella said with a sigh.  
"Just, stop. There is a job going at the Doctors office." He stood there waiting for her reaction. Not understanding why he was telling her this information she shrugged her shoulders.  
"And?"  
He rolled his eyes. "If you want the job, it's yours. It hasn't been advertised yet."  
"Who's the new doctor?" Bella had loved Carlisle. She had spent many summer holidays doing his filing. They would talk about everything from school, her studies, what she wanted to be when she grew up. Some of her fondest memories were in that doctor's office with Edward's dad.  
Edward looked a little uncomfortable. "Uhh, just some guy."  
"Okay…and how do you know about the job?"  
"I was left the clinic when dad passed." He looked so sad mentioning his dad, Bella reached out and held his hand.  
"I was so sorry to hear about your dad. He was a wonderful man and I miss him very much." She said gently.  
He squeezed her hand. "He loved you." He let go of her hand and stepped back.  
Clearing his throat, he checked his watch. "You'd be on the reception, so you'd do the appointments, answering the phone, filing and basic admin stuff."  
She could do all of that. A little flare of hope sparked inside her. She could earn money, save up for a place of her own with the kids, have some independence… It sounded too good to be true. "What's the catch?"  
Edward raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, the money isn't all that amazing. But it's better than nothing."  
She nodded. Anything would be better than nothing. The chances of finding a job in Pepper's Bay was slim. Most of the people who lived in the town worked over in the bigger towns a little drive away. Bella didn't want to spend her day sitting in the car, when she could be spending the time with her children. "'I'll have a think about it. I'd need to see what I could do with the kids."  
Edward nodded. "Fair enough. Call me and let me know."  
"I don't have your number."  
He held out his iPhone. Call your number and you'll have it."  
She took it, seeing his screen saver was of him and his dad before he had died. They looked like they were in his parent's backyard at a BBQ. They still had the cubby house.

She dialled her number, let it ring a few times and then hung up. She handed the phone back to him. "Thank you."  
He lifted a shoulder. "S'okay. I'll talk to you later."  
"Say hi to your mom for me." She walked through the gate as he held it open for her.  
"You can do it yourself, Bella. She'd love to see you."  
"I will. But for now, give her my love."  
"Sure." He turned and walked up to his car. He was still driving the same car he'd saved up for when he was younger. It thundered and rumbled as he turned the car on. Winding the window down, he reversed a bit and then drove forward so he was alongside her.  
"Time has passed Bella, but nothing much has changed." He winked, put the car into gear, and sped off.  
She couldn't help the stupid smile on her face.

Bella had found her parents, the kids and her brother on the beach. Violet was completely naked. Max was sensibly wearing his board shorts, swimming shirt and hat. Bella knew he would have insisted on wearing the correct attire for the beach.  
Both kids were attempting to build a huge sandcastle with the help of their nanny and poppy. Emmett was running back and forth from the water to the sandcastle with a bucket of water.  
Bella sat herself down next to her dad and started filling a bucket of sand. "Thanks for this morning. I can't tell you the last time I had a sleep in." She wrinkled her nose. "Actually, I can. The day before Max was born." She laughed.  
Her dad chuckled along with her. "Once Violet hits her teens, you'll be able to have a sleep in."  
Bella mentally calculated how long that would be. "Twelve years seems such a long way a way."  
"It does, but I can promise you, it will go so fast. One day you'll be looking after your two year old daughter, playing on the beach, trying to get her to wear a damn hat." He eyed Violet's hat that had been thrown off at some point that morning. "And you'll blink." He turned back to her. "Your daughter will be a parent herself. I can promise you one thing though, you'll never stop worrying about them."  
Bella felt her eyes well up.  
Charlie cleared his throat.  
"Love you Dad." She lent her head on her dad's wide shoulder.  
"Love you too kiddo." He kissed the top of her head. "I've got something I want to show you. Want to come with me for a quick drive?"  
Bella nodded and got to her feet. "mom, do you want me to take the kids?"  
Renee looked up and shook her head. "Don't you dare! We haven't finished building this castle." She exchanged a look with Charlie and winked. "Have fun you two."  
"BYE MUMMMEEE" Violet bellowed.  
Max ran over and gave her a hug. "Bye, mom." She kissed the top of his head. "Good boy for wearing your hat." Max's chest puffed with the praise.  
Together they walked across the road and jumped into her dad's car. Hamish ran up and begged to hop in too.  
Charlie opened the back door of his twin cab and whistled to Hamish to jump in. He immediately went to stand on the centre console to look out the windscreen. His drool landing on Bella's shoulder.  
"Gross Ham. Sit back." She tried to push her stupid dog back, but he stood firm. Her dad chuckled. "Leave him be. He just wants to know where we're going."  
He pulled out of the driveway and started driving in the opposite direction of town. "That makes two of us dad. Where are you talking me?"  
Her dad was quiet for a bit, they drove for a couple of minutes, before pulling up to an old house. This part of town was older than the other parts. The houses were large, and mostly unkempt. A lot of them were empty, either holiday rentals, or houses that were deceased estates. Small town living was great, if you had the work and Pepper's Bay was lucky it wasn't a dying town. It helped they were closer to the bigger towns and cities, but it still had it's fairshare of hardship. These houses were evidence.  
"I wanted to show you this house." Her dad nodded his head towards a big old white weatherboard house.  
Bella unbuckled her seatbelt and jumped out, holding the door open for Hamish to race out after her.  
The house looked like it was going to fall apart.  
"Why the hell did you buy this house? It looks like a good storm could knock it down."  
Her dad motioned for her to follow him. "Nah, she's got good bones."  
Bella had to admit, if her dad said it had good bones, it had good bones. Charlie knew a lot of things and of everyone Bella knew, she trusted her dad the most.  
"Okay, so, what are you going to do with it? Flip it?"  
"I had some ideas. Do you want to see inside?"  
Bella nodded, suddenly curious about what it looked like inside.  
They stepped through a lot of weeds, to get to the front veranda. The yard would need a lot of work too before he could sell it, she thought.  
"The stairs are surprisingly okay, I was sure we'd have to replace them, but look" her dad toed the steps "Solid. And no white ants which is a plus."  
Bella nodded her head.  
They walked up the stairs and onto the veranda. She turned and looked out at the view realising that her beach spot wasn't very far from where they were. She hoped that whoever moved in here wouldn't venture too much further.  
"The beach view is pretty amazing." Her dad noted while leaning on the ballistae.  
"It is. You know, if we were closer to the city this land would cost millions."  
"I do. That's why we live here." He chuckled.  
"Can we look inside?" Bella moved to the front door and jiggled the handle.  
"Here" her dad handed her a bunch of keys. "It's the large silver one."  
She riffled through the keys until she found the right one and pushed the key into the keyhole. With a little jiggle, the lock clicked and the door swung open.  
The smell of old mothballs hit her first. Then the peeling wallpaper, the disgusting shagpile carpeting and the dark wood wall panels that lined one of the walls.  
"Oh."  
Her dad chuckled. "Your mom said exactly the same thing." He pointed towards the back of the house. "Through there is the kitchen."  
She gingerly walked through what she assumed to be the dining room and into the kitchen. It was a state. Old cabinets hanging off their hinges, a stove that looked like it had been made in the 1900's and the sink had something disgusting in it.  
"Don't look at what is there. Look at what it could be." Her dad walked into the middle of the room.  
Bella tried to imagine what it could be. A new kitchen with floor to ceiling cabinets would look lovely. Obviously new appliances and a new sink. Rip up the gross lino and make the kitchen door bigger. Maybe a wall of glass so you could see the kids playing in the back yard.  
"I can see it." She nodded.  
A large family room was next to the kitchen, that with a good scrub, several coats of paint and new floors, it would be lovely.  
"This room could be great. With a lot of work though." She said with a smile at her dad.  
"Good. Let me show you the rest" her dad said with excitement.  
She followed after him, checking out the disgusting old laundry that she thought would be better off demoing the entire room, the hallway with the dreadful panelling, a bathroom with avocado green tiles and a maroon bath tub that made Bella feel nauseous and the master bedroom that had the ugliest wallpaper she had ever seen in her life.  
The other bedrooms were just as bad, one had carpet stapled to the walls. For what reason, Bella couldn't fathom. The previous owners had a dreadful taste in interior decoration.  
Finally, they made it back to the front of the house, the dining room to their left and the living room to their right.  
This room would be perfect Bella thought. The beach could be seen from the front windows. Bella imagined on a warm summer's day opening those huge windows and letting the sea breeze waft through the house. It would be divine.  
There was a fireplace that Bella didn't want to know what had made it's home in and a wall of bookshelves that were crumbling and falling to pieces.  
With the dark wood panelling and heavy carpet, the house felt stuffy and dark. It felt sad. Like the house had been forgotten.  
"This has fantastic potential dad."  
"I thought so." He grinned and put his hands on his hips.  
"So when do you start?"  
"Well, that's the thing. I can't." Bella panicked. Oh god, he'd made a bad investment. Or was he sick? Her dad was full of endless energy.  
"Why?" even she could hear the panic in her voice.  
"Calm down." He hugged her shoulder. "I'm so busy it's ridiculous. While your mom is retiring at the end of the month, I'm wrapping up with work too. I've got a lot of loose ends to tie off."  
"Okay? So just leave the house for a bit. Do it when you've retired." She shrugged her shoulders, not understanding why he didn't come up with that solution in the first place.  
"Because sweetheart, I want to slow down. I want to take your mom on a holiday. I want to fish with the boys and I want to spend time with my grandkids."  
Her dad was amazing. He'd worked so many long hours when they were kids, some months, he'd be the only police officer in town. Still, even with how busy he was, Charlie always made sure he spent one on one time with Emmett, Alice and Bella and always did it with a smile on his face. If her dad wanted to slow down he was entitled to it.  
"That sounds great dad. But why did you show me this place? Surely you should be trying to sell it?"  
Her dad kicked a coke can that was by his feet.  
"We want to give this place to you." He mumbled.  
Bella felt her mouth drop.  
"Now, I know what you're going to say, but I want you to hear me out. We helped out your siblings when they brought their houses, so it's fair. We're giving you the house, but you will have to do the work."  
Panic. Sheer panic was what Bella was feeling. "Dad, I don't know the first thing about renovating. I couldn't even tell you the difference between a flat head and a phillips head screwdriver."  
Her dad smiled. "I'll still help. So will your brother. Your mom and I, we know why you left home." He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "You were hurting and you needed to leave. I get it. Your mom got it too. But listen, that boy was hurting too."

Bella wanted to deny it, but she knew that Edward had hurt just as much as she had. He had to.

"You two will sort your shit out." Charlie cleared his throat uncomfortably. This wasn't in his realm of parenting. He was the go to guy if his kids cars broke down, or he needed to fix something, or teach them how to fish or shoot or drive. Matters of the heart was a Renee thing.  
Bella opened her mouth to protest but was cut off by her dad shaking his head. "No, listen. I'm not saying you two will have a happily ever after. I don't know if that is possible after everything. But when you left Edward, you left us too and that was really hard."  
Bella felt so guilty. "Dad"  
"I know, it's okay. You are an adult and you're allowed to make your own decisions. But if this house helps with your decision to stay, well, I can tell you, you'd make an old man very happy." He cleared his throat and pulled her in for a hug.  
"I know you're not supposed to have favourites, but you're my baby girl." He squeezed her tightly, the way she hugged her own children.  
"Okay." It came out muffled as her face was squished between her dad's chest and his bicep.  
"Okay?" he let her go and grinned widely.  
"Yeah. Sure." She looked around her feeling a little sick. "Lucky that Edward offered me a job at the clinic." She muttered. "What's the new doctor like?"  
Her dad looked confused.  
"Umm, well…"  
"I guess I'll find out soon enough. I better go call Edward."  
Her dad nodded, still looking confused.

Bella stepped out of the house. Her house and sat down on the front steps. Hamish joined her, flopping himself down next to her and rested his head on her knee.  
"You like this place boy?" she cooed.  
Thump thump thump went his tail. She took that as a yes.  
She pulled her phone out and saw she had two missed calls. One from her solicitor and one from the number that she assumed was Edward's.  
Taking a deep breath, she willed the nerves to go away and pressed the call button.  
It rang twice before Edward answered, his deep voice sending shivers down to her toes. It made her cross with herself that she was still affected by him in that way.  
"Bella. You okay?" He sounded concerned.  
Bella rolled her eyes at herself for thinking that was sweet.  
"Yeah, um, so the job?"  
"You want it?" she could almost see his eyebrows going up in surprise.  
"Yeah, well, if it's still going."  
"Sure. Okay. I'll get the paperwork sent to you. When can you start?"  
Not wanting to give Edward too much information about what was happening in her life, she thought about it.  
"A week? Is that too long? Is the Doc okay with that?"  
Edward paused. "Yeah, he's okay with that."  
"Okay. So a week on Monday. Time?"  
Edward was silent down the phone.  
"Edward? If you don't know, that's fine. I'll call and ask the doctor myself."  
"No, no, don't worry about that. I was just thinking that's all. The hours will be 9-4 Monday, Tuesday and Friday. Wednesday's a shorter days because that's home visit day. So, you'll be needed 3-5.30 as the clinic is open later."  
"No weekends?" she asked.  
"No, the clinic is closed. If there are any emergencies or if someone needs to see the doctor, they can call the on call number.  
"Sounds good. Thanks Edward."  
"See you around." He said and hung up before Bella could reply.  
She put her phone back in her pocket and ran her hands through Hamish's fur.  
For the first time in a long time, she felt herself relax.


	6. Chapter 6

Bella had been back in town for five days and Edward was going insane.  
Every patient he saw asked him if he'd seen Bella, or they would tell him they had seen her and would give him a word for word run down of what was said, and as much as he wanted to hear about Bella's day, or what she had bought at the grocery shop (bread, milk and a bag of apples) he didn't want to hear the town's opinion of why she was home.  
When Mrs Kline had insinuated that Bella was the cause of Jacob cheating on her, Edward had to stop himself from prescribing the old woman laxatives instead of antibiotics.  
He was sick of hearing about Bella when he hadn't seen her at all.  
Pepper's Bay was a small town. It was almost impossible to not run into at least half of the town in a day. Which meant one thing. She was avoiding him.  
Which really got on Edward's nerves.  
So, instead of his usual surf in the morning, he had taken to running up and down the beach in the morning. He'd leave his house and run all the way down past Bella's parent's house and then back again. His calf muscles were burning at the punishing workout they were receiving. If anything this innocent stalking of Bella would have him healthier.  
Instead of bringing his lunch into work with him, he was buying it in town, either at the cafe or the pub, hoping that she would be in town doing some shopping. When Becky needed to go to the post office, he jumped at the opportunity and raced down there for her, wondering if Bella needed to post something.  
It wasn't as if she wasn't out and about either.

Mrs Jones happily told Edward all about the lovely lunch she had with Bella at the cafe, as he checked her blood pressure. Becky took her youngest to the beach with Bella and her children the other day after work and his friend Paul and his wife Tina had invited her over to dinner on Thursday night.  
Which made it painfully obvious that she was avoiding him and he was sick of it.  
People in the town were going to start thinking he'd lost his mind with all of his darting around and checking over his shoulder every few minutes.

By Saturday morning, he'd given up. He'd ran down to their spot and had 'stretched' for over half an hour before he gave up and trudged home. Monday morning she could try and avoid him as much as she liked. It wasn't going to happen.  
As he jogged up the road to his house, he noticed the old house next door had a few cars out the front and a large truck.  
Charlie was standing behind the truck, directing two young guys holding a big white sofa into the house.  
"What's going on?" Edward wiped the sweat off his face with his shirt.  
"Morning Edward." Charlie grinned. "You've got a new neighbor."  
"I can see that, who is it? I didn't think the house had been purchased." He said with a frown.  
"It's mine. Well, was mine until a few days ago. I purchased it years ago when it first came up for sale. Remember Mrs Harding and her son Lenny?"  
Edward cast his mind back, remembering a tall lanky guy a few years younger than he was and his widowed mother. "Yeah, kind of."  
"Well, when Mrs Harding died, Lenny wanted to move to be with his boyfriend." Charlie raised his eyebrows.  
"Huh." Said Edward, surprised it was the first time he'd heard that information. Pepper's Bay was full of kind hearted people and it didn't matter if you were gay, straight or a little in between, but they loved a gossip and anyone was fair game in the rumour mill. "I did not see that coming."  
Charlie grinned and chuckled. "Yeah, I was a little surprised myself. Anyway, he approached me, knowing the place was in shitty condition and offered me a deal. I couldn't refuse it, so I purchased the house and he went off to open a cafe with some guy called Tony."  
"Fair enough. So, you're not moving in here?" Edward asked in confusion.  
"No. I'll let you go and introduce yourself." Charlie clapped him on the back and then lifted himself into the truck, yelling for the moving guys to get their asses over there.

Edward walked down the drive and found a little girl, wearing a grey dress with pink polka dots on it and a pair of pink converse. Her light brown hair had a little curl to it, her huge green eyes, belonging to the very woman who had been avoiding him all week.  
The little girl was pushing a little pram around with a little dolly inside. When she ran over his foot, she looked up and her green eyes grew wide.  
"SUPERMAN" she screeched at the top of her lungs. Emmett was not wrong. The girl had some pipes on her. Kneeling down, he smiled.  
"You must be Violet. You look just like your mommy." She really did. It was as if she was cloned.  
Violet pushed the pram away and scrambled closer to Edward. Coming right up to him, he was amused to see she wasn't shy at all. Her little pudgy hands gripped on to his face as she examined his face. He could see little flecks of gold in her green eyes they were that close. Her long eyelashes brushed the tops of her chubby cheeks when she blinked. She smelt of strawberries, baby shampoo and Bella. She was perfect.  
"Superman" she confirmed to herself. "MUMMY. SUPERMAN!" she screamed. Edward jolted back in shock, feeling his eardrums throb.  
The door slammed open and a little boy strolled out, wanting to see what his sister was yelling about.  
"Max! SUPERMAN." Violet pointed at Edward's face.  
The little boy shook his little head. "No Violet, that's not Superman. He's just a man." Max rolled his eyes and gave Edward a look as if to say "sisters". Edward wanted to laugh, but he didn't want Max to think he was laughing at him so he just nodded in agreement.  
"No, dis MY Superman" Violet argued back. She put her hand in his and held tight as if she was frightened he would fly away.  
"Max, where is your sis— Oh." Bella was filthy. She was wearing a pair of old running shorts, a t-shirt that had its hem ripped off so you could see her belly button and a bandanna wrapped around her head like a 1950's housewife. It would have been a good look for her if she wasn't completely covered in dust.  
"What the hell are you doing here?"  
"SUPERMAN MOMMY!" Violet bellowed.  
"I was coming back from my run and I saw your dad. He tells me I have a new neighbor."  
"You have a what?" And suddenly, Bella realised what was really going on. "Oh my god. That interfering old man." She hissed quietly.  
"What?" Edward asked enjoying her discomfort.  
"Violet, come to mommy." She held her hand out for Violet to take it.  
Violet, stepped closer to Edward. "No tanks." She said sweetly.  
Edward held back to chuckle. "She thinks I'm Superman." He said proudly.  
"Yeah, she's got terrible taste." Bella snarled.  
This time he did chuckle. He was overjoyed to learn that Bella was his new neighbor. Bella's snarky comments would slide off his back for a good two weeks he estimated.  
"Like mother like daughter." He winked back at her.  
"Oh, fff— go away." She put her hands on her hips, bringing more attention to her bare midriff. Catching Edward's eyes on her bellybutton, her cheeks heated and she quickly dropped her arms and pulled her shirt down. This pulled the v-neck lower, exposing her cleavage. Edward raised his eyebrows. Realising what she was doing, she gave up.  
"Wait, how is it that you live next door. I thought you were in Seattle." She said with a frown.  
Edward shrugged. "I've been back for a little while."  
"You didn't answer my question."  
"What was your question, Bella?" Violet leant her head against his leg and smiled up at him.  
"Why do you live next door." She said impatiently.  
"Because I wanted to buy a house by the beach close to my family?" He knew she wanted to know why he was back in Pepper's Bay, but he wasn't going to make things easy on her.  
"Edward." She said with a warning.  
"Bella." He said back.  
"Mommy," Violet said in the same tone Edward had used.  
His chuckle earned him a glare from Bella.  
"Who is that man?" Max asked his mom. The difference in the two children was amazing. Max was dark haired the same colouring as Bella, Violet with softer tones and wavy hair stuck in pigtails at the top of her head. Where Violet was bold and fearless, Max was cautious and serious. Although Violet looked so much like Bella in the face, Max had Bella's quiet side. He was taken back to the first time he'd met Bella.  
She was this tiny little thing with a shock of dark curls and a grin that took up most of her face. She had followed Emmett and Edward around all afternoon, demanding that Edward sat next to her at the dinner table when he was invited to eat. But instead of joining in with their games, she preferred to sit close and watch. He'd bet that Max would be the same.  
Edward stepped forward and held out his hand to the little boy, hoping that a formal introduction would appeal to his serious side.  
"Good morning. My Name is Dr Edward Cullen. But you can just call me Edward."  
Max took his hand and shook it seriously.  
"I'm Max Black and that's my mommy." He pointed at Bella.  
"Did you know that I knew your mommy when she was the same age as you?"  
Max's eyes widened. "Do you have any pictures?"  
Edward stood and thought. "You know, I think I might somewhere. I'll have a look around and see if I can find some." And then he remembered. "Oh, I do have one when she was a teenager."  
"You do not." Bella rolled her eyes.  
"I absolutely do. I'll bring it over later on."  
"I see you've met the neighbor" Charlie interrupted. He was carrying a heavy box and stumbled dramatically. Edward rushed over and took the box from Bella's dad.  
"I've got it."  
Charlie smirked. "So you do. If you could take that into the kitchen, that would be great." He winked and turned to go back to the truck.  
"Just you wait a minute Father dearest."  
Charlie stopped and slowly turned.  
"Yes?" he said as if he hadn't orchestrated the whole thing.  
"You and I are going to have a talk." Bella glared at her father.  
Max looked between the two of them and then at Edward. "That's her angry voice." He said seriously.  
Edward swallowed his laugh. "Yes, it is isn't it." He shifted the box and started to head inside.  
Bella stepped in front of him stopping him from entering the house.  
"What are you doing?" she shrieked.  
"I'm going to take this really heavy box inside for you. I'm being neighborly." He gave a saccharine smile. "Unless you want to take it?"  
She eyed the box. He stood waiting patiently for her to make up her mind. Finally, her shoulders drooped. "Though to the back. Just find a space for it."  
Edward nodded. "Wasn't so hard was it?"  
"You have no idea." She muttered darkly.  
He carried the box in and almost dropped it when he saw the state of the house. He was about to swear when he realised that Violet was still practically attached to his leg. "Oh my God." Standing in the middle of the entry way he was speechless. He found the kitchen, left the box on the floor close to the kitchen cabinets if you could call the rotted wood hanging from the wall a cabinet and stalked out to where Bella and Charlie were standing head to head. You could almost see steam coming out of Bella's ears.  
"You can't stay here." He said in a panicked voice.  
"What? Why not?" she asked alarmed.  
"Because, Bella, that place is a shithole. It's not safe."  
"Language. The last thing I need is Violet repeating anything unsavoury at playgroup." She glared at him. "And it's perfectly safe." She said this with a little bit of hesitancy.  
Edward turned to Charlie, who was trying to back away quickly. "How could you let them stay there?"  
"Come on Edward, it's fine. It's a little dusty and dirty and needs some renovations, but it's safe."  
Edward gave him a look.  
"Okay, safe-ish. The kids can't go into the laundry or touch anything in the kitchen."  
He wanted to roll his eyes, but Charlie had practically raised him and he didn't want to be disrespectful.  
"How can you expect kids to follow instructions like that?" He looked down at Violet who was happily plucking grass and putting it in her mouth.  
"Violet, no. Yucky." Bella bent over and brushed the grass blades from her hands.  
"It will be fine. We are of no concern to you Edward." Bella forced out.  
He hated it when she did that. They both knew that wasn't true. "Bella."  
"Stop. You don't get to barge into my life and make demands of me or tell me what I can and can't do. You don't have that right."  
Charlie went to say something but stopped when she glared at him.  
Edward turned and walked down the driveway. He felt her eyes on him the entire way.

When he got home, he jumped in the shower and quickly washed off. The whole time stewing over what Bella had said to him.  
He didn't barge into her life. He was here first as far as he was concerned. He moved back first. He moved into this house first. Why did she get to call all the shots?  
Getting more and more worked up as he dried himself off and got dressed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.  
He was on his hands and knees begging for her back all those years ago after one mistake and she's punished him ever since.  
By the time he was in the car and driving over to the next town, he was furious with her.  
When he got to the shop he needed, he jumped out of the car and slammed the door before storming into the shop.  
The cute shop assistant jumped when she saw him. "Oh. Hi. Can I help you?" he watched as she ran her eyes over him, first his face, then his body and finally landing on his hand to see if he was married.  
"Where are your baby gates?"  
Disappointment flashed in her eyes before she pointed to the back of the store. "You'll find what you need down that way. If you need any help, give me a yell."  
Edward nodded tightly and stalked towards the baby gates.  
It was confusing trying to find the right one, he didn't know if he should get a metal, plastic or wood one. What colour should he get? What was the best one, the safest one? Why was all of this so difficult?  
In the end, he chose three retractable fences and hoped that it was the right choice. These would help with keeping Violet out of places she shouldn't be in.  
By the time he made it back to Pepper's Bay, and back to their street, the moving truck had left. Her dad's car was there still which was a relief. Edward wasn't comfortable with them being in the house all alone in the state it was in.

He found Bella ripping up the brown shag pile carpet in the living room when he walked in.  
Instead of acknowledging her, he walked through the house and into the kitchen, ignoring her protests as he went. He waved at Charlie, who was ripping out the carpet in the dining room and winked at the kids who were sitting on the sofa holding iPads watching a show.  
While Bella stood behind him and ranted and raved at him, he got to work, installing the gates.  
It took him twenty minutes to complete each gate.  
A whole hour where Bella stood behind him and yelled at him.  
She brought up the first fight they'd ever had. She had a go at him for forgetting to pick her up from school one afternoon. She told him off for the time they took a road trip and he took a wrong turning. She screamed at him for barging into her house and taking over and she actually kicked his shins when she brought up the time he got drunk and fell asleep on her birthday. He was irresponsible and untrustworthy and sneaky and the worst person ever according to Bella. Every barb cut him to the core.  
He was about to throw his tools down and leave halfway through completing the last gate when he realised that she was obviously still holding on to all of this stuff. Which meant it was still important.  
When he finished with the last screw, he stood up and stretched. The laundry was so vile, he didn't even want Bella in there renovating let alone a small child wandering in there.  
Bella was still on her rant. Now she had moved onto the time he voted for someone different in the election. Obviously, his political views were wrong too.  
Charlie had left half way through the second gate installation, saluting Edward and mouthing 'good luck' to him behind Bella's back. He'd taken the kids with him, as they weren't going to be sleeping in the house for another few days as Bella wanted the kid's bedrooms finished and safe.  
"Bella, stop your shit for a second."  
Her cheeks went red with rage, but before she could get any more insults out, Edward covered her mouth with his hand.  
"Just stop. For fuck sake. I've just installed these gates for you so Violet doesn't get into places that are too dangerous." He took his hand off her mouth with a warning look. "I swear to God Bella, if you open your mouth one more time, I'm going to gag you." Bella's eyes flashed, but she didn't say anything.  
"Good. Now, these are retractable, so when it's just you at home, or Violet is a little older, they'll roll up like this." He demonstrated it for her.  
She stood watching silently.  
"I'm not a kid anymore Bella. I'm not some idiot that doesn't know what he's doing." He looked her in the eyes.  
"You're angry. I get it. You're allowed to be angry, at me, at Jacob, even at yourself" he raised his eyebrows at her in understanding. "But I'm not your fucking punching bag."  
He picked up the tools and walked out of the house.


	7. Chapter 7

A.N

Woah, thanks so much for the kind reviews and follows/faves, I've now posted all that I have, so now I'm writing as fast as I can. I'll *try* to put something up every day/other day when I can.

I have all intentions of completing this one, aiming for around 30/31 chapters. We will see how we go.

I don't have a beta, (if there is anyone who would like to volunteer, flick me a note.) so if something doesn't make sense, lemme know!

Bella bit her lip as she watched Edward storm out of the house.

"Fuck." She said to the empty house.

Her intention was to work on the house as much as she could. Every spare minute she had, she wanted to be at the house making it a home for her children.

She wanted Monday to be the start of their new lives. The kids were starting at the kindy in town ran by her good friend Cam, and she was starting her new job.

But now all she wanted to do was crawl into a warm bed, watch some netflix and eat ice cream. All that yelling at Edward had worn her out.

A flush of shame went through her at the thought of how she had behaved. She knew that she was being unfair. He'd done a lovely thing putting up those gates for her and she hadn't even said thank you.

Knowing he was only a couple hundred metres away made things so much harder. She couldn't avoid him like she had been. Every time she saw him coming, she'd ran the opposite direction.

She watched him jog up and down their beach every day, refusing to admit to herself how amazing he looked in just a pair of running shorts. She'd thrown herself into the walk-in freezer when he walked into the grocery store on Tuesday. She spent 15 minutes in there shivering and shaking, hiding behind a carton of beer as he walked up and down the isles, obviously in search of her.

By the time he'd given up and left, she was convinced she was going to die of hypothermia.

She knew that she was going to have to get over it, but she'd been holding her anger at him for such a long time it was a part of her.

She'd told herself she had moved on with Jacob, but the fact of the matter was, Jacob was always playing catch up to Edward.

Wasn't that a terrible thing to do to someone, she thought. No wonder he had left her for someone else. Someone who could give their whole heart to him, instead of only half.

Sinking to the floor, Bella leant against a wall and kicked her legs out in front of her.

"Just let it go Bella." She whispered to herself.

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity you know." Bella turned her head at hearing her mother's voice.

"Hey, Mom."

"Your dad said you could probably do with some girl time." Renee made her way through the ripped up carpets and wallpaper to Bella's side. She was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a floaty white shirt that she had owned since Bella was a child. Sliding down next to Bella, Renee wrapped her arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

"So."

Bella sighed deeply. The scent of dust, paint and her mom's perfume calming her slightly.

"It's all so…messed up." Bella swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. "It's my fault you know. All of it."

"How is that possible sweetheart?" Renee gently rocked them from side to side, the gesture so familiar to Bella, it brought tears to her eyes.

"I've held on to things. I never let go of Edward, Mom. Not once. I told myself I had, I lied to Jacob about it too. Do you know how many arguments we used to have over him?"

Renee squeezed her shoulder. "Probably a lot, I'm guessing."

"I couldn't even tell you." Bella chewed on her bottom lip. "But as much as I couldn't let go of him, I couldn't let go of how much he hurt me either. It just…" Bella sat up, pulling away from Renee. "It's too messy. I tried to be someone else for so long you know. I thought that if I made myself into the person Jacob wanted, I would forget.

But all that did was push Jacob further away from me, because I was angry with him for not being who I wanted."

"And that was?"

Bella didn't answer.

They already knew.

"So, what are you going to do?"

That was the million dollar question, wasn't it?

"What I can do. Move on, give my kids a good life, make a home out of this shack and try not to firebomb my next door neighbor." She raised her eyebrow at her mom, who had the grace to look a little sheepish.

"It's going to get better Bella. I promise."

Bella loved Renee's positivity, just not when it was directed at her.

"Yeah, well, we'll see."

Renee climbed to her feet and brushed off the dust from her clothes.

"I'm going to head home and start on some dinner before Charlie and the kids start gnawing on the door frames or something. Coming?"

Bella had a look around the house seeing all the work she had to do before the place was somewhat liveable.

"In a bit. I need to go and eat some humble pie next door."

Renee beamed. "Good luck."

Edward was sitting on the steps to his house, an open bottle of beer by his feet and his head in his hands, pulling at the ends.

It was a gesture so familiar to Bella, she almost smiled. One time, she knew him better than anyone else in the world. She knew when he was frustrated or stressed out, he'd yank his hair. She used to run her hands through his hair, gently teasing. "All your hair is going to fall out one day." She'd threaten. He'd smile and ask her if she'd still love him if he was bald.

Now that the sun had gone down, it was a little cold out. Bella wished she had remembered her jacket before she built up the courage to come and talk to Edward.

"Hey."

Edward pulled his hands out of his hair and looked up at her.

"What do you want sweetheart? I don't have it in me to go for another round of 'blame Edward for everything shitty in your life' right now if it's alright with you."

Bella stood at the bottom of the stairs kicking at a small rock.

"I don't blame you for everything." Then bit her lip at the lie.

Edward scoffed.

"Okay."

She felt her cheeks heat at how ridiculous she was being.

"Thank you."

Edward looked up at her with a frown. "For?"

"For not throwing me in the laundry room like I deserved…" she trailed off, feeling a little thrill when the corner of his lips turned up.

He sighed heavily and held out the bottle of beer.

"You want one?"

She should say no. She needed to get home to her babies and try and work out how she was going to have the house somewhat liveable before Max started high school.

"Okay."

She sat as Edward stood up and entered the house to get her drink.

Handing her the beer, he dropped a jacket around her shoulders and gave her a look she had been on the end of more times than she could count, before sitting next to her on the stairs.

"Thanks."

"Your house looks like something out of a horror movie."

Bella glared at him. "It's going to be amazing when it's all finished."

"Yup. If the place doesn't fall down before." "Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for putting the gates up."

"Anytime." He sighed heavily and lifted his beer to his lips. "Where are the kids?"

"Dad took them back to theirs. Think Mum and Dad are happy they've got all their babies back in the same place."

"Didn't think you'd come back, Bella." he said quietly.

"I didn't either. Too many ghosts here. You know what I mean?"

Edward slid his hand over to hers and touched her pinky finger with his. "I do."

They sat outside of his quiet house for a few minutes. Bella wanted to say something more, but couldn't find the words.

"I'm going to go before Violet burns mom and dad's house down or something."

"Call me if you need anything."

Bella nodded, knowing that even if she did need anything, she wouldn't call. She watched as he got to his feet. He was almost at the door when he turned around. "Night." He looked as if he was going to say something else, but when he didn't, she lifted her hand up and gave a small wave. "See you."

Monday morning came around far too quickly for Bella's liking. She'd spent a busy Sunday ripping out the broken cabinets from the kitchen and scrubbing the bathroom until she was satisfied they weren't going to develop some disgusting disease from the dirt coating the tiles. Both Alice and Emmett had arrived first thing on Sunday morning armed with cleaning supplies and tools. Alice helped with scrubbing down the bathroom as Emmett took to the kitchen with a sledgehammer. Violet sat on the other side of the baby gate watching her uncle with a look of awe and jealousy at the violence of the demolition. Both Alice and Bella giggled at Emmett telling Violet to stop screaming at him to "HIT IT HARDER YOU BIG LADY"

The house was still completely unlivable for the time being. The kitchen was in no state to make the most basic of meals and after Bella and Alice had stood in the doorway of the laundry and heard a strange growling and then gurgling sound that had the two of them backing up silently with fear on their faces, Bella made the decision that she and the children would stay at her parents until the kitchen was at least useable for making toast, and the laundry had a door attached. With a lock. And possibly a pest inspection. Or maybe even an exorcism.

Violet had chosen to wear a pair of leggings and Max's Superman t-shirt for her first day of kindy. It was so big on her little frame that it looked like a dress. When Max had told her that she wasn't allowed to wear his t-shirt, Violet had pulled his hair until he stopped whining. "Sweetheart, don't pull hair. It's not nice." Bella chastised her violent daughter as she cut up sandwiches for school lunches.

Violet sighed loudly and then shouted an apology.

"Are you sure she doesn't have a hearing issue?" Emmett asked as he strode into the kitchen.

"Yes. Positive. She just likes to yell. It's her thing." Started cutting up some apple and adding it to the kid's lunch boxes.

"I'm a little bit scared of her," Emmett admitted under his breath as he poured himself a coffee and bit into a muffin that their mother had made the night before.

"They're for the kids to take to school. Stop eating all the food. And you should be frightened of her. She's terrifying."

Emmett shoved the rest of the muffin in his mouth. "I'm a growing boy." He said as he chewed.

"Mommy says you shouldn't talk with your mouth full." Max opened up his school bag and put his hat and lunch box in. "I need my raincoat." He looked up at his mother seriously. "It might rain."

Bella felt a burst of love go through her at her seriously practical little boy. "It's not going to rain today honey. Come on kids, we need to get a move on. Mommy needs to be at work soon."

Max zipped his bag up tight and headed to the front door. Violet had removed everything from her bag and was trying to shove the dog in, much to Hamish's annoyance.

"Violet, stop that now. Come on."

"WAIT." She patted Hamish on the head. "GOOD DOGGIE." She tried to zip the bag up as Hamish looked forlornly at the adults.

Emmett snorted as Bella took a deep breath and counted to ten. When that didn't work she counted to twenty.

"Hamish is not allowed to go to daycare sweetheart. He wants to stay here and take care of the house."

Violet sighed sadly and unzipped the dog. "YOU COME TOMORROW." She bellowed at pointed her finger at Hamish. He scampered off down the hallway at his release. Probably in fear.

"Come on. I don't want to be late for my first day." Bella looked at her watch and realised she had fifteen minutes to get the kids to daycare and then to work.

"Yeah, because your new boss will totally fire you." Emmett snorted.

"Will he?" a stab of fear went through her. Bella didn't want to risk her first paying job in years because of her poor time management.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Are you okay? Of course he won't." Emmett took a loud slurp of his coffee and put his cup in the dishwasher. "Say Hi to the good doctor for me. He owes me a beer."

"You know him?"

"Who?"

"The doctor?"

Emmett gave her an odd look at nodded slowly. "Yeees?"

"What's he like?" Bella asked wanting to know what her new boss was like.

"As a doctor?" Emmett asked with a look of confusion on his face.

"Well, yeah? And personality wise I guess."

"Well, as a doc, he's awesome. You should know that."

"MOMMY, VIOLET IS KICKING ME!" Max shrieked out.

With a sigh and her eyes rolling into the back of her head, Bella grabbed her things and rushed down the hallway.

"I'll talk to you later."

Emmett lifted two fingers in a wave and scratched his head.

She was officially late. Three minutes late, but late all the same. Anxiety crept up her back and she took a deep breath. "You're okay, this is the start of the rest of your life." She told herself in the mirror as she smoothed down her hair and checked her teeth for any lipstick .She had chosen her outfit that morning carefully. Wanting to make a good impression on her new boss and the patients of the clinic, she had picked out a pair of slim fitting crop trousers, a black and white polka dot silk blouse and her trusty black Manolo Blahnik shoes Jacob had purchased for her one birthday. Well, she had bought them, wrapped them and he paid the credit card bill. That year he'd forgotten her birthday completely. She knew that most people in her small hometown wouldn't ever spend that amount on shoes in a lifetime, but she loved them all the same. Even if no one else could appreciate them, she would. Every time she wore them, she remembered how she felt on that day walking up and down the city, brushing tears from her cheeks.

The clinic was across the street from the small park in the centre of town. The building used to be a house, but had been converted into the medical clinic before she was born. Bella supposed that the town doctor once lived there. From her recollection, the three bedrooms were converted into the nurses office, which was shared by the local nurse, a dietitian and a counsellor who came in once a week for appointments. There was a procedure room and of course the Doctors office. The rest of the house had been renovated to facilitate a reception, storage room, and staff room off the kitchen.

Bella had been coming to the clinic since birth. Dr Cullen had been her doctor until she turned 18 and fled their small town. She'd spent weekends and after school hours sorting through paperwork for the unorganised man, but loved every minute of it. Walking up the stairs to the door, she felt awfully sad that Edward's dad wouldn't be there to greet her.

Bella pushed the door open and stepped into the reception room. Looking around the room she smiled at the obvious makeover the clinic had undergone. Instead of the dark wood panelling, everything was white and clean. Polished floor boards gleamed instead of the ratty old carpet that had once covered the floor, new upholstered armchairs and a sofa in the seating area positioned around the new electric fireplace that had replaced the old heater that used to smell like hot dust in the winter. They'd even added a flat screen tv mounted on the wall. Bella huffed in surprise. Turning, she took in the rest of what she could see. The reception desk had been re-built with beautiful beech wood counter tops and what looked like a new computer gleaming on the desk. "Wow."

"Looks good doesn't it." The deep voice of Edward rumbled from the hallway that would take you into the back of the clinic, towards the offices.

Bella jolted. "Oh my gosh, Edward, you scared the shit out of me." She put her hand over her heart and felt it race.

"Sorry." He smirked.

He looked so good standing there, with a pair of khaki slacks and a dark blue shirt rolled up to his elbows, his hair stylishly messy. Bella used to tease him about how he could look so effortlessly handsome, while it took her a good hour of getting ready to look somewhat presentable. He used to roll his eyes and tell her she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. She used to believe him.

Bella pulled her shoulders back and lifted her chin. "What are you doing here?"

"I own the place, Bella."

"Yeah, but why are you here now?" Her brows furrowed in confusion.

He sighed and looked at his watch. "I work here. It's my clinic. I'm the town doctor."

Bella swallowed and bit her lip, her mind racing. There was no way she could work here. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have taken the job if I'd said you'd be working with me every day?" he asked patiently.

"Absolutely not." She raised her voice, her cheeks burning with anger. "You tricked me. On purpose. Just another one of your lies Edward." She hissed.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Alright, Bella. I offered you the job so I could torture you."

"Well why else would you?" she yelled.

"Because you needed something and I could give that to you. Why is that so hard for you to accept?"

Panic. She was panicking. She couldn't work here with him. It was going to be hard enough living next door to him. How was that fair? The universe was playing some terrible prank on her. Or she'd done something dreadful in a past life or something. It was probably all that bad karma from being a teenage rebel she thought. She should never have tee-peed the Mayors house when she was fifteen.

"You're being ridiculous. I could have advertised and hired someone else, but I did this for you. Why can't you just take my help Bella?"

"I don't want anything from you Edward." Bella threw her handbag at him. As her black leather tote flew through the air she realised what she had done. Her eyes widened as it hurtled towards him. Quick as lightening Edward grabbed it and held the bag to his stomach.

"Real mature Bella. I would have thought you'd have outgrown throwing tantrums."

"Fuck you Edward" she bellowed. This was mortifying. She didn't want anything from him. She didn't want his pity or sympathy or charity. She could do this by herself. "I can't work here. I won't work here." She stalked towards him and reached for her bag.

He held it behind his back and stood up to his full height, towering over her. She expected him to yell back at her, or threaten her with something horrible to get his way. Instead, he leant forward so his face was centimetres from hers and spoke quietly but firmly. "You will work here. You will be civil towards me in front of my patients and you will do as you are god damned told for once in your life woman. Take the fucking help. Do it for your kids. Stop running from your shit Bell. Grow the fuck up."

With that, he straightened his back and stiffly turned and strode out of the room, her purse still in his hands.

"Give me my bag back." She yelled after him, not really sure what her next plan was. Her first instinct was to run. Run far away from town. She should just pack up and leave. Go somewhere else. Away from Edward. Away from the shitty memories.

If it was just herself, she would do it. But the thought of pulling the children away from their grandparents again made her heart clench. Her ugly decrepit house that would one day be beautiful gave her another reason to stay. She wanted roots for her children and herself desperately. Pepper's Bay was where she needed to be. Working this job with that man was what she needed to do.

Besides. Her keys were in her handbag.


	8. Chapter 8

Edward stalked into his office and slammed the door with such force the walls quaked, his diplomas and artwork shaking with the impact.

Dropping Bella's bag on the floor he gripped at his hair and tugged in frustration.

"Fuck."

He almost expected to hear her footsteps storming down the hallway towards him to go for round two. That was usually her M.O. Bella liked to have the last word and couldn't stand a fight that she didn't win.

Before when they were younger, Edward loved that about her. Her fire and fight. Now though, he was exhausted. Almost every encounter he'd had with her had been turbulent and awful. It left him feeling sick and panicky as if he was fast losing control of everything around him. This was a terrible idea.

He picked her bag up and placed it on his desk, next to his brief case. He'd give it back to her once he was calm and not ready to strangle her. Not physically, of course, he'd never ever lay his hands on her. He would be scared of what she'd do in retaliation. He snorted at the thought.

Collapsing in his leather chair he lent his head back and closed his eyes. This wasn't going to work. He should have kept them separate. Found someone else for the job instead of trying to hold onto something that wasn't there anymore. Living next door and working alongside Bella was going to be like stepping though a minefield. One wrong look or comment and it was all going to blow up in their faces.

A timid knock on his office door shook him out of his thoughts.

"Come in."

Bella peeked her head around the door, her eyes wide and slightly bloodshot as if she'd been holding back tears. He'd done that. He was always going to make her feel like this. Another reason why this was a bad idea. He would always bring her pain.

Instead of saying anything, he just watched her slowly walk into his office, looking around the room wide eyed.

It was different from what she probably remembered. The walls were now a crisp white, the decor updated and instead of his fathers things on the shelves and book cases, Edward had placed his diplomas, trophies and books. The room was no longer dark and stuffy, but light and comfortable. When Emmett had finished with the renovations, Edward was worried he'd regret the work done on the clinic. His intention wasn't to erase his father from the clinic entirely, but make it something more modern and comfortable for the people of Pepper's Bay. Everyone who had come through the clinic soothed his worries though. They all missed his father dreadfully, but loved the new look. He wondered if Bella liked the new office, or if it was too much of a reminder of what had changed.

He watched as Bella made her way to one of the chairs in front of his desk. She smoothed her shirt down as she sat, fidgeting with the hem.

"So. Pepper's Bay gets a traffic light and the medical clinic gets a makeover. What else is new?"

Edward felt his lips quirk up. "The pub moved Trivia night from Thursday to Tuesday. The entire town was in an uproar."

Bella widened her eyes in mock shock "But Bingo is on Tuesdays!"

"Bingo is now on a Wednesday. Schnitzel night is now on a Monday and they've bought a karaoke machine."

"Huh. Leave town for 11 years and everything changes."

Edward sighed. "Everything else is still the same though. Same people, same gossip, same fights." He looked at her and raised his eyebrow.

She bit her lip and looked down at her hands, clasped on her lap in front of her.

"So, tell me what is expected of me then." She said resignedly.

Edward closed his eyes in relief. She was staying. It was a terrible idea, but he was a sucker for punishment. He wanted her here.

"Becky has left you instructions on how to use the booking system, but it's really simple and I don't think you'll have any issues with it. If you need any help though, you can ask me and I'll help. Or you can call Becky. She can talk you through it." She nodded her head and smiled slightly. Edward remembered that Becky and Bella had once been friends. They probably still were.

"I'll need you to book people in, the system marries up to my computer here, so I'll know when the patient is here and I'll come out and greet them. If they need another appointment, I'll give them a form that will tell you what kind of appointment they need." He pulled out a small form and pointed out what kind of appointments there were and how long to book them in for.

You'll be in charge of booking the appointments for the others also. Becky has left a roster of when they are in.

I'm still in the process of moving everything over digitally, so your help with that when it's quiet would be good."

Bella nodded her head and glanced around the room again.

"If it's not too much trouble, I'll take you with me when I do my home visit this week, I'd like you to meet some people so you know who you're talking to on the phone."

Tucking her hair behind her ears she nodded again. "Sure."

"Tea, coffee and snacks are in the kitchen. Help yourself. The clinic closes for half an hour for lunch at mid-day, so remember that when booking people in. We aren't too busy, but there are times when the waiting room is full and some people can get testy. If anyone is giving you trouble, call me and I'll deal with it."

"okay."

Edward let out a breath of air and relaxed into his chair. "Bella. I'm sorry for what I said okay?"

"Which part? The one where you told me to stop running from my shitty life or to grow up?" she snarked.

He held the urge to roll his eyes at her. "I didn't say your life was shit. Don't twist my words. I said stop running from your shit. That includes our shit." He gritted out between clenched teeth.

"I'm not running from our shit Edward. I left that behind me a long time ago." She lied.

Edward tilted his head and ran his eyes over her. He watched as her cheeks burnt with indignation. "You're a lot of things Bell, but a good liar you aren't."

Her eyes widened. Before she could open her mouth to form a retort, Edward rose from his chair. "The clinic needs to open. Your employment contract and all the forms I need you to fill in are on your desk. If you could fill them out before the end of the day, that would be wonderful." He smoothed his tie down his shirt and walked out of the office ignoring her.

If this had any chance of working, they would need to form some kind of truce. Him continually bringing up their past wasn't helping.

Edward had just finished a check up and was walking back into his office as his phone rang. Checking the open booking page on his computer, he saw that he wasn't due anyone for the next twenty minutes, so he answered the call. Normally, he'd send it to voicemail, but the name on the caller ID made him pause.

"Charlie." Edward greeted Bella's father.

"Edward. How're things?"

Edward frowned and sunk into his chair. "Fine? Everything okay?"

He listened as Charlie paused down the phone collecting his thoughts.

"Yeah, everything is okay, I just wanted to check on Bella."

"Charlie, she's 30. She's a capable adult doing a job that she could do with her eyes closed. Of course, she's okay."

"That's not what I meant. She didn't know you were working there and none of us told her."

"Oh, that." Edward chewed his lip and thought for a second. "Why didn't anyone tell her. Surely you could have told her it was me?" he fiddled with his stethoscope around his neck.

"Well, I knew that if she knew it was you she'd be working with, she'd have quit before she even started."

"True…" Edward trailed off.

"And she needs this job. Not for the money, but for her, you know?"

Edward nodded. Charlie was a great dad. A pang of loss went through him. He missed Carlisle.

"You know that we'll work it all out right?"

"I hope Edward, Renee and I love you like a son. We were heartsick with what happened between the two of you. We just want to help."

"By buying the house next to mine and giving it to her?"

Charlie had the grace to chuckle at himself. "Yeah. That kind of thing."

Edward sighed heavily. "Charlie, I appreciate you and Renee helping, but we need to do this ourselves. Bella has to want to talk to me without wanting to punch me in the face, you know? She's hurting real bad. And only half of that is my fault. The rest is Jacob's fault."

"Yeah, well, if I ever get my hands on him-"

"You'll have to get in line." Edward finished for him.

They were silent for a few beats, both in their own heads. Perhaps Charlie and Renee had the right idea. Perhaps Bella and Edward did need to spend more time together, the more he was around her, the relaxed she'd be. Then they'd have a chance to talk about what had happened. Maybe have a chance of moving on or something.

The afternoon dragged.

Normally, he'd have a steady stream of people in and out of his room, but Becky must have scheduled the day lightly, in preparation for Bella. It was kind of her to do that, but he was irritated that he couldn't throw himself into his patients and forget about Bella sitting less than twenty metres away. He knew she was still furious with him, he could practically feel the heat of her anger coming off her in waves when he'd gone out to collect his last patient, but Edward thought himself a brave man, and it didn't put him off wanting to be near her.

Lunch had been interesting.

When the last patient was leaving, Edward had followed them to the door, waving goodbye as he shut the door and flipped the open sign to 'back in half an hour'.

"Have you got lunch with you?"

Bella looked up from the computer and nodded. "Yeah, in my bag."

"Okay, when you've finished what you're doing, come into my office. I'd like to talk to you about some things over lunch if you don't mind?"

The look on Bella's face almost made him feel sorry for her. It was as if he'd asked her to swallow glass.

"You don't have to if you don't want to…" But please say yes. He said to himself.

She stared at him for a heartbeat, clearly weighing up her decision.

Just as he was about to tell her to forget about it, she nodded her head quickly.

"Okay, I'll be there in a bit."

Back in his office, he placed her bag on the chair opposite him, before rushing into the kitchen to grab his own lunch and pour them both a cup of coffee, making sure to add enough sugar for Bella.

As he was placing her coffee on his desk, Bella quietly walked into the office biting her lip. He was making her nervous.

"Coffee." He nodded to the cup and moved around to his chair.

Reaching for her cup, she took a tentative sip and smiled.

"Thank you for remembering how I take it." She said shyly.

"Yeah, well, there are a lot of things I remember." He shrugged.

"And some you don't." She shot back.

Edward chewed on his lip and nodded. It was only a matter of time before this was brought up. Bella had hinted at it during their argument on the beach the other day.

"Some I didn't. I do know, now."

Edward sat back at watched as Bella's eyes widened in shock.

"You remember?" she whispered, her eyes were already filling with tears in anticipation. The memories still so painful all those years later.

"I remembered after you left, but you refused to talk to me, to listen to anything I had to say, so I just… let you be."

"And?"

Edward sighed heavily.

"Will it make any difference?" He wanted her to say that it did make all the difference, that every hurtful awful thing they had said and done to each other could be undone with just his words.

He watched her as she decided, his heart sinking when she shook her head.

"No. I don't think so." She said quietly. "I don't know."

"I knew you would say that."

"Well, why did you ask?" she said crossly.

"I guess I was hoping after all these years, it would be a little different."

Edward picked up his coffee and took a sip, now no longer hungry for his turkey and salad sandwich.

They picked at the rest of their lunch in silence, Edward waiting for Bella to ask what he knew had happened ten years ago. She didn't ask and when their half an hour was up, she took his half eaten sandwich and empty coffee cup and took it into the kitchen.

As she headed back into reception, she paused at his door hesitantly.

"I don't need to know. Not anymore."

Edward knew that wasn't true, but she was protecting herself, so he allowed her to lie.

"Sure. If you ever change your mind…"

She nodded once and turned quickly into reception.

The rest of the afternoon went much faster than the morning due to a few walk-in appointments and a frantic Mrs Jones who had that week discovered Google on her brand new iPhone her grandson had given her. After looking up symptoms she believed she had, she'd convinced herself she had brain cancer and had an anxiety attack in the middle of her hair appointment.

Half an hour on some oxygen, a cup of tea and Edward assuring her that she did not have brain cancer, she felt much better and was ready to talk Bella's ear off for the rest of the afternoon.

It made Edward smile at Bella's patience for the older woman, who made it her life goal to know every bit of gossip she could get her arthritic hands on.

In between his patients, he listened to Bella tell Mrs Jones about Max and Violet, her life before moving back to Pepper's Bay and of course, dodge all questions about Jacob.

Edward couldn't decide if he was happy she was dodging the questions or not. On one hand, he was desperate to know more about the man that Bella had married, but at the same time, the stabbing pain in his chest every time Jacob's name was mentioned, was proof to Edward that he didn't really want to know at all.

When Mrs Jones had exclaimed loudly that she was missing Young and the Restless and rushed out of the clinic, he heard Bella let out a sigh of relief causing Edward to chuckle loudly.

"She's missed you," Edward called out loudly enough for Bella to hear in reception.

"She's a busy body," Bella replied. "Hey, did you know that Seth and Leah aren't talking at the moment?"

Edward rolled his eyes at the gossip about their old school friends.

"I did. Seth sometimes meets me for a surf in the mornings."

"I'm meeting Leah for a drink this weekend." Bella's voice got louder as she left the reception to stand in his doorway. "Do you think everyone knows what happened to me? Why I'm back?" she asked nervously.

Edward was tempted to lie.

"Yeah Bella, everyone knows." The truth hurt her, he could see that, but it was better coming from him, then someone else bailing her up in the grocery store and asking questions Bella wasn't prepared for.

"I knew I hated this place for a reason." She said with a scowl. "Bunch of small town busy-bodies with nothing better to do with their time."

"Says the woman who just asked me if I knew that Seth and Leah weren't talking," Edward said with amusement.

Bella scrunched up her face when she realised she had been caught out.

"But that's different."

"How?" Edward raised his eyebrow.

"Well, I'm not gossiping, I'm asking you. You're different." Her cheeks blushed a nice shade of pink and Edward couldn't help poking fun at her.

"How am I any different to Mrs Jones or Sue?"

"You were my boyfriend. We have a weird thing going on. I'm allowed to gossip with you."

Edward raised both his eyebrows this time and smirked.

"And you're a doctor. You have doctor-patient confidentiality." She said with a nod to her head.

"Well, normally yes, I agree, but as far as I'm aware, I'm not your Doctor."

"Yeah, not at the moment, but I'm sure when I come down with some flu thing and I have to get antibiotics or something, you'll be the one to provide me with them, so that makes whatever I say to you private and confidential." She nodded her head as if she was agreeing with herself.

"Whatever you say, Bella," Edward smirked at her.

"Good."

She turned to go back to reception. When he knew she had made it to her desk he called her line and waited for her to answer.

"What?" she said impatiently. "You could have just called out to me. No one is here."

"I know, I just wanted to tell you that Leah called Seth the other day and asked if he could meet her at their mom's house next week."

Bella let out a squeal at learning new gossip before Mrs Jones.

Edward hung up the phone roaring with laughter.

Some things never changed.

Bella still loved a gossip and Edward was still very much in love with her.


	9. Chapter 9

After an emotional morning and busy first day, all Bella wanted to do was go home, have a long bath and an early night. With a dilapidated house needing her energy and two demanding children she knew that she had more chance of winning the lottery than getting a bath and some piece and quiet.

Instead, she'd collected Max and Violet from daycare, fed them leftover spaghetti from the night before, read Dear Zoo three times and then tucked her small children in bed, before getting in her car with Hamish at her side and driving the short distance to her house for a little bit of evening demolition.

Her dad had spoken to her that afternoon apologising that he was going to be super busy in the coming weeks and wouldn't be able to help her as much as he would have liked. At first, she was disappointed. She needed Charlie to help her do the house, she didn't know the difference between a flat head and a phillips head screwdriver for crying out loud and the closest that Bella ever got to DIY was building an Ikea bookshelf one time, and that had taken an entire bottle of red wine, a screaming fight with Jacob and a call to the Ikea helpline. But after thinking about it, Bella thought that tackling most of the renovations herself would be a good lesson in standing up for herself and learning to stand on her own two feet. Even if she preferred her feet cased in beautiful Manolo Blahnik's instead of work boots. Besides, YouTube could teach her everything she needed to know surely?

The sun was setting and the sound of the waves roaring on the beach behind her, had Bella looking forward to the end result. Maybe she could buy some comfortable chairs and put them on the veranda. She could sit out here in the evening and watch the sunset over the ocean with a glass of wine. It would be bliss.

Looking at the peeling paint and cracked boards, she sighed at the realisation it was going to be a while before she could enjoy that.

She could faintly hear the TV on in Edward's house, which meant he must have been home and the windows open.

Bella wondered how long they'd be able to live next door and work with each other before someone murdered the other. After the argument that morning, Bella thought it wouldn't be too long.

Edward was demanding and bossy and so present in her life, that she hated him as much as she once loved him. From the age of 19, almost everything she'd done, she'd done because of or in spite of Edward.

She married Jake knowing it would hurt Edward. It hurt her too, but she wanted to desperately move on. If Charlie and Carlisle hadn't of interrupted them on the balcony the night of her wedding, she would have run with him. And God knows what would have become of them.

When she gave birth to Max, the second thought that went through her mind, after how amazing and wonderful her baby Max was, was how sad she was that she didn't get to experience this feeling with Edward. She ran to the city because that was the opposite direction that he was in. She avoided talking to her brother for fear of hearing any news of Edward and she refused to go and visit her parents if she knew he would be there. So, Christmas's, her brother's birthday, her dad's 50th… she didn't want to be near the man who had the power to build her up and then destroy her in a heartbeat.

If she was brutally honest, she thought of him when her husband rolled on top of her late at night and rutted against her, panting heavily in her ear and slobbering all over her. She would close her eyes and think of Edward. How he used to hold her close and whisper all the things he loved about her in her ear as he made love to her. Then, when Jacob gave up trying to have sex with her and stopped coming home, Bella would think about Edward while she took care of herself.

She'd die before she'd admit any of that to him or anyone else though. Those were her secrets and guilt to bear.

So yes, while Jacob cheated, Bella supposed she was just as bad, if not worse. She knew she loved another man when she married Jacob Black and she got her karma when Jacob cheated and left her for Victoria.

"You'll get more work done if you actually go into the house, instead of standing outside it, you know that right?"

Bella slumped her shoulders. It was as if thinking about Edward had conjured him.

"What do you want?" she snapped as she glared at Hamish, who was wriggling his stupid dumb body in delight to see Edward. Traitor.

"Thought I could help." He shrugged.

"You'd help me a great deal by going away." She sniffed and pushed past him towards the house.

"Ouch." From the corner of her eye, she watched him bring his hand up to his heart and clutch it as if she'd speared him. Perhaps she did.

"Good night, Edward."

Opening the door to the house she exhaled in exhaustion. There was still so much to do.

The carpets had been removed leaving the old floorboards exposed. Some of them would have to be replaced, but most of them seemed to be in good nick, apart from the fact that they needed a tonne of elbow grease and varnishing before they'd be somewhat presentable. Over the weekend, they'd managed to pull off some of the hideous panelling and wallpaper but she'd need to do the rest before she looked at the walls and started deciding on paint colours.

It was overwhelming how much needed to be done.

"Come on. I'll clear out the kitchen. Emmett told me he'd smashed the shit out of the cabinets."

Edward stomped up the stairs and pushed his way past. Bella opened her mouth to protest but gave up. She needed the help and he was the only one offering.

Deciding to work as far away from Edward as she could get, she took herself down to the other end of the house, towards the bathroom.

Emmett had obviously been through the house during the day as the tiles had all been ripped off the bathroom door and some of his tools were left lying around.

Leaning against the wall where the old maroon sink used to be was a beautiful white vanity sink with deep drawers under the porcelain sink. Emmett had stuck some painters tape on top and in his big blocky handwriting instructed 'drill into wall around pipe'.

This looked easy enough, Bella picked up the electric drill that was resting on top of the toilet cistern and pressed the trigger a few times, feeling a childish thrill at the sound of the drill rotating.

"DIY Bella" she muttered under her breath and searched around for some screws.

Assuming that Emmet had placed the vanity where it needed to go, Bella lined up the screw into the holder thingy (a completely technical term) and pressed her finger down on the trigger. The screw went in nice and easy her first attempt without her drilling her finger to the wall or something equally horrific.

"This is easy," If everything else in her life went as easy as drilling that screw into the wall, everything was going to be fine.

Feeling confident, Bella lined up another screw and attempted to drill through the wall for the second time. This time, instead of the drill doing what she expected, she felt it kick back and an awful grinding sound came from the wall. She pushed harder on the drill, trying to force the screw through whatever it was having trouble attaching itself to. "Come on you fucker," she whispered under her breath, feeling foolish for being so confident only moments ago. When the screw refused to go any further, she thought that perhaps there was something wrong with the screw and she should try another one.

Shrugging her shoulders, she flipped the switch to reverse the drill rotation and attempted to remove the screw from the wall. With a little resistance, the screw started to slowly unwind.

Before she realised what was happening, a loud groaning sound came from behind the wall, an odd hiss and before she had the thought to move away, a massive jet of water spewed out of the wall into her face.

Dropping the drill, she let out a loud scream and pushed herself away as fast as she could, tripping over Emmett's tools and hitting her head on the wall behind her.

Water continued to violently erupt, quickly filling the bathroom with water.

As Bella struggled desperately to get to her feet, Edward came rushing down the hallway towards her, his eyes wide with panic.

"What the fuck did you do?" he bellowed as he stepped into the bathroom, almost slipping on the tiles as he did so.

"I didn't do anything." She shouted.

"So, the wall just starts flooding water by itself did it?" He kicked the drill and other tools away, clearing the way to get closer to the gushing water. "Shit Bella, you've drilled through your water pipe. Why would you do that?"

Bella felt her face flame. "Well, how was I supposed to know. Can you fix it?"

Edward scowled over at her and put his hand over the flow of the water. Instead of flowing in one stream, his hand caused water to spray in all different directions soaking both of them with freezing cold water.

Bella shrieked loudly and tried to back up away from the spray, slipping again and knocking her elbow.

"Ouch!"

"Be careful" Edward snapped. "The last thing we need is for you to hurt yourself." Slowly getting to his feet, Edward moved his hand away from the wall, groaning out loud when a good part of the drywall crumbled away exposing the pipes behind the wall.

From across the room, Bella could see the screw had caused the old pipe to split.

"Oh shit," Bella whispered.

"Oh shit indeed," Edward replied. "We're going to have to shut off the water. Carefully move out of the way please."

Bella shuffled backwards on her butt, not wanting to attempt to get to her feet on the slippery tiles. The water now soaking into her jeans, as if she was sitting in a shallow bath.

"Why are the tiles so slippery?" she muttered under her breath. She'd never let the kids have a bath ever again for fear of them slipping and cracking their heads open.

Edward made it out into the hall without falling on his ass, then took off as fast as he could to the front of the house.

Bella waited a couple of minutes hoping that Edward could find the water switch. Water was up to her ankles now and fast flooding out into the hallway. Suddenly, the pipes shuddered and Bella was relieved to see the water start to slow down, becoming a trickle.

Edward stomped loudly into the house cursing loudly.

"That was so dangerous Bella, you're so lucky you didn't electrocute yourself."

"How was I to know there was a great big water pipe behind that wall?" she argued back.

Edward's face went red and his eyes bulged. "It's a bathroom Bella, where do you think the pipes would be?"

Trying to will away the tears that were threatening to spill, Bella looked away feeling embarrassed.

"I thought that's where Emmett wanted me to put the vanity." She pointed to the now soaked bathroom.

It had been a long day and Bella was fighting the urge to throw herself down on the ground and have a good cry like her children would when they were tired and things weren't going their way.

Edward rubbed the back of his neck and looked to the ground as if he was trying to rein in his irritation.

"I'm going to call your brother. I think he has one of those water vacs we can use." He pulled his iPhone out of his pocket and scowled at her when he realised his phone was wet.

Bella went to open her mouth to apologise but was stopped by Edward holding his hand over her mouth.

"I think right now, we should just go to my house where I will call Emmett and you can get changed into some dry clothes." He glanced down quickly at her t-shirt, raising his eyes back to hers, his green eyes now almost black.

Bella looked down and saw that the white tank top she had thrown on before she left her parent's house was now very see through.

"Shit." She quickly covered her chest and turned quickly, racing down the hallway out outside. Edward chuckled quietly behind her.

"I have seen it all before you know." His voice a little huskier than normal

"Fuck off Edward." She snipped.

Edward laughed and followed her down the porch steps.

Edwards house wasn't anything like she thought it would be. The outside looked very similar to her own, but obviously in better condition. His surfboard was leaning against the house, a beach towel hanging over the railings from his morning swim.

Inside, it was the same layout, the entrance opening to a long hallway towards the end of the house, living room to the left, dining room to the right, opening up to a large kitchen and family room. The decor was masculine, but not overwhelmingly so. He had the obligatory massive television mounted on the wall, a large navy L-shaped lounge that looked soft and comfortable. She was surprised to see he had a few different guitars mounted on walls or leaning in corners around the place and his father's piano stood proudly in the place of a dining table.

It was, Bella realised, the first time she had ever entered an adult Edward's home. Not his parent's house that they snuck in and out of as teenagers, not the shared apartment he had with his university friends that smelt like wet socks and spilt beer.

"Come with me, I'll find you something to put on and then I'll call your brother."

Edward put his hand on the small of her back and gently guided her down the hallway and into the master bedroom.

As he was about to bring her into his bedroom, Bella stepped out of Edward's reach, not wanting to enter. It was too much, seeing his bedroom, the sheets that he slept on… She didn't want to know if Edward still refused to make the bed or if he'd grown up and remembered to pull the covers up in the morning.

Edward, realising that she didn't want to enter nodded his head and held up a finger to her.

"Be two seconds."

Bella nodded and examined a black and white photo of Esme and Carlisle that had been taken at the beach while she waited. Realising there were other photos on the wall, Bella walked quietly down the hall looking at the others. Some were of Edward and she assumed University friends, one of Carlisle and Edward on a fishing boat, Emmett and Edward with a beer in their hands throwing their heads back in laughter and the last one, a picture that she had once taken herself.

They were in their spot on the beach, sun shining down on them, she was 18 and sunburned slightly across her nose, Edward was wearing the sunglasses she had bought him for his birthday, both grinning widely, their arms flung around each other as Bella held the camera out and snapped the picture.

"That was on my birthday," Edward said quietly behind her.

"I remember." She said softly.

Edward cleared his throat. "Here. Put these on, the pants have a drawstring, so they should fit."

He handed her a pile of folded clothes and a fresh towel.

"You can have a quick shower if you like, the bathroom is down there." He pointed down the hall and stepped away. "I'll call Emmett."

Emmett sped up Edward's driveway and slammed on his breaks kicking up gravel. The woman sitting in the front seat of his truck turned and glared at him as she was flung forward with his erratic parking.

Before Bella could make her way down the stairs to greet her big brother, Emmett was out of the car and already yelling at her.

"Of all the stupid, idiotic things you could do Bella, you had to go and flood your house. You haven't even been there a week!" he shrieked at her. For such a huge man, Emmett could shriek like no other.

"Don't yell at me. I didn't do it on purpose," Bella put her hands on her hips, feeling defensive.

"Why did you think you could do that anyway? What gave you the idea to try and install a fucking bathroom vanity yourself Bels?" Emmett huffed.

"YOU LEFT ME A NOTE" She yelled back at him.

Emmett looked confused for a second, looking over at Edward expecting him to give him an answer.

The thing that Bella loved most about her big brother was how open his face was. Whatever he was feeling or thinking, it was normally as clear as day on his face. She watched him go from confused to understanding in a matter of seconds.

"That was left for Dad, Bells. Not you. Do you even know how to use a drill?" He scrunched up his face as if the thought of his baby sister handling a drill was the weirdest thing ever.

"Well, I have now." She huffed.

"And that will be the last time that you do too." Said Emmett crossly.

Bella rolled her eyes at her brother. "So, are you going to introduce me to your friend, or ignore her completely?" She nodded her head to the pretty blond still sitting in Emmett's truck.

Emmett's eyes widened as he remembered. "Rose, come here and meet my baby sister." Emmett bellowed in the direction of the car.

The pretty blond rolled her eyes at Emmett and hopped out of the truck gracefully. Bella was envious at how easily she made it look. Normally when Bella had to get out of Emmett's truck, she fell out, either her arms or her leg getting caught in the seatbelt and not prepared for how high above the ground she was.

"Bella, this is Rose, my girlfriend," Emmett said proudly, putting his arm around Rose's shoulders.

Edward and Bella looked at each other in shock. Emmett was a flirt and had never introduced his girlfriends to his family, saying he'd never met anyone he liked enough to bring home.

"Hi, I'm sorry we interrupted your evening." Bella held her hand out towards Rose and smiled warmly.

"It was no problem, we were just hanging out at home anyway." Rose blushed prettily.

Standing there, Emmett and Rose made a stunning looking couple. Alice was going to wet herself when she found out Bella had met Em's new girlfriend before her.

Before Bella could strike up a conversation with her brother's new girlfriend, Emmett interrupted with a loud clearing of his throat.

"Why were you at Bella's?" He asked Edward.

"I was over helping out." Edward shrugged and stepped away from Bella.

"Helping out with what? I thought you guys didn't like each other anymore." Emmett looked between the two of them.

Bella felt her face flush. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Something was weird with the two of you. Now you're best friends again?" He said it with a frown, not looking like he was too happy with the idea of his little sister and best friend being friendly again.

Sensing Emmett was going to start asking questions neither herself or Edward were willing to get into, Bella crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at her brother.

"Em, I'm 30. I can decide who I hang out with all by myself thank you very much. Now, can you fix my flooding house or do I need to call dad? I'm sure Mom and Dad would love to meet Rose."

Emmett held his hands up in surrender. "I was just asking. It's cool. Hang out with Edward if you want."

Rose snorted at Emmett who grinned widely at her.

Edward shook his head at his cowardly friend. "Yeah yeah, come on, let us get this cleaned up so Bella can get home to her kids."

When Emmett turned to his truck to grab his supplies Edward gave Bella a wink and a smirk.

A.N

Thank you so much for reading so far, I'm loving all your reviews, thank you for taking the time to read!

Hold on guys, we're about to get some answers...


	10. Chapter 10

The look on Emmett's face when he saw the screw stuck in the water pipe was one of impressed shock.

"Only you could do something like this Bells." He had muttered to his sister and shook his head in disbelief.

Edward thought that it was a good thing that most of Bella's furniture was shoved into the front living room away from the renovations, saving her items from being water damaged.

Emmett had forbidden Bella from going near the bathroom again, or from ever touching his tools, leaving the cleanup duty to Edward and Emmett, while the girls got to know each other over at Edward's house.

"So, you wanna talk to me about anything?" Emmett wrung out a mop into a bucket and raised an eyebrow at Edward.

Edward felt a little nervous at what his best friend was asking. He hated lying, knowing that whenever Emmett did find out about Edward and Bella's relationship, it was going to hurt Emmett deeply.

"Like?"

"Why didn't you tell Bella that you were going to be working with her?"

"I thought she knew." Lies. More lies.

Emmett stopped mopping and leant on the pole, a serious look on his face.

"One of these days, you're going to have to tell me the truth about all of this shit going on between my sister and you."

Not wanting to lie anymore, Edward nodded his head, avoiding eye contact.

"Good. And when I punch your lights out, you'll know that I'm doing it from a place of love, you hear?"

Edward swallowed heavily and nodded again. "I know."

Emmett studied Edward hard, before turning back to soaking up more water and wringing it into a bucket.

Bella and Rose had gone down to pick up some pizza's and were waiting on Edward's sofa when Edward and Emmett walked into the house, a little damp and hungry.

Edward quickly changed into some sweats before throwing himself down next to Bella.

Putting his feet up on the table, he reached over to her plate and grabbed a slice of pizza and shoved it in his mouth before she could say anything. Giving her a cheesy grin he turned back to Emmett and Rose listening to the two of them bicker over their weekend plans.

"Never thought I'd see the day when Em was making weekend plans with a girl," Bella said softly.

"I know. We need to talk." He said quietly back, hoping that Emmett couldn't hear.

"I know."

Bella made herself busy in the kitchen when Emmett and Rose made moves to leave.

"You want a lift home little sister?" Emmett called out.

Edward looked over his shoulder and saw Bella shake her head. "No, my car is next door, I'll just finish up doing the dishes for Edward and I'll be on my way home too."

Em nodded okay and punched Edward on the shoulder as he walked by. "Talk soon." He warned.

"What was that about?" Bella asked as she dried her hands on kitchen towel.

Edward walked into the kitchen and pulled a beer our of the fridge holding one out to Bella. She took it and used his t-shirt to open the bottle top, showing a little bit of skin.

Averting his eyes to his own beer, he shrugged. "He thinks he knows something."

Bella gulped loudly, eyes widening in panic. "What something?"

He shrugged. "Not sure. He did say that we would talk about it later on, and when he punched my lights out it was coming from a place of love."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that sounds like something Emmett would say."

"He was bound to find out at some point. I'm surprised the town gossips never got to him."

"He asked me once, you know." Bella started to peel the label off her beer bottle.

"What did you say?"

Bella shrugged. "The truth. That I loved you since you were 5." She smiled. "He rolled his eyes at me and said that everyone already knew that."

"Well, you did use to tell anyone who would listen that you were going to marry me when we got older." Edward smiled at the memory.

Little Bella with her crazy dark hair and smattering of freckles over her nose, crying one morning because she wanted to take Edward as her show and tell. She wanted to tell everyone they were going to get married and live in a castle with four dogs.

"I was three."

"There is still time Isabella." Edward wiggled his eyebrows at her, laughing when she rolled her eyes and blushed.

"And on that note, I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Do you think we'll have a day without a fight tomorrow?" Edward smirked.

"Don't be stupid Edward." Bella waved over her shoulder and let herself out. Edward moved to the window and watched her as she walked down the driveway and over into her front yard.

Not quite ready for bed, Edward grabbed another beer and took it out on his front porch. The tide was in the sound of the ocean pushing and pulling relaxing him.

It frustrated him that Bella didn't want to talk about what Edward now remembered, knowing that she could maybe find some peace.

At 22, Med school was kicking his ass. Edward was struggling to find a balance between the long hours on rotation, trying not to fuck up and ruin his career, keep up with his friends and make time to spend with Bella. She said she understood, but he felt bad when he didn't get home for the weekend, or when he did manage to get away, he was so tired he slept most of the weekend away.

His friends, they made it hard, not understanding how much he loved Bella, ridiculing him for staying at home instead of going out to clubs when they could, looking for a casual one night stand. Who wanted to settle down so young?

He also understood that it was really hard on Bella, knowing she was at home, while her boyfriend was in another city, surrounded by attractive young women, alcohol and friends who didn't understand their commitment. It only made him love her more when she pushed her insecurities aside and pushed Edward to try and enjoy his experience as much as he could… "as long as no skank tries to put their hands on you. Then I'll come up there and cut a bitch."

He used to whisper into her ear "three more years" every time he had to leave her. Bella telling him how many days exactly until he was done and could move back home.

This, of course, didn't mean they didn't have huge raging fights over missed phone calls, or frustration at being separated and even jealousy. Edward's friend Irina was a huge trigger for Bella, jealous that Irina would sometimes flirt with Edward in front of Bella when she was visiting. She didn't like how familiar Irina was with Edward and worried that if she was behaving that way in front of Bella, what was she like when Bella was at home.

Edward found the whole thing baffling. While yes, as a male, he could appreciate Irina's looks. She was tall, blond and very good looking, but to him, no one could ever compare to his Bella. He was in love with Bella. Everyone else was invisible.

The weekend that broke Edward and Bella started off badly.

Edward was asked to switch shifts by his boss and didn't feel like he could say no, so he made the dreaded call to Bella cancelling their weekend.

She cried, it had been two weeks since they had seen each other and two weeks before that and that weekend had been a disaster as Emmett had also come home and of course, wanted to spend time with his best friend.

"Why does it always have to be you, Edward?" Bella had sobbed down the phone.

"It's not always me, baby, you know that. You knew this would be hard." He tried to soothe her as much as he could down the phone, feeling terrible. He felt her absence greatly too. Many nights he'd had to stop himself from throwing it all away and driving home to Bella.

"Yeah, but I had things planned. I need you. Ems went away, and Alice and Jasper have moved out and now I'm all alone and I just wanted to see you." He listened to her sniffle down the phone as he made shushing sounds.

"How many more sleeps?"

He heard Bella snort down the phone. "Too fucking many." If he closed his eyes, he could almost see Bella rolling her eyes at him.

He hung up feeling sick, hating he was so far away when his girlfriend was having a hard time.

Edward walked into his apartment close to midnight, pissed off that his boss had fucked him around. The double shift he was supposed to take, the double that Edward had cancelled his weekend with his girlfriend for, had been a miscommunication and Edward wasn't needed. Making his bad mood even worse, his roommate had decided to throw a spur of the moment party. Normally Edward didn't care, he'd hang out for a bit and then retreat into his bedroom to do some work, or sit on the phone to Bella for a while.

"Yo Eddie" Mike yelled out to Edward from the balcony.

Of all the people that Edward had to share an apartment with, he got the biggest douche on the planet. Edward had agreed to move in with Mike when they first moved to the city. Mike was also in med school, wanting to major in gynaecology. He said he liked the idea of being "elbow deep in pussy, in my professional and personal life."

Bella hated him with a passion and the feeling was mutual. Mike wanted Edward "single and ready to mingle" (again, his words) so they could go out and meet women together. Bella had snarked that Mike wanted all of Edward's hand-me-downs.

"I thought you were working a double, dude?" Mike was drunk, his baseball cap on sideways, his gut hanging over his jeans.

"Yeah, mix up at the hospital. I was supposed to be going home to see Bella this weekend. I think I'll grab a change of clothes and drive down now. Surprise her in the morning."

"Dude. Don't do that, why don't you hang out with us for a change. Drive down in the morning or something." Mike took a swig of his drink and belched loudly.

"Come on man, Kate and Irina are here…" Edward wanted to roll his eyes. Irina and her best friend Kate were okay, but they weren't his Bella.

Hearing her name being called, Irina pushed through the crowd to Edward's side.

"Hey, you." She battered her eyelashes. This time Edward did roll his eyes.

"Irina."

"Come and have one drink with us. I want to know how you went on your rotation with Dr Gregg."

He held his finger up to her. "One drink. I'm driving down to see Bella after."

Irina grinned and led him over to the sofa in the corner, handing him a drink.

The next thing Edward knew, he was waking up feeling a warm naked body pressed to his side and Bella standing in his bedroom doorway with her overnight bag hanging off her shoulders, the look of utter betrayal forever etched in his memory.

Irina stretched her very naked body alongside his and giggled. She fucking giggled.

Bella dropped her bag and ran, knocking into Mike as she went.

"What the fuck happened. Irina, tell me now. What the fuck happened." Edward begged.

His mind was racing a million miles an hour, trying to piece the night together. He remembered Bella being upset when he told her he couldn't come home for the weekend. He remembered being sent home by his boss early and he remembered coming home and Mike was wearing his hat on sideways and acting like a dick. After that, nothing.

Nothing.

"You can't remember Eddie?" Mike leant against his doorway, enjoying the show. "That's a shame. I'd want to remember waking up with Irina in my bed."

A violent need to vomit overcame him, only just making it to the bathroom in time.

He inspected his body for any suspicious marks or scratches, not finding any. His face looked pale and sickly, his hair its usual mess.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, what have I done?" he grabbed his hair and tugged in frustration.

"Fucking remember!" he urged himself, but there was nothing.

Stumbling back into his bedroom Irina was now sitting in bed, covering her naked body with a blanket.

"What did we do Irina? I need to know."

She shrugged her shoulders.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID WE DO?" Edward screamed, for the first time in his life, feeling dangerously close to throttling a woman.

"Figure it out, Edward." She snapped and started looking around for her clothes.

Mike was still leaning against his doorway shaking his head. "Woooooooo Boy. You're in some trouble."

Edward threw on some jeans and a t-shirt before he started throwing things into his overnight bag, feeling sicker by the second.

Not waiting to listen to anything Mike or Irina had to say, he grabbed both his bag and Bella's and raced out of his apartment, frantically hoping that Bella would be waiting by her car for a reasonable explanation.

Not that he had any.

He drove home, tears clouding his vision for most of the drive and having to stop every so often to wretch on the side of the road.

He didn't bother going to his parent's house, instead, turning into Bella's street and pulling up behind her car.

Charlie met him on the porch, looking worried.

"What the heck is going on?"

"Chief, where is she?"

"Not here son, she took off for the beach. What happened? Are you okay?"

Swallowing an anguished cry, Edward shook his head.

"No."

Before Charlie could respond, Edward got back in his car and drove further up the road so he could get to Bella faster.

He was so desperate to get to her, he left the car running, the driver's side door open as he ran down the beach towards Bella.

She was sitting in their spot, knees pulled into her chest as she cried. Her sobs carrying over the wind.

"Bella, Bella, my Bella, I don't remember. I'm so sorry. I don't remember."

"Stop lying." She screamed, mascara dripping down her face, cheeks red but the rest of her beautiful face pale.

"I'm not, baby, I swear to God, I don't remember." He was pleading with her, desperate for her to listen.

"I'm not going to be one of those girls, Edward. I refuse to be that girl." She hugged her stomach and cried.

"I'm so fucking sorry." Edward wiping his tears away from his face. "Please, please please Bella." He wrapped his arms around her shaking body and pulled her into his lap.

"Please tell me what you want me to do, please, I love you. I love you so fucking much."

She couldn't reply. She was crying too hard and it felt like Edward was going to break in two.

"We will be okay." He sobbed. He was crying now too, not holding back anymore. "We're going to be okay. You're going to marry me. I'll drop out, I'll find something else to do, I love you, I'm so fucking sorry Bella. Please."

He felt her shake her head under his head and it was like a bucket of icy cold water was thrown over him.

"We can't. You can't. You have to finish." Her voice was dull and lifeless.

"What are you saying, Bella?" Edward held her to his chest tighter, feeling her hands clenching his t-shirt.

"You can't drop out. You've got three years left."

Edward shook his head. "No. I'm not going back without you. Come back with me if you have to. We can get a place somewhere. Just the two of us. There isn't any point in doing this without you baby. Please."

"No."

She released his t-shirt from her death grip and pushed out of his arms.

"Go." She whispered. Over the crashing waves, Edward could hardly hear her.

"No." He shook his head violently. "No. Please Bella, My Bella, I'm so fucking sorry."

"I know you are." New tears were running down her face as she hugged her stomach as if she was holding herself together.

"I don't remember. Please, I don't remember."

"I don't care." She snapped. "I don't fucking care Edward. I told you she wanted you, I told you she couldn't be trusted, I just never thought I couldn't trust you either."

Edward wanted to be angry at Bella for her lack of faith in him, but he couldn't be sure either.

Before he could try and say anything else, Bella took off towards her house.

Instead of going after her, he put his head in his hands and he cried.

Two weeks later Bella left Pepper's Bay and Edward behind.

Edward went back to med school after Esme and Carlisle sat him down and told him to wise up. Heartbreak was not a good enough reason to throw away your life's aspirations.

He wanted to tell them that it was all for nothing without Bella beside him.

It took months of begging Irina to tell him what had or hadn't happened. In the end, Kate told him, taking pity on him.

He tried to contact Bella after he knew for sure what had happened, but she had changed her number and Charlie refused to hand her new number over to him.

"If she wants to hear from you, she'll let me know and I'll let you know, son."

Figuring if she wanted to hear from him, she could contact him herself, Edward attempted to move on.

He thought he was doing a good job of that until he got the wedding invitation.

It took six months to get over trying to let her go on that balcony during her wedding day and just as he thought he could breathe again without it feeling like his heart was cracking open, he ran into her at Christmas.

He didn't know she was coming home, if he had, he would have made his excuses to his parents and worked through the holiday instead.

That reunion hurt the most and Edward still couldn't think about it without feeling physical pain.


	11. Chapter 11

"Violet, Mommy is going to be late." Bella looked at her watch for the third time in five minutes. It had been a long morning already and it was only eight-thirty.

"NOT GOING." Violet gave her mother a look of death, and crossed her chubby little arms over her shirt. Today she had dressed herself for war. Once again, she had stolen her big brother's t-shirt and was wearing it as a dress with a pair of camo tights. This time it was his hulk t-shirt and Bella had to bribe Max with an hour of Netflix time later not to argue with his sister about it.

"She doesn't even know who The Incredible Hulk is, Mommy," Max had argued.

"GREEN," Violet pointed to the shirt and glared at Max.

"Very good sweetheart. The Hulk is green." Bella tried to pick Violet up to put her in the car. Violet put her hands out in a stopping motion and started backing up.

"STOP IT, I DON'T LIKE IT."

Bella wanted to punch the person who taught Violet the 'stop it I don't like it' manoeuvre. She did it in the shopping mall when she didn't want to be put in the pram, she did it at the swimming pool when she didn't want to leave and evidently, she was going to do it today to try and get out of daycare.

"But you love daycare," Bella said with fake excitement. "It's fun."

"NOT" Violet stomped her foot and scrunched up her face.

Taking a deep breath, Bella counted to ten and picked her daughter up. Violet started screaming at the top of her lungs causing the other parents dropping their children into the daycare centre to look over and silently judge her parenting. Well, she couldn't be sure they were judging her, but it was likely.

"Mom, she's embarrassing me." Muttered Max darkly.

"You and me both" Bella said under her breath as she dodged a tiny fist. "Did you just try and punch me?" Bella asked her daughter.

Violet immediately stopped her tantrum and smiled innocently at her mother. "MAX DID IT."

Bella rolled her eyes at her son's incredulous look. "Don't tell lies, Violet."

By the time Bella had left a crying Violet and a mortified Max at daycare, she was officially ten-minutes late. Technically as it was a Wednesday she wouldn't normally be at work until the weekend, but it was her first week and Edward wanted Bella to accompany him on his home visits to his patients that lived too far away to make it into the clinic or weren't mobile.

Pulling into the carpark, Edward was leaning against his car, looking like a freaking GQ model in a navy shirt and a pair of jeans.

"Sorry, sorry sorry, Max was on the go-slow this morning and Violet has decided she hates daycare," rushed Bella, almost falling out of her car trying to get out.

"Careful," Edward put his hand out to help. "She's not liking it?"

"I'm fine." She brushed his hand away. "No. I'm sure she'll be okay."

Violet would be fine, she was a kid and kids adapted extremely well, it was just another adjustment, Bella told herself.

"You don't have to come along today if you don't want to? You can go and get Violet and have a girls day?"

Bella shook her head firmly. "No. It's okay."

"Are you sure? Really, It's no problem if you need to." He insisted.

"I said we will be fine." Bella snapped irritated that he was pushing. Would he be so understanding if it was someone else? Would Becky get special treatment? She didn't think so.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Suit yourself." He huffed. "Come on then. It's going to be a long morning. Your car or mine?"

Bella looked between her car and his. Neither was her preference. His car was the same car he drove them around in all those years ago. He once drove it onto the beach and made a bed in the back where they spent the night listening to the ocean and being bitten to death by sand midges. They had many good memories in that car and Bella did not wish to relive them all.

Her car, on the other hand, was like every other car that was owned by a Mom. It was filthy. Empty juice boxes, old toys that the kids had forgotten, a slight odour of sick and wet dog.

Looking over her shoulder through the window of Bella's car, Edward wrinkled his nose when he noticed the booger drawing that Violet had made. Bella felt her face flame with embarrassment.

"Mine it is."

Bella's shoulders dropped. "Fine."

Over an hour in the car later and Bella wished desperately she had taken Edward up on a day off with Violet. Sitting in a car all day with just Edward to talk to was going to be the death of her.

The first patient they were visiting lived an hour and a half away from town. Bella almost cried with self-pity when Edward explained that the first home visit was the closest. The drive home would take three hours. Six hours in the car with Edward who was trying his hardest to give Bella a nervous breakdown.

"Do you want to listen to music?" Edward had suggested the moment they left town.

"No." Bella looked out the window and tried to be interested in the passing scenery.

"Do you want to play a driving game?"

"What are you? Five?"

"We could play I, spy?"

"Sure." Bella rolled her eyes. "Eye spy with my little eye something beginning with I"

Edward took his eyes off the road and looked over at her.

"Bella." He warned.

"It's idiot. You're an idiot. No, I do not want to play 'I spy' with you." She said crossly.

"Okay, 20 questions?" He looked at her hopefully.

"Edward, is there anything you don't know about me?" Bella asked in exasperation.

"You can go first if you want? I'll answer anything." He bribed.

Bella slumped back in the seat and chewed her lip. This was a bad idea.

"Fine."

He grinned widely. "Excellent. Now for the rules."

Bella felt her stomach drop. Yup, bad idea.

"We can ask anything and we have to answer honestly." He raised his eyebrow at her, knowing she would want to lie about her answers. "We can have one veto. But only one, so use it wisely. Okay?"

Sulking, Bella shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever."

Edward drove quietly for a few minutes before Bella spoke up.

"What is something you want to do more of, but don't, and why?" She hated playing this kind of games. Bella knew that Edward would use this to his advantage and ask questions she wasn't ready to answer.

"Good first question," Edward answered. "I'd like to spend more time with Mom. She wasn't prepared to lose dad. Even after he was diagnosed as terminal and we knew he didn't have long left, she was in denial."

Bella loved Esme like a second mother. She felt terribly guilty for avoiding the older woman because of her fight with Edward.

"They loved each other very much." She said softly.

Edward glanced over at her, his face soft. "Yeah, I think they were true soulmates."

"If there was such a thing, yes." Agreed Bella. She knew that Edward thought there was such a thing. He'd told her every day for six years once that she was his.

"So, tell me why you don't spend more time with your mom."

"She makes me feel guilty," Edward said lowly. "I hate going to the house. All his things are still there."

"She's mourning, Edward," Bella said gently.

"Yeah, I know. But it fucking guts me when I walk in and see his coat still hanging up where he left it, or his desk with all his paperwork left everywhere. It's like a tomb."

"Maybe it comforts her?"

Edward shrugged. "Probably. I don't think us Cullen's are very good at moving on."

Bella watched him clench the steering wheel tightly.

"Sorry, Bella."

"It's okay. Your turn now. Ask me a question."

Edward cracked his neck and hummed thinking about his next question.

"Would you rather lose your sight or your hearing? And why?"

Bella snorted. "I was expecting something much worse than that."

Edward waggled his eyebrows at her. "Careful, you'll give me ideas."

"I'm going to get a migraine from rolling my eyes at you so much." She shrugged her shoulders as she thought of an answer. "Either would be heartbreaking I think. I couldn't imagine never being able to look at my children again, watch them grow, see them get married, have their own babies, grow old. But the thought of never hearing Violet yell in my ear how much she loves me, or listen to Max as he learns to read, or hear my family laughing and picking on each other, that's almost as bad."

"You have to pick."

"I guess I'd rather lose my hearing. At least then I could ignore you and blame it on my deafness."

Edward turned to her with wide eyes. "Did you just pick on me, Isabella Swan?"

She huffed. "Shut up."

Edward gave her a crooked grin and turned back to the road.

"We're here." He pointed over the steering wheel and turned onto a long drive. "Once a month I come out to check on Walter Bennett. He's seventy five and still works every day on the farm. This appointment isn't a formal check up. He would rather die than walk into my clinic and admit that there is something wrong, so as a favor to his wife Eileen, I pretend to visit on my way to see other patients."

That was such an Edward thing to do, Bella found it hard to hide her smile.

The Bennett's were a handsome couple, in excellent shape for people in their seventies. They found Mr Bennett mending a fence on their way up to the house. Edward pulled over and stuck his head out the window.

"Good morning Walter. I thought I'd come through and say hello and introduce you to Bella Swan, she's the new clinic manager. I would like her to meet you and Eileen." He explained.

Bella felt her face grow hot. Clinic manager? She was a receptionist for crying out loud. What was he talking about?

Poking him hard in the side she scowled over at him as Edward slowly drove down the drive towards a large white farm house.

"What the fuck was that?" she hissed.

"Ouch! What?" he rubbed his side and scowled back.

"I'm not the fucking Clinic Manager. Why lie?" she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Umm, yeah you are."

"No, I'm the receptionist, " Bella said slowly as if she was talking to a child.

Edward put his foot on the break and the car jerked to a stop.

"Did you even read your paperwork on Monday?"

Bella frowned. "Yes?" Okay, so not all of it…

"Clearly you didn't. I distinctly remember writing up your employment contact Isabella. Where under 'Job title' I named you Clinic Manager. I expect you to not only run the reception, but you're organising our files, inputting data, making the orders, bossing me around…"

"But-"

"No Buts. This is your job, Bella."

"I was only going to say that I've been bossing you around since I was three and I never got paid for it before. I'm annoyed."

Edward chuckled, the corner of his eyes crinkling.

They were interrupted by an older woman who Bella assumed was Mrs Bennett walking down the steps of the large wrap around porch to one of the most beautiful houses Bella had ever seen.

"Dr Cullen!" Mrs Bennett gushed, opening Edward's door and pulling him into a hug before he'd removed his seatbelt.

"Good morning Eileen," Edward chuckled. "Before the old man makes his way up here, anything I should know?"

Mrs Bennett lowered her voice and nodded her head. "Oh yes, he's been complaining of a bad back. I've told him so many times that he needs to slow down, but the stupid man just won't listen." She complained with a laugh.

"I'll have a quiet word," Edward promised. "Now, I wanted to introduce you to Bella Swan. She's the new Clinic Manager. I've brought her along with me to meet and greet. Next time you call the clinic, it will be Bella you'll talk to first." Edward smiled.

Stepping forward, Bella held her hand out. "H, Mrs Bennett. It's lovely to meet you." She was shocked when the woman pulled her in for a warm hug instead of shaking her hand. "You'll call me Eileen. It's so good to meet you properly. I think I know your father?"

Bella nodded. "He's the chief of police. Everyone knows my father." She said with a smile.

"Such a handsome young man. I used to teach him when he was a boy. You tell him I say Hi when you see him next, won't you."

"I certainly will, but only if you tell me a few stories about my dad when he was younger."

Eileen took Bella's arm and steered her to a wrought iron table and chairs on the front porch talking a mile a minute about all the naughty things Charlie got up to when he was a boy.

While they talked about the latest town gossip (it shocked Bella how much gossip Eileen had even though she lived an hour and a half away) Bella kept an eye on Edward, who casually lent against his car talking to Mr Bennett.

"What's the story there?" Eileen asked as she pointed her finger between Bella and Edward.

Bella felt herself blush as she shook her head. "No story." She lied.

"Hmm" Eileen's eyes were sparkling. "If you say so. But I say there is a story there. For another day perhaps?"

"Perhaps," Bella said with a smile.

Edward wrapped up his conversation with Mr Bennett and waved Bella over.

"We need to get on the road Bella or we'll be late."

Bella shook Mr Bennett's hand and gave Eileen a one armed hug. "It was lovely meeting you both. I look forward to chatting with you." She gave Eileen's slim shoulder a squeeze before getting into the car.

Edward waved out the window as they drove down the driveway. "Great couple aren't they?"

"Yeah, Eileen is a hoot. Did you know she used to teach Charlie when he was a kid?" she asked.

Edward nodded. "Yeah, she mentioned it once. She was Esme's teacher too. She told me once that she caught Esme and their daughter Emily skipping school to hang out with boys they had met on a weekend to the city. That was when she met my dad."

"I can't imagine your mom ever skipping school."

"I couldn't either. She was mortified when I asked her about it too, which was pretty hilarious."

After visiting two more patients, and stopping to pick up coffee and a pre-packaged sandwich from a gas stop they hit the highway.

Bella made herself more comfortable in her seat, glad that they dressed causally. Edward had warned her the day before she'd be doing a lot of sitting in the car, so Bella had dressed accordingly. Her dark blue toothpick jeans were comfortable and the pretty red blouse was made out of that magic material that never crinkled and didn't need ironing. Bella wished that all her clothes, and the children's clothes were made out of it.

"Your turn again." Edward reminded her of the 20 questions game he wanted to play.

"Ugh," she groaned. She always found these things so hard to come up with an original question. She loathed the 'where do you see yourself in 10 years time', or 'what would you do if you had a million dollars' questions just because they were so unoriginal.

"Alright, What are two things you did this week that you enjoyed and why?"

"Nice one." Edward gave her a lopsided smile. "I liked meeting your kids."

Bella bit her lip. "Why?"

"I thought that I'd feel weird." He glanced over at her quickly before putting his eyes back on the road. "I thought that it would hurt. Seeing them."

Bella understood. If Edward had children she was ashamed to say it would hurt her to see a child that he made with someone else.

"I was scared that they would look like you and Jacob. And that it would remind me what we used to have and how everything went so wrong." His voice got low and he shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

"I never planned to have children with anyone else but you. So, the idea, that there were two little people running around the world that are a part of you, but not a part of me…" he paused "It hurt." He touched his chest over his heart. "Here."

"But?" Bella asked quietly.

"But," he smiled "They are a part of you and I guess, the other part doesn't matter so much to me. I know I haven't spent much time with them, but I think they are awesome Bella. You have two beautiful children and you should be so proud of yourself for that."

She was going to cry.

There were so many 'could been's' in her life and Bella didn't know how to get past those feelings of disappointment. She wanted Edward there when she gave birth to Max, and when Violet was born days after she had seen Edward in the city, it took all of her stubborn willpower not to call him and beg him to come and get her.

"You know I lied to you that day in the city?"

"You did?" Edward's brows rose in confusion. "How?"

"I told you that Jacob was expecting me or he would be wondering where I was… or something like that," She smiled bitterly. "He wasn't home."

"What do you mean?"

Bella shrugged her shoulders. "He said he had a work trip that he couldn't get out of. Now, I know that he was with Victoria."

Edward kind of just collapsed into himself. "Oh, Bella."

"I had Violet two days after I saw you. Jacob was in China."

"But you had your mom right? She was there?" Edwards eyes were looking a little wild and went completely black when she shook her head no.

"No." She cleared her throat. "I um, I lied to them and said that he was home. I had to beg Jacob's mother to come and stay with Max when I went into labour."

"Bella"

"I had her by myself. Sixteen hours of labour." She turned to him with a twisted smile. "Natural too. I didn't want anything to take away the pain."

Edward pulled the car over to the side of the road and switched the car off.

"Why?"

She shrugged. "I don't know really. I guess I wanted to feel something other than how sad I was feeling. I was sad all the time."

Bella looked down and saw that Edward was holding her hand tightly. She didn't even realise he'd grabbed it in the first place. Or maybe she was the one who grabbed his?

"Sweetheart-"

"Please don't say anything Edward." She looked at him, begging him with her eyes.

"Okay." He whispered.

Edward started the car and pulled out back onto the highway.

He held her hand the whole way home, their game forgotten.

 **A.N**

 **Just the one chapter today.**

 **Thank you to everyone who has given me such kind reviews. A lot of you love Violet and I can't wait to write more of her.**

 **On another note, the awesome EdwardsFirstKiss is going to beta for Finding Bella. Thank you so much!**


	12. Chapter 12

Edward walked into his Mother's house feeling sick and dangerously close to violence.

He wanted to hurt Jacob like he'd never hurt anyone before.

Edward was not a violent man unless he was pushed, but this was different. He wanted to rip him apart, limb from limb.

What was Jacob thinking to leave Bella like that? Knowing she could give birth at any moment? She was alone with a two-year-old son. No support, no one to tell her it was going to be okay and no one she could trust. He was her husband for fuck's sake. Didn't Jacob know how precious that was?

Esme was in the kitchen icing an enormous batch of cupcakes in yellow icing when Edward stomped down the hall, tugging at his hair in anguish.

Looking up and seeing her son with a look of heartache on his face, she dropped the icing bag and quickly made her way over to him.

"Sweetheart, what's happened?" she took his hands in her smaller ones and held tightly.

"Mom, I fucked up really bad." He whispered.

Her eyebrows snapped together in disbelief. "I doubt that. Sit down, I'll make coffee."

His mom tugged on his arm, pulling him over to the kitchen table and forcing him down in a chair.

"Start talking baby." She squeezed his shoulder and then moved into the kitchen, busying herself with making coffee and putting a cupcake on a plate.

"That Fucker." Edward blurted out, his chest feeling tight. "Mom, he was screwing around on her while she was having her baby." He put his head in his hands. "She had her baby alone while he was fucking some woman in another country and she didn't tell anyone because of me." He shut his eyes trying to gain some control. "If I'd forced her to listen to me, or to stay that Christmas-"

Esme placed his drink and plate in front of him and sat opposite him. "Edward, you couldn't have forced Bella to do anything she didn't want to do sweetheart." Esme raised an eyebrow at her son. "We are talking about Bella aren't we?"

Edward gave a look to his mother. "Who else would I be talking about, mother?" he said in anguish. Edward never introduced his parents to another woman, let alone discussed anyone with them. They didn't talk about Bella either.

Esme would send little notes in the mail, presents for the children and of course, she was friends with Renee, who loved talking about Bella. Through all of that, Esme always stayed neutral and didn't pass any information to Edward knowing that it would be painful for her son.

"So, you're upset over something that happened to Bella over two years ago?" Esme took a sip of her coffee and sat back in her chair making herself comfortable.

Edward wasn't just upset. He was fucking gutted. "She was alone, mom."

"And why is it your fault that she didn't tell anyone?" Esme asked.

"I don't know mom!" Edward burst out. "But I feel like it's my fault. I thought that she was going to be happy with him. If I'd fought harder for her, instead of licking my wounds and sulking like a fucking child, maybe…"

"Maybe what? Would her life have been different? Sure. You guys might have worked it out, she'd have married you and you'd have your happily ever after?" She raised a brow " But she would have never had those children. Could you really take that away from her?"

Edward didn't have anything to say to that.

"How do you know that you'd even have your happily ever after Edward? Who is to say that you both wouldn't be divorced now anyway.

You aren't responsible for her husband's behaviour or Bella's reactions sweetheart. I know you are carrying guilt about whatever it was that happened between the two of you, and that's fine. If you want to carry that baggage around for the rest of your life, you go ahead and do that." Esme's mouth twitched at the look Edward gave her. 

"If she was my wife, I would have never done that to her. I'd have been by her side always. I know that with everything in me."

"But she isn't your wife sweetheart."

"No." He agreed with her. She wasn't. She willingly married someone else. In front of him. To hurt him? Maybe. He couldn't be angry with her for it anymore.

"She told me he made her happy. I stopped fighting because she told me he could make her happy. Did she lie? Did she hate me that much?"

"Edward, she's never hated you. Not even during the worst of it." Esme soothed.

"She must have. I hated me. Whatever happened, whatever she thought I did, or I thought I did and what I did and didn't do, Mom, I put us in that situation. I did that."

He clenched his jaw. He should have just punched that fucker in the face at the wedding.

"How do I fix this?" Edward held the cup of coffee in his hand.

"You don't honey."

Edward rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "I want to. Don't you understand?"

"I understand, but you can't fix something that was so broken. You just have to start again."

"If this was you and dad, what do you think he'd have done, mom?"

Esme smiled softly. "Probably what you're doing now, son. You're so much like your father sometimes it's almost painful." Her eyes swam with tears as she thought of Carlisle.

"I'm sorry, Mom."

"What for darling? You have nothing to be sorry for. I love that you're so much like your dad. He was an amazing man and I'm grateful every day that there is another part of him walking around, having a coffee with me." She smiled a watery smile at Edward.

"Your dad, he was a fixer too. That's why he became a doctor, you know? But you can't fix something that happened to Bella a long time ago. It's not yours to fix."

Edward nodded, knowing that he didn't really agree with his mom.

"But you can be there for her. Be what she needs. You've always loved each other. That has to count for something, doesn't it?  
Edward didn't know anymore.

xxxFBxxx 

Edward had just walked through the clinic doors finding Bella holding her daughter and a nappy bag of some kind hanging off her shoulders.

"SUPERMAN" an excited Violet launched herself out of her mother's arms and into the direction of Edward. Only just managing to catch her Edward took her into his arms with a wide grin.

"Violet!" Bella admonished. "You can't just throw yourself at Edward."

Edward chuckled. "Never stopped you, Isabella."

"Superman" Violet sighed dreamily, putting her little hands on his cheeks and peering into his eyes, resting her forehead on his.

"Good morning, Violet."

"NO CARE." Violet screeched and turned to Bella glaring at her.

Bella rolled her eyes at her daughter and held her hands out to take Violet from Edward.

The little girl pressed her body closer to Edward and shook her head.

"No tanks." She said sweetly and clutched onto Edward's white shirt, leaving strawberry jam smeared where she held tightly.

Edward chuckled, "It's fine."

"Oh my god, she's ruined your shirt!" Bella said in a shrill voice. "Oh, Violet."

"I said it's fine. I'm a doctor, I've normally got way more disgusting things than strawberry jam on me by the end of the day." He smiled at Violet as she tucked her head into his neck making herself comfortable.

"What is it with you and Swan girls?" Bella grumbled. "And why does she keep calling you superman? You don't even look like Superman."

Edward laughed. "I don't know. I'm not complaining though." He winked and smiled widely when Bella blushed.

"So, what brings you in to see me, Miss Violet?" Edward ran a hand over her head, feeling it was a little warm.

"She woke up with a temperature this morning and daycare won't keep her with a high temp. Mom said that she would come in and get her on her way home from the library later if that's okay?" Bella looked worried as she explained.

"Okay."

"Okay? You're not going to fire me or yell at me for bringing my child into work?"

"Why would you think that I would ever fire you for being a mother, Bella?" he said in exasperation. "You're a mom. Anyone who fires or yells at a parent for putting their child first is the worst kind of person and to be honest, I'm a little irritated that you would think so low of me."

Bella's cheeks reddened again. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." He snapped. "Come with me, I'll check over Violet to make sure she's okay."  
Edward took Violet down to his office, Bella at his heels.

xxxFBxxx

"Do you feel sick Violet?" he asked the little girl.

Her head shot up from resting on his shoulder and she scowled. "NOT."

Edward laughed. "Alright then. Can I check your ears?" He put a now wriggling Violet on the examination table.

Violet turned her head daintily and pointed towards her ear lobe.

"Pretty like mama?"

Edward looked over to Bella in confusion, who rolled her eyes.

"She thinks you're going to pierce her ears."

"Ahh, I see." To Violet, he ran his hand over her head and shook his head. "Sorry baby girl. Not today. But do you think you can let me have a look inside your ear?"

With a resigned sigh which was hilarious to Bella and Edward, Violet turned her head again and flapped her hands in a 'get it over with quickly' gesture.

Chuckling, Edward put the otoscope in her ear and had a look.

"Oh sweetheart, no wonder you're running a temperature. You've got an ear infection."

Violet nodded her head as if she knew all along. "Yeah."

"Let's have a look down your throat and listen to your chest while we're at it okay?"

Violet opened her mouth wide with a loud "AAAAHHHHHCH" and grinned proudly at her Mom's praise for being a good girl.

"Her throat is a little red, but that could be from all the yelling she does." He winked down at Violet, who smiled widely back and then grabbed at his stethoscope that was hanging around his neck.

"Be careful honey" Bella scolded and tried to take it back.

"STOP IT, MOMMY. I DON'T LIKE IT." Violet screeched back and tried to hold it away from Bella's grabbing hands.

"Okay ladies, break it up." Edward stepped forward. "Violet, can I have my stethoscope back for a minute so I can listen to your chest. Then you can have a go and listen to my heart if you would like?"

Violet looked between Bella and Edward in suspicion. "Pwomise?"

"Yes."

With another impatient sigh, Violet handed his stethoscope back.

"Thank you."

She pursed her lips and sat still waiting for Edward.

Listening to Violet's chest, he couldn't hear anything that was concerning. "Sounds good." He took them off and placed the earpieces in her ears. "Okay?" he waited for her to nod before he placed the chest piece to his heart.

"Ohhhh!" Violet looked up with wide eyes at Edward.

"Can you hear his heartbeat baby?" Bella asked with a smile.

"Oooohhhhh" Violet held the stethoscope closer to her head and beamed.

Edward watched the little girl listen to his heart and remembered how much he loved listening to his dad's heartbeat.

"My dad gave me this stethoscope when I was accepted into med school. Do you remember?" he asked Bella softly.

"Yeah, you cried." Her face was soft and for the first time in a very long time, she leant her body alongside his.

Edward kept his now sweaty hands holding the chest piece to his heart, but rested his head on hers. He briefly wondered if Violet could hear his heart beat racing.

Aware of the time, Edward took the stethoscope off Violet. "Maybe one day I can give you your first stethoscope?" he tickled her under her arms and chuckled when she threw herself down onto the bed and dissolved into hysterical giggles.

Ignoring the odd look Bella was giving him, he walked over to his desk and pulled out his prescription pad.

"She's going to need some antibiotics. Is she allergic to anything?"

"None."

"Good. Do you have any probiotics at home?" he glanced up at Bella. When she shook her head he went back to writing the prescription. "I've put down a probiotic that she can take too. It might help with her tummy while on the antibiotics okay?"

"Okay."

"It's a liquid and apparently doesn't taste too bad, so you shouldn't have any trouble. Twice a day, with food."

The clinic doorbell went off and Bella looked towards the door.

"Thank you, Edward."

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "It's no issue. You can leave her with me while you check in whoever is out there."

Violet had managed to climb down from the examination table and was sizing up the skeleton that Emmett had given to Edward as a joke.

"Dead man! Hi!" she greeted the skeleton. When it didn't reply she kicked the shin bone.

"He is rude." She huffed.

xxxFBxxx

The morning at the clinic was filled with people falling in love with Violet, who insisted on barging into his office and climbing into his chair and demanding he let her check their 'hard beat.'

By lunch when Renee bustled into his office to collect her granddaughter, she was fast asleep on the examination table holding Edward's stethoscope tightly in her tiny fist.

"She's adorable when she's awake, but Dear Lord isn't she just precious when she's asleep?" Renee said lovingly.

"Both of my children are my favorite when they're sleeping." Joked Bella.

'She looks like Bella does when she's asleep' Edward thought.

Renee's eyes widened and she bit her lip from laughing.

Bella went bright red and backed out of the room making a strangled sound.

"Ah. I said that out loud."

Of all the things to say, he had to say that?

It was true though. Violet slept like her mother. On her side with her mouth pursed and a look of concentration. As if their dreams were very serious.

"They do though," Renee said with her eyebrows high. "I'll get the monster out of your clinic. Good to see you, Edward. Come for dinner on the weekend okay?"

Knowing this wasn't really a request, but a demand Edward agreed.

Bella joined Edward in the kitchen after she had waved Renee off.

"Coffee" Edward pointed to the steaming cup he left for her on the table.

"Thanks." Picking up the cup, she blew on the hot coffee and took a sip.

"So," Edward smirked into his drink.

"So what?" her cheeks went pink and Edward had to hold back a chuckle. She was so easily embarrassed. Edward loved that he could get that reaction from her still, even with all of their baggage and shit, he knew she was still very much affected by him.

"I didn't finish my turn yesterday."

"Excuse me?" Bella's face went bright pink. Edward wondered what she was thinking about.

"In the car? 20 Questions. Why? What were _you_ thinking of?" he said with a smirk.

"I wasn't thinking about anything" she replied quickly, her face still very pink.

"Liar."

"Fuck off, Edward."

He held his hands out in surrender. "I'm not the one—"

"Fuck. Off. Edward." Bella grit out.

Laughing Edward let it go. "But I love winding you up so."

"Go away." Walking over to the sink she emptied her coffee and washed her cup out.

"You don't really mean that." He said quietly.

Her shoulders slumped. "No." She whispered.

A thrill shot through Edward.

"So, ask me."

Bella turned around and leant against the sink, her arms crossed.

"What's the other thing you did this week that you enjoyed and why?" her lips twitched as if she was trying to hide a smile.

Edward's mouth curved into a smile. "This."

She cocked her head in confusion. "What?"

"This Bella." He shrugged. "Just this."

"Standing in the kitchen and me telling you to fuck off?"

Edward nodded his head. "Yes. Me, you, in the same room and no one is crying or really yelling. Unless Violet is in the room, but I'd sell my soul to hear that every day."

"Of all the things you did this week, me telling you to fuck off is your top two?" She said disbelievingly. "I think there is something really lacking in your life, Edward." She chortled.

Edward agreed. There was.

"That's my answer. And the rules are that you can't lie. And I would never lie to you, Bella." He looked at her seriously.

"You, me, flirting, I've enjoyed that more than anything."

"We are not flirting." She insisted, but her flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes told a different story.

They stood in the kitchen quietly for a bit, Edward sipping his coffee, looking through his eyelashes at her as she gazed out the window chewing on her bottom lip.

Experience told him that she was mulling something over and it wouldn't be healthy for him to interrupt her train of thought.

"Huh." She said suddenly as if she'd come to a conclusion about something.

Giving her a questioning look, she shook her head and smiled.

"You need to get back to work Dr Cullen."

xxxFBxxx

Edward had just sat down with a bowl of cereal for dinner when the front door flew open. The crash of the door hitting the wall behind it made Edward jump, spilling milk over himself and the sofa.

He jumped up and looked around frantically for the threat.

"SUPERMAN" a pajamaed Violet bellowed her little face red and streaked with tears.

Launching himself over the sofa and rushing over to Violet he swung her up into his arms and started checking over her body frantically, worrying that she was hurt.

"What's the matter? Where is Mommy?"

She didn't seem like she was physically injured. She was a little hot but knowing she had an ear infection and was in hysterics, he figured she was okay heath-wise too. How did she get to his house? It was pitch black outside for crying out loud.

Stepping outside, he found Bella racing up the driveway towards them both.

"Violet Antonia Black!" she yelled. "Don't you ever EVER run from Mommy ever again."

The world stopped spinning for a minute.

Edward was holding Violet to his chest, his hand spayed protectively across her back. Bella frozen her arms reaching out to grab hold of her child and Violet, Violet with his middle name as hers in his arms was silent.

* * *

 **A.N**

 **:D**

 **I'm sorry if the layout is all over the place, Please bear with me while I get used to it.**

 **Thanks again for lovely reviews! xx**


	13. Chapter 13

Finding Bella- chapter 13 

Bella looked at her watch and sighed. It was only ten-past-six and Max and Violet didn't look like they were winding down for bed anytime soon.

At least they were in their pajamas, so at she wasn't completely failing at parenting.

Max was playing cards with Emmett and Charlie at the kitchen table. When Bella walked by to get a drink for Violet, it looked suspiciously like they were trying to teach Max how to play poker.

"What are you playing?"

Charlie looked guiltily up from his hand and lifted a shoulder. "Just a card game Bells. Secret men's business and all that."

"Yeah, move along, nothing to see here," said Emmett as he slid four m&ms into the middle of the table. 

Rolling her eyes, Bella took her drink back into the living room where Violet was sitting in front of the television watching ninja warrior with Renee.

"Dad is teaching Max how to play poker." She said to her mom as she sat down on the sofa, making herself comfortable. "Violet, you're sitting too close to the TV. Move back please."

Violet scooted herself back a tiny fraction and scowled.

"That does not surprise me. And do you know what else won't surprise me? When Max whoops their butts." Said Renee.

Both women giggled just imagining Max wiping the floor with the men.

"It will serve them right."

"So, Bella. Are you going to tell me what's going on with Edward?" her eyes danced with the anticipation of gossip.

"No." Bella shook her head and tried to become very interested in the guy on the TV throwing himself onto a rope.

"I can do that, Mama?" pointed Violet and the screen.

"No, baby. You're too little."

Violet pouted and crossed her little arms across her body. "hmph." She huffed.

Renee nudged Bella with her shoulder, "Not even a little bit?"

Bella huffed herself, realizing that Violet had picked up the gesture from her.

"No, Mom." She looked in the direction of the kitchen and raised her eyebrows. Although Emmett was in the other room and distracted, she didn't him to over hear something that she wasn't ready to admit.

If Bella was being honest with herself (and honesty and Bella didn't really go together lately) she didn't know how she was supposed to feel getting closer to Edward.

On one hand, it was so familiar and comfortable.

On the other hand, it was terrifying. Edward Cullen had the power to hurt her more than anyone else in the world.

He took her mood swings without getting whiplash, and the way he was with Violet, God, it was enough to make her weep.

If Violet had ever gotten sticky fingers on Jacob's fresh work shirt, he'd have blown a gasket. Edward just shrugged it off and proudly pointed out the strawberry jam fingerprints to anyone who asked.

Every time Violet climbed over the playpen Bella had set up in the waiting room and barged into his office, demanding attention from him and his patients, Bella cringed, waiting for Edward to lose his temper or tell Violet off. Instead, he calmly picked her up and carried on talking, allowing the little girl to poke and prod his face, scribble all over his paperwork or try to steal that damn stethoscope. It wasn't professional in the least, but when Bella had said this, Edward shrugged it off. "This is a family practice, Bella. If people have an issue with a two and a half-year-old barging into my office, then they can drive to a different town." He'd said. 

"I'm not hiding anything from you, it's just… There isn't anything to tell you."

Renee rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Are you forgetting that I saw you both this afternoon? You were both very comfortable in that office."

"Mom," Bella warned.

"Okay, okay, I'm dropping it." Her mom put her hands up in surrender. "But when you do need to talk, you know I'm here."

Bella rested her head on her mom's shoulder. "Yeah, I know." 

XXXFBFBXXX 

Knowing that Bella didn't have the time or luxury to sit on her arse and watch television with her family, she groaned and got to her feet. There were simply not enough hours in the day anymore. She was tired just thinking about all the things she needed to do.

"I've got to go over to the house and take some measurements for the kitchen cabinets. I'll be back in a little while."

Violet, noticing her mom was getting up and leaving, got to her feet also.

"I come."

"No sweetheart, it's dark already and you're going to bed soon."

"I. COME," Violet demanded, squinting her eyes in determination. If she weren't so cute, it would be terrifying.

Bella sighed, giving in before Violet well and truly unleashed hell on them all.

"Fine. Go find your shoes."

With a wide grin, Violet raced off to find her shoes. 

XXXFBFBXXX 

Violet was singing 'Old Mac Donald' off tune and a pitch too high when they pulled into her driveway.

"Mama, my Superman lives over deear." She pointed a sticky finger (How she was sticky again, Bella had no idea) in the direction of Edward's house.

"Yes, sweetheart he does."

"I go over."

"No baby. We have to make some measurements and then go home to bed."

"NO BED."

"Yes to bed and please stop shouting."

Bella hopped out of the car and went to the back to help with Violet's seatbelt.

"I do it." She said crossly and pushed Bella's hands away.

"Sweetheart, you need my help. You can't- Oh." Bella groaned internally when Violet unsnapped the child safety seatbelt and slid out of her seat.

"Like magic, Mama."

"It's like something," Bella muttered.

Violet jumped out of the car, landing on her feet and pointed over to Edward's house.

"I go?" she went to walk towards his house when Bella grabbed hold of Violets shirt and pulled her back to her side.

"I said no, Violet."

"I GO NOW," dissolving into tears, Violet pulled and wiggled her little body until Bella lost her grip. In her struggle to control her child, Bella rolled her ankle and toppled over, only just missing falling on top of Violet. Realizing she was free from her mom's clutches, Violet raced off, crying in the direction of Edward's home.

"Fuck." Bella sat up and groaned. This was all she needed.

Getting to her feet, she winced as a sharp pain went up her leg as she put pressure on her foot. Ignoring the pain, Bella took off after Violet, stumbling again as her ankle threatened to roll again.

Hobbling as fast as she could up Edward's front path, she couldn't see either Violet or Edward.

"Violet?" she called, frantically looking around the front yard for her daughter.

Seeing Edward's car in the driveway, she at least knew he was home, relieving some of her panic.

Finally, she saw Edward step out of his house holding a crying Violet in his arms.

Relief coursed through her followed swiftly by anger at her daughter.

"Violet Antonia Black!" she yelled. "Don't you ever EVER run from Mommy ever again." 

XXXFBFBXXX 

A myriad of emotions played across Edward's face when he heard Violet's full name.

Shock, confusion, anger and then hurt.

He was a smart man. He knew that it wasn't a coincidence that Bella had given Violet the female version of his middle name, Anthony.

As young lovers, they had many conversations about what they wanted from their future, wrapped up in each other's arms after making love, they whispered promises of a family. Marriage, three children, one of them named after him but his middle name because he hated his first name.

She didn't care what they were called, just that they looked like him and she could keep him forever. 

He stood as still as a statue, the hurt look on his face still frozen in place. Violet picking up that something important was happening stopped her tears, her little body wrapped tightly around Edward.

Bella, she didn't know what to do.

She wanted to run. She wanted to rip Violet out of his arms and run. As fast as she could go. At the same time, she wanted to explain herself, tell him that she loved him desperately, for always and by naming her children after him, she had a piece of him with her always.

Edward's eyes closed, his body losing some of the tension. Turning, he strode into the house and placed Violet gently down on the sofa.

"Stay here sweetheart and watch some Television okay?" He kissed the top of her head as she agreed, instantly taking the remote and switching over to a wrestling show.

Bella edged her way into the house silently, feeling like she was going to be sick.

"Kitchen." Edward stormed past her, not looking in her direction.

Bella followed him into the other room, checking with Violet first to make sure she was okay with being left alone. She needn't have worried, as Violet was standing on the arm of the sofa, about to launch herself onto a pillow in the middle of the sofa, pretending it was someone she was wrestling, a manic grin stretched across her little face.

Edward was leaning against the kitchen island looking lost, his hands running through his hair making it go in different directions.

"Sit." He pointed to one of the barstools next to him. Bella wanting to have an easy escape if she needed to shook her head.

"It's okay, I'll stand."

"No. You need to sit. You standing makes me nervous that you're going to run away."

It was like the man could read her mind.

With a heavy sigh, Bella shuffled over to the bar stool Edward had pointed out and sat on it, slumping her shoulders.

"Happy?" she snipped.

"Far from it Bella." Edward snapped back.

Feeling her cheeks heat, she looked down at her hands, wishing that she could take, oh, she didn't know, the last 10 years back.

They sat in silence, Bella getting more and more nervous as the atmosphere became heavier and heavier with all the emotions in the room.

"My drink was spiked." Edward blurted out.

Bella swung her head around so quickly, the stool wobbled underneath her. Placing her hands on the island counter to steady herself she took a deep breath, trying to will the nausea away.

"Edward." She warned. She didn't want to know. Squeezing her eyes shut, she shook her head back and forth, "It doesn't matter now."

"It does!" he exclaimed. "It DOES matter. It matters to me, Bella."

"Keep your voice down." She hissed, pointing in the direction of the living room. They could both hear Violet slamming her little body into the sofa with a yodeling battle cry.

"There was a fuck-up at the hospital roster or something and I got to leave early. I went to the apartment to get my things and then I was going to drive home."

Bella bit her lip so hard she could taste blood.

"Mike was throwing a party and asked if I wanted to stay for a drink. I said I'd only have one and went and sat with Irina and Kate. I told them both I was only staying for one drink. And that's all I remembered."

"Edward, I don't need to know this." Bella tried again. Didn't he see? She desperately didn't want to know. If he told her he did sleep with Irina, she'd still be broken inside. If he told her he didn't, well, it would mean that all of this, every single last bit of it, was her fault.

"You do need to know it, Bella. You're just scared.

I begged everyone who I knew was at the party to tell me what happened, but hardly anyone remembered me there. Some said I was on the sofa with Kate and Irina and the next they saw, they were helping me into my bedroom. I begged Irina to tell me what happened and she said that we did 'stuff' but didn't go all the way. I thought she was you. I was so out of it, I thought she was you."

Bella choked on her breath, feeling like her lungs were going to collapse. Blood rushed in her ears and she really felt like she was going to pass out.

 _I need to go._

 _I need to go._

 _I need to go._

It repeated in her head over and over, but she was stuck on that stupid stool that Edward demanded she sat on.

"I called Kate and I begged her to tell me."

"Please stop, Edward."

"No." he pushed himself off the island and started pacing back and forth the length of the kitchen.

"She said that I was calling Irina your name."

Bella heaved and stumbled off the stool. Clasping her hand over her mouth, she stumbled down the hall into the bathroom and retched into the toilet.

Cool hands lifted her hair from her neck as she continued to expel everything she'd eaten that day.

When she was done, she tried to push Edward away.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." He whispered.

She shook her head and rinsed her mouth out in the sink.

"Mommy?" Violet peeked her head around the doorframe, her eyes wide at seeing her mother pale and sickly looking.

"I'm okay baby, Mommy just got sick. Let's go home."

Bella was surprised when Violet simply nodded in agreement and walked into the hallway.

"I'm not done."

Bella's spine went rigid. "Yeah, Edward, you are.

"Dammit Bella, I didn't fuck her."

Ten years of hurt and disappointment and heartache was threatening to drown Bella. Standing in Edward's lovely renovated bathroom with the white subway tiles that she could now never have in her own bathroom because it would remind her of this event for the rest of her life, Bella lost control.

"You didn't have to fuck her Edward. You still touched her. You held her; you called another woman my name. I told you about her. I FUCKING TOLD YOU." Bella screamed. "But you knew better, didn't you? You stayed and had a drink with that fucking whore instead of coming home to ME. I did everything right. I stayed home; I didn't go out drinking with friends. I stuck to the plan. I have lied to my fucking brother for too many goddamned years because of you, you fucking asshole. It's cool though. You didn't fuck her. But you certainly fucked me, didn't you Edward. You fucked me good and hard." She was breathing heavily, fists clenched ready to rip his stupidly handsome face right off his head if he said ONE more fucking word.

Edward's jaw clenched. Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something, his eyes widened.

"Mama?" Violet was again standing at the door looking worried. "You make my mama cwy?" she asked Edward with a heartbroken expression on her face as if the idea of her Superman not being perfect was the worst thing ever.

Bella had to stop herself from telling Violet that Edward had been making her cry every day for the last 10 years, but she didn't think it was mature, or appropriate.

Edward's shoulders slumped in defeat.

"I- yeah, I did, sweetheart. I didn't mean to though." He looked just as heartbroken, which made Bella's heartache worse.

Her marriage had ended and Bella didn't cry. Sure, she cried when her children were hurting, or at how embarrassing it was, and she cried with how helpless she felt, but she didn't cry over losing her husband, and she didn't cry that he cheated on her.

But this?

Something that happened 10 years ago had her utterly devastated.

Wiping the tears from her face, Bella pushed past Edward, pulling her hand away from his as he tried to hold her.

"You're always running away. One of these days, you're going to have to stop." He called out after her.

Bella stopped in her tracks and spun around.

"Fuck you, Edward. What do you want from me?"

"I just want you, Bella." He said quietly.

"You can't."

"That's a ridiculous thing to say." He snapped. "You're the only one I've ever wanted."

"You're still holding onto a something that happened over a decade ago, Edward. Move on."

"You can lie to other people, Bella, but you can't lie to me. You and I both know it didn't end then." He warned.

Bella flushed and looked away.

She needed to get out of there and fast before any more words were said.

"I have to get Violet home."

"Come back after." He pleaded.

"No."

Violet was in the living room waiting for Bella, hands on her hips impatiently. She had pulled all the sofa cushions and had made a crash mat of sorts on the floor to practice her WWE moves.

"Did you make this mess?" Bella asked her daughter.

"Noooo" Violet fluttered her eyelashes and swung her body from side to side.

Bella sighed heavily. She was going to have to address this lying thing Violet had picked up.

Throwing the cushions back on the sofa, she studiously ignored Edward as he leaned against the doorframe watching her.

"Come on Vi. Let's go home."

For once, Violet didn't protest leaving her Superman. She threw herself into his arms giving him loud, wet smacking kisses all over his face.

"I love you Superman." She sighed happily. "Say sowwe to Mama doh, kay?"

Edward held her tightly and nodded.

"Bye sweetheart," he whispered. 

Violet scrambled out of his arms and ran to Bella, holding her arms out, ready for Bella to swing her up into her own arms.

"Let's go baby girl. It's bedtime!"

"NO BED," Violet screamed and then yawned.

Violet waved over Bella's shoulder at Edward and put her head down on into the crook of her neck. She'd be asleep before they got home. 

XXXFBFBXXX 

Bella walked carefully down the driveway, watching the ground, so she didn't fall with Violet in her arms, telling herself that she could cry when she got in the car.

They made it to her car, realizing she'd left the doors open in her rush to get her run-away child.

Putting a sleepy Violet into her seat, Bella softly closed the car door and leaned against the door, looking up at the night sky.

She was so tired. 

"What is Max's name?" Edward's voice was gritty with emotion, came from beside her.

Bella turned her head and looked at Edward.

His hair was wild, his eyes dark and desperate. 

"Max Anthony Black." 

Edward's mouth dropped. She could see his mind start working.

Before he said anything else, she climbed into her car and pulled out of her driveway.

She watched him watch her drive away. 

* * *

A.N

And just as they started getting along. *sigh*

Don't panic. I firmly believe in E&B living happily ever after.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N**

 **Sooooooooooo... a few people are pretty annoyed with Bella right now!**  
 **Have faith though, things will all work out.**

 **There is a nice juicy lemon in this chap, please be kind, this was my first ever one i've written. I was so nervous, I made my husband read it through first! haha.**

 **Once again, thanks for all the amazing reviews, your kind words, and your follows/faves.**

* * *

Six months, almost to the day of Bella's wedding, he came home for Christmas.  
He had originally planned to spend it in the city, working and pretending the holiday season wasn't in full swing.  
His mom called on a rainy morning and dropped in casual conversation that Bella and her new husband would not be coming home for Christmas, and Renee and Charlie were devastated.  
Knowing that Bella wouldn't be in Pepper's Bay gave Edward the incentive to go home.

Pulling into his parents' driveway, he expected his parents to race out of the house to greet him excitedly like they always did. Instead, Alice was leaning against the garage door, rocking a sleeping baby.  
"Hurry up, it's fucking freezing out here. I need to talk to you." Alice jerked her head towards the house and hopped from foot to foot.  
"Why are you waiting out here? Is this Lucy? Where is everyone?" Edward shut the car door and rushed Alice and baby towards the house.  
"It's freezing out here sure, but your mom has the heat on inside and I was melting." She blew her cheeks out and whistled. "These post-partum hormones are killing me." Edward opened the front door and guided her in before him. A wall of heat hit him. Understanding what Alice meant, Edward took off his jacket, scarf, and hoodie immediately.  
"Fuck, why is it so hot in here?"  
Alice grinned. "Esme was worried Lucy was cold." Alice unwrapped the baby and handed her over to Edward without a thought. "Edward, meet Lucy. Lucy, this is Edward. You've got Swan blood running through you, so I'm sure you'll be in love with him when you grow up." She joked.  
"Ahh, you're still a Swan, even though you're Whitlock now. Does that mean you're secretly in love with me too?" Edward winked at Alice and chuckled when she blushed.  
"Of course." She trilled. "Anyway. Your dad was called to an emergency. Someone slipped on some ice or something and I had to get Esme out of the house so I could talk to you, so I came over to show off Lucy and then pretended I didn't have any spare diapers in my bag. So, she's at the store buying me diapers." Alice smiled proudly as if her deception was something to be proud of.  
"Okay?" Edward rocked Lucy back and forth. She was an adorable little thing with dark hair like her mom and Jaspers nose.  
"You know how your Mom and Dad always have Christmas with us?"  
"Yeeeees?"  
"Well, Mom told Esme that Bella wasn't coming home, and she wasn't, because her new husband had a work thing or whatever, but this is Lucy's first Christmas and she was sad that she was going to miss that, so she begged Jacob to move things around and she's arriving tomorrow morning." Alice rushed out quickly. "Don't panic." She said as Edward started to panic.  
"I've re-arranged the seating plan, so you don't have to sit near them. You can sit with Emmett and Jasper. Talk man stuff. I don't know."  
Edward's stomach dropped.  
"Alice, I can't." his voice cracked. "Here." He handed Lucy back to Alice and started pacing the floor.  
"You can, Edward."  
He shook his head. "No, you don't understand. We left things really weird last time. I asked her to leave him."  
"When?" shrieked Alice.  
"At the wedding?" Edward said it like a question, knowing that it wasn't a nice thing to admit to doing.  
"You asked Bella to run away with you on her wedding day?" Alice shrieked again, causing Lucy to jolt awake with a loud cry. "Oh, mommy is sorry, baby. Uncle Edward just told me something so _God dammed stupid_ she forgot you were in her arms." She cooed at her baby, then turned and glared at Edward.  
"So, what did she say?"  
"She said okay, and we ran off and lived happily ever after." He said sarcastically. "What do you think she said? She said no. And then we sort of hugged. For a really long time. And she cried. And I cried. And then Charlie came and got us because she needed to go do her first dance or some shit, and Carlisle and I left and I got so drunk I spent the next two days in bed throwing up and wishing for actual death."  
Edward was only just starting to feel human again.  
"Oh, Edward. You guys are so fucked up." Alice sighed.

Edward spent most of the night trying to figure out a way that he could get out of Christmas at the Swans. He could try to fake an illness, but with Carlisle being a doctor, he would see right through him.  
A medical emergency could work, but he didn't want to jinx it and a real emergency take place.  
He'd woken up with a headache and a burning in his chest that had Edward thinking seriously that he was going to have a heart attack.

Esme and Carlisle had insisted on exchanging gifts around the tree like they used to do when he was a child. Edward gave Esme a beautiful white gold charm bracelet that she saw and fell in love with when she was visiting him in Seattle. He gave his dad a new leather bound journal and a fountain pen that he could use at work.  
His parents gave him a new iPad, a gift that Edward thought incredible but very expensive.

Lunch was awkward.  
Everyone apart from Jacob and Emmett was aware that Bella and Edward were deeply uncomfortable.  
Bella was rigid and different. She was wearing a beautiful red wrap dress with her hair pulled back, a pair of large diamonds in her ears. She looked spectacular, but not like the Bella they all knew, who was comfortable in a pair of jeans and a Christmas sweater.

 _Isabella_ as Jacob called her, drank red wine with her dinner, even though Edward knew she hated it. _Isabella_ picked at the food on her plate and told everyone she wasn't hungry, even though Edward knew that Christmas lunch was her favorite meal of all time. _Isabella_ was going to give up gluten for New Years, even though pasta and pizza were her life. _Isabella_ was doing yoga every day and _Isabella_ let Jacob eat her ass every Friday fucking night and twice on Sunday. _Isabella_ was not the Bella Edward had fallen in love with and Edward hated _Isabella_ and her dick head husband.

When Jacob started talking about his latest trip overseas, Edward had had enough.  
Telling everyone loudly that he was very sorry, he made his excuses saying he had a mountain of paperwork he had to do, and a long drive in the morning. It was a lie of course, but he didn't think Charlie and Renee would have appreciated him launching himself over the dining table and punching Jacob in the face.  
Refusing to give eye contact to Bella, Edward left the house before anyone could protest.

Edward had parked his truck on the sand by their spot.  
Before leaving his parent's house, he had grabbed a few pillows and some blankets to use for bedding in the back of his truck.  
Pushing the seats down, he opened the back window and lay back, making himself comfortable to watch the sun set.  
Of all the Christmas's he'd ever had, this one was the shittiest.

He knew that Esme and Carlisle would be disappointed he'd left the Swan's, and he knew they would be worried when they got home and found him not there, but he desperately needed space away from everyone questioning and feeling sorry for him.  
He'd never told anyone about what had happened between Bella and him, just that he'd fucked up and they were no longer together.

It had taken a few years to work out that it wasn't his fault what had happened that night. That responsibility was down to Irina and Kate. He suspected that Mike had something to do with it too, but he didn't have enough evidence. When Kate told him, he took it to the hospital board, letting them know that a fellow resident had spiked his drink. An investigation was held and Irina was let go from her position. Edward, not wanting to stay there either, had transferred to Seattle happily. It was further away from his family, which was bad, but it was further away from Bella, which was what he had been seeking at the time.

He did regret that he stayed for the drink with the girls. He would regret that for the rest of his life.

"Hey."  
Edward had felt her before he saw her, like a sixth sense. He always knew when she was near. Even after all this time, that hadn't changed.  
Glancing over, he saw she'd changed into jeans, a pair of her mom's Hunter rain boots and her big red coat. She'd taken out her hair, but the knit hat that was shoved low on her head covered most of it. He noticed she'd removed the massive rocks from her ears too.  
"Where is your husband?" he spat the last word as if it was poison in his mouth.  
"He left. Had to go to back to work too." She tilted her head back as she looked him over. "I thought you had work to do, too."  
Edward rolled his eyes. "No, I lied. I just couldn't sit there any longer with the two of you."  
He knew he was being aggressive, he knew he hurt her, the moment her eyes filled with tears at his words and he instantly felt like shit.  
He sighed heavily and sat up, patting the spot next to him.  
"Fuck. I'm sorry."  
Bella climbed into the back of the truck kicked her boots off, not wanting to get sand in the back. She crawled towards him and sat next to him, shoving her hands under her arms to keep them warm.  
Edward grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her legs, not wanting her to get cold.  
There was no room between them; it was the way they had always sat, even in front of Emmett. It was like they were magnets. Drawn together.  
They sat in the back of the truck and watched the sun disappear into the horizon in silence. They had done this many times before throughout their teens.  
Edward glanced over at Bella, and realized that her shaking wasn't because she was shivering with the cold, but from crying.  
It ripped his heart out, knowing she was upset and he had something to do with it. "Bella."  
"I'm okay." Her voice cracked.  
He pulled his hand out of his pocket and wrapped his arm around her.  
"What do you want me to do?" he begged the horizon, refusing to look at her.  
Bella just cried harder.  
He gathered her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her completely. Her head tucked into his neck, her cold tears soaking into his sweater.  
They were now surrounded by each other, the way they had always been. The back of the truck, kept them warm, their memories reminding them of better times.  
She still smelt the same. Strawberries and freesias. The scent of her shampoo. It was reassuring that even though she had changed herself so much for another, there was something that remained the same.

"Please don't cry, baby." Edward pressed his face into her neck and rocked her gently.  
She shifted her legs so she was now straddling his lap and held on tightly, his arms clamping around her as tight as he could. He never wanted to let her go.  
Bella shook and cried for a long while and Edward just held her, the dark of the night surrounding them.

When she had calmed slightly, he loosened his hold on her and lifted her face to his.  
"Better?"  
Her eyes shone with unshed tears, her cheeks red from the cold.  
"No." but she smiled slightly.  
He smiled back. Without thinking he lent forward and kissed her softly on the lips.  
He pulled away quickly with wide eyes. It was such a natural thing for him to do with Bella in his lap, her arms wrapped around him.  
"Shit, Bella, I-"  
Before he could finish his apology, Bella kissed him back. Her kiss wasn't gentle, but urgent and needy.  
For a second, Edward thought about pulling away, but the feel of Bella's warm tongue seeking entrance to his mouth erased any thought from his brain.  
They kissed desperately, tasting each other for the first time in years.  
Edward took control of the kiss, running his hands up Bella's back, making his way into her hair. He tore off her knit hat and fisted her hair, pulling her closer towards him, turning her head so he could kiss and lick down to her neck, finding the spot that drove her wild.  
With a whimper Bella ran her hands through his hair, gripping on to the roots and pressing him closer to her. She rolled her hips, whimpering when she felt his erection though his jeans.  
His limbs trembled with every touch, caress and kiss. Every time Bella rolled her hips slowly over his, Edward lost more and more control.  
He started pulling her coat off her, half expecting her to come to her senses and stop what they were doing. Instead, Bella moaned and helped, clumsily unzipping the coat, before she started pulling his scarf from his neck and sliding his wool sweater up his body.

He pulled away quickly; taking off his sweater and t-shirt in one go, before bringing their lips back together. She tasted sweet and minty as if she had just eaten a candy cane. Her hands ran up and down his chest, lightly grazing his nipples. His hips thrust up to meet hers as she started grinding herself against him.  
"I need this off." He whispered, his voice husky with want as he tugged at her sweater, desperate to feel her body on his.  
"yes" she hissed, taking her hands away from his hair, pulling her sweater off.  
She wasn't wearing a bra and Edward could feel his erection pressing uncomfortably against his jeans. Her nipples hardened in the cool air. Leaning forward, he licked and kissed one nipple, before moving over to the other one.

"Oh fuck" Bella groaned when he closed his mouth over her breast and sucked.  
Releasing her nipple slowly, he held her tightly and rolled them over so they were lying on the back of the cab.  
Edward kissed her neck, then her breasts, before moving down to her navel.  
Bella's breath was getting heavier, moaning as Edward's stubble tickled her sensitive skin.  
Kissing her hipbones, where the waistband of her jeans lay, Edward looked up towards Bella, his hands running up and down the sides of her torso.  
"You're so fucking beautiful."  
Bella's breath caught, a tear ran down her cheek.  
His hands rested on the top button of her jeans, her hands were in his hair, tugging and pulling, knowing how much he loved it.  
Asking permission with his eyes, she nodded yes, before closing her eyes and lifting her hips, making it easier for Edward to remove her jeans.  
Edward sat up, looking down at Bella, wearing only a pair of black lace panties.  
In all of his life, he had never seen anything so perfect.  
"Let's take these off too."  
Slowly, he pulled them off, throwing them to the side as he knelt and kissed her once above her mound.  
A blush covered her chest as he gazed at her naked body. "Do you like what you see?" she asked in a whisper.  
Edward kissed her hip. "No." he shook his head. "I _love_ what I see."  
She nodded her head, understanding what he was saying.

Sitting up, she unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans, peppering little kisses and bites on his torso as she grabbed a hold of his jeans and pulled them down, taking his underwear with them.  
He guided her back down with a kiss, laying his naked body on top of hers, her legs spreading, to fit him against her.  
"I need you." She whispered in his ear and that was it. All semblance of control that Edward had was gone.  
With a thrust, he was inside her and home.  
Bella shuddered under him and wrapped her legs around his hips.  
Needing a second to control himself, Edward held Bella in his arms and kissed her sweetly.  
"I need you to move," she begged, clenching around him.  
Slowly, he started to thrust, grinding himself against her mound and making her cry out as he hit her in the perfect spot.

Mine

Mine

Mine

He chanted in his head as he pushed into her again and again.  
Her nails raked down his back, before she grabbed hold of his ass, holding him tightly against her.  
"Oh fuck" she groaned as Edward adjusted, hitting her deeper inside.  
"You feel me, Bella? MY Bella?" he groaned.  
"Oh fuck," she repeated, meeting him thrust for thrust.  
She pressed her nose into the crook of his neck and inhaled.  
"I love you." He whispered in her ear.  
"I've never stopped." She whispered back.  
"I can't let you go."  
"I don't want you to."  
"Don't let me go."  
"I'm yours."  
"You're mine."  
"I'm sorry."  
"I need you."  
They whispered the words they so desperately needed to hear until they both flew apart together.

XXXFBFBXXX

They spent all night in the back of his truck, holding each other tight.  
He knew that this wasn't going to end well with him. Her tears that didn't stop flowing told him as much.  
They made love again, they fucked hard, Edward plowing into her so hard, her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she gushed all over him and the blankets as he told her that no one would ever fuck her like he could, and then after, they made love again as the sun came up, Edward kissing her tears away.

In the cold morning light, Bella shifted around gathering her clothes.  
"I need to get back before they realize I didn't come home."  
"Do you want me to drive you?"  
Bella shook her head. "No. It's probably a bad idea."  
Disappointment shot through Edward as he handed her a pair of socks.  
"Sure."  
She eyed him sideways. "What?"  
Edward drew in a long breath trying to keep his irritation at bay.  
"Nothing, sweetheart."  
"I can't turn up at home with you. What will everyone say?"  
"Who fucking cares. Tell them the truth. Tell them you've been fucking me all night, while Jakey boy wanks off to his investment portfolio."  
"Don't do this, Edward. Please." Bella begged, tears falling down her face.  
"No, You don't do this. Don't go back to him. Come home with me. Pick me. Please." He begged.

He watched her stare out to the ocean for a long time, terrified that if he took his eyes off her, she'd disappear before he could blink.  
"I love you, Edward. I've always loved you and I always will love you. I know that like I know you deserve better. Someone beautiful and smart like you. Someone who will give you everything you want and who won't hold you back."  
Was that her issue? This whole time? That she didn't feel like she was good enough for him?

"You are that person to me, Bella. You."  
She shook her head.  
"I'm so sorry." She sobbed.  
Edward let out a sound that was between a groan and a cry.  
"Please, Bella."  
"I can't."  
"You're killing me."  
"I know. I'm killing myself." She admitted.  
"How can you go back to him? You love me."  
"He makes me happy."  
Edward felt like she had ripped his heart out and set fire to it.  
"You don't mean that." He whispered.  
"He makes me happy."

Edward lowered his head. There wasn't anything more to say.

He gathered his clothes and quickly dressed, shoving his feet into his boots, he jumped out of the back and walked further down the beach, where he sat watching the sunrise.  
The next time he turned his head Bella was gone.

XXXFBFBXXX

Edward didn't know what to do.  
They were in such a mess, it felt like it didn't matter what either of them said or did, they were destined to fail.  
It was two steps forward and a million steps back, he felt.  
He wanted to blame himself for this. Logically, he knew that he wasn't to blame and if he was giving advice to someone else going through this, he'd be telling them to run for the hills. There was too much shit, too much baggage and too many years between them.

He wished desperately that Carlisle was alive, he would have the right words.  
There was no one else he could talk to. His mom would be angry with Bella, rightfully so, but he loved her and he couldn't stand anyone else saying harsh words to Bella, even if she needed to hear them sometimes.  
Emmett was completely out of the question. At the end of the day, they'd both lied to him and Emmett's first priority would and should be protecting Bella.  
Of anyone he probably could talk to, Jasper was the one, but bringing Jasper into it meant bringing Alice into it too, and he didn't think that Alice could be impartial.

He sat on his bottom step and put his head in his hands.  
If Bella could just stop running…  
The crunch of tires on his driveway had Edward lifting his head. Glancing at his watch, he saw he'd been sitting outside for over two hours.  
Bella parked her car directly behind his, getting out of the car carefully.  
Her face was pale and her eyes huge and smudged with mascara from crying.

In between going home and coming back, she'd changed into a pair of leggings and his old Superman t-shirt, her feet in a pair of converse. She looked like Violet had dressed her. Or Violet dressed like Bella. He couldn't be sure which.  
She stood at her car, hesitating, unsure if she was welcome.  
"If you're here to run away when it gets too hard, then go now, Bella." He said reading her mind.  
She took a step towards him and hesitated.  
With a deep sigh, Edward sat back and rested his elbows on the step above him.

"You know, you hold my entire heart in your hands. You always have done. There has been no one that even compares to you, Bella.  
I can deal with you throwing shit at me. I can deal with you lying to yourself and to me about how you feel, I can deal with you fucking me all night while you're still married, I can even deal with the fact that you called another man's child after me. The child that should have been mine in the first place. I can deal with all of that, Bella."  
She bit her lip and nodded, a tear escaping out of the corner of her eye. He watched it run down her cheek. She swiped at her face waiting for him to say what he needed.  
"But I cannot cope with you running away when it gets too fucking hard."

He could hear her breath juddering, as she tried to control her tears.  
"I'd forgive you for anything, Bella."  
"You shouldn't." she whispered.  
Edward looked away. No, he shouldn't.  
"No. I shouldn't. But that doesn't change that I do. That I would."  
Turning back to her, he looked into her eyes, willing her to stay, to stop running.  
"I'm scared." She was so quiet he almost missed it.  
"Of me?" he pointed at himself in shock. "Why?"  
"Because you won't forgive me for this. I can't."  
"What did I just say, Bella?" he argued. "We've spent too long being unhappy. You married that fucking idiot and I still forgave you."  
She sat down heavily on the step next to him, holding her body tight as if protecting herself.  
"I've forgiven you for everything."  
She shook her head.  
"Why can't you forgive me for something that wasn't even my fault?"  
She looked at him in shock. "Edward, I-"  
"Listen to me. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry that I stayed for the drink. But I was in my apartment, I was with friends…"  
"It's not your fault." She said quietly.  
"No." he agreed.  
"I'm sorry."

That tight band, that had been strangling his heart loosened. Ten years of feeling like he couldn't breathe properly disappeared.

"No more running." He begged.  
She smiled slightly and lifted her shoulder in one shrug.  
"You can do better than that." He knocked her with his shoulder.  
"Okay."  
"Good. I'm tired of chasing after you. It's exhausting."

They sat on the steps, listening to the sound of the ocean and the wind blow gently.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" she turned to him, a piece of hair escaped her ponytail, framing her face.

"Is he mine?"

Bella closed her eyes, a look of anguish on her face.

"Yes."

* * *

 **A.N**

 ***runs***


	15. Chapter 15

A.N. there is a little lemon in this. :)

* * *

"Of all the shit you've pulled, Isabella Marie Swan, this is by far the worst."  
Bella covered her eyes and sobbed. "I know. I know."  
"What in the living hell were you thinking? Does Jacob know?"  
"I wasn't thinking." She muffled though her hands.  
His heavy boots hit the floorboards loudly as he paced back and forth in irritation.  
"You're going to fix this, young lady. You are going to tell Edward the truth. You are going to fix your crap or so help me, Bella…"  
For a minute Bella was sure Charlie was going to threaten to put her over his knee. Seeing as Charlie had never raised a hand to his children in his life, Bella knew he was really very angry with her.  
He collapsed into his recliner and massaged his temples.

"I'm too old for this shit." He muttered. "You're too old for this shit." He said to Bella.  
"Edward was sexually assaulted, Bella. What happened to him was not his fault. We arrest people for doing that. Just because it was a female doing it, doesn't mean it's okay."  
Bella nodded her head quickly. "I know, Dad. I know. I just… I just reacted badly. I'm sorry." She cried.  
"Don't tell me you're sorry. Tell Edward." His face went red with rage when he realized something. "You've been punishing him all this time for something that wasn't his fault?"  
Shame washed over Bella. Yes. She had. Not that she could be blamed for that entirely. He didn't tell her.

She was stubborn and hurt all those years ago. But he could have made her listen. He could have followed her, written a note, asked Alice, sent an email, a fucking carrier pigeon. She would have eventually listened.  
Instead, Bella carried that around with her, thinking he'd just had a wild night and ended up in bed with someone else. On her darkest days, she thought that maybe he'd been sleeping with Irina for a while.

Charlie pushed himself out of his chair too irritated to sit.  
"Of all the selfish, stupid things you've done." He ranted. "What are you going to do? How are you going to fix this?" he yelled.  
"I don't know, Dad."  
"I don't know is not an answer." He snapped.  
He stomped to the door. "I've never been so disappointed." And he was gone.

Bella sat on the sofa, biting her thumbnail. It was going to start bleeding if she wasn't careful, but she didn't stop.  
Her dad was right.  
She was stupid and selfish and she was hurting the people around her who she loved.  
Bella checked on her children, pulling the blankets up for Max, who always kicked them off, even if it was arctic temperatures outside, and took her dad's police badge out from Violet's sticky Vulcan strength grip. He'd be looking for that in the morning.  
Tiptoeing out of her bedroom, she almost screamed in fright at the sight of her mom standing in the doorway.

"Shit! Mom, you scared the life out of me."  
Renee raised her eyebrows and gave her a disappointed look.  
"I just spoke to your father." She hissed. "If you aren't going to go and fix this right now, Isabella…"  
"I'm going okay? I'm going right now." She looked over at a snoring Violet. "Will you keep an eye on the kids?" she asked.  
Renee's face softened when she peeked in at Violet.  
"Sure."  
"I'm going to try to fix it." She promised under her breath.  
"You make sure you try really hard, sweetheart. Those children," she pointed at Violet and then in the direction of Max, "they deserve something good in their lives."  
Knowing that Renee meant Edward, Bella nodded.  
"I'll be back later."

XXXFBFBXXX

"Is he mine?"

Bella closed her eyes. Edward had promised that he would always love her, but this, this was so big and so hurtful and so wrong that she knew, she knew he wouldn't forgive her for this.  
All the anger she felt, all the pain she carried, was covered in a thick coat of guilt.  
"Yes."  
She swallowed several times, trying to build up the courage to say something more.  
But what is one supposed to say in these kinds of situations?  
'Sorry about that, I was meaning to tell you, but you know…oops?'  
The truth was that she was scared.  
Clearing her throat she started.

"I was scared. Jacob and I hadn't had sex in months. He'd been away and then when he came home, we fought.  
"We used to fight really badly."  
She refused to meet Edward's eyes, not wanting to see the hurt in them.  
"We'd fight about you.  
"So, when I found out I was pregnant, I planned to leave him. I was going to come home, tell you, and raise the baby here."  
"And then?"  
"He found the pregnancy test box in the bin. He knew there was no way possible that the baby was his, but instead of losing his temper, he cried. He begged me not to leave him and that we would make it better."  
Edward groaned as if he was in pain. Bella wanted to stop, but she'd promised that she wouldn't run.

"I told him that it was too late and that I was leaving. I wanted to call you, but I had no way of contacting you, so I called your mom. She answered, and she was chatting away when she told me that your dad and she had just been to visit you in Seattle. She mentioned some nurse named Charlotte. I don't know if she was trying to warn me away…"  
Bella gave a sad smile. "I didn't want to interrupt anything, especially if you had found someone you could be happy with. I didn't want to do that to you again, so I went to see for myself. I flew to Seattle and went to your hospital.  
"I was about to go in and ask for you, when you walked out with your arm around a blonde woman. She was smiling so big and you were laughing, and I thought." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I thought, there. That's who you belong with.

"So I went home to Jacob where we tried to pretend everything was okay."  
"Bella…"  
"I think it was really hard being married to me." She interrupted. "I think it would be impossible to have a happy marriage with someone when they were in love with someone else."  
"I imagine it would be," Edward said gruffly.

"So, you remember your dad's 50th?"  
Edward snorted and nodded.  
"That's when we conceived Violet."

XXXFBFBXXX

Bella was uncomfortable.

She was always uncomfortable these days, she felt anxious and out of place unless she was in the comfort of her own home, and even then, there were days she felt she didn't belong there either.

Max had just hit the terrible twos and Bella was exhausted. Jacob had been unbelievably busy at work, flying here, there and everywhere. Normally, Bella loved it when he was away. She could relax a little. But this time, he'd been away for a solid two months and Bella just needed a break.  
When he called from Hong Kong and told her that his visit was being extended by a week, Bella cried.  
She cried because she was so lonely. All the play dates, swimming lessons and coffee meet ups with other moms couldn't fill the void inside.

"I'm going to go home for a bit Jake." She sniffed down the phone.  
"You sure? What about the charity gala you were doing?" Jacob thanked someone for something and cleared his throat. "Don't you have that this week?" he said turning back to the conversation.  
Bella rolled her eyes. "No. That was last week."  
"Oh." The dead air almost hissed down the phone line.  
"So…Home?" she wasn't really asking permission.  
"Sure, Bells, if that's what you want." He sounded distracted. "Listen babe, I have to go. I'll call you later?"  
Before Bella could answer, he'd hung up.

There was no real affection between the two of them anymore, an occasional kiss on the cheek to say hi and then Bella would give him the weekly schedule and tell him where he needed to be for social and work events. She felt more like his personal assistant than his wife most of the time, which irritated her. He had Victoria for that. What was she doing all day? Painting her fingernails at her desk? Bella wished she had time to paint her fingernails.

She'd packed the car in an hour and was on the road before she could change her mind. Max sat in his seat and watched Toy Story twice in a row and then fell asleep, not making a peep the entire trip. It was like he knew that his mommy was stressed out and tired, so he didn't make a fuss.  
Her parents were happy to see her, they loved on Max from the moment they got their hands on him and Bella slept through the night for the first time in two years since having Max, allowing Renee and Charlie to entertain her son.

Renee had told Bella the 50th birthday party for Carlisle was going to be held at Edward's parents' house and that everyone was going.  
Bella tried to get out of it, using Max as an excuse, but Renee had arranged for Alice and Jasper's babysitter to look after Max as well as their daughter Lucy.

"You'll go and have a nice time," Renee said.  
"Mom, you know that it's going to be uncomfortable. Don't you remember Christmas a few years ago?"  
"Pfft." Her mom flapped her hands in dismissal. "It was fine."  
It wasn't, but Bella couldn't tell her mother that.

So, Bella went. She visited with Carlisle and Esme, spent time with Alice and Jasper and caught up with her brother, who had just opened his own construction business with Jasper.  
The more time she spent there, without seeing Edward, the more she relaxed.  
Esme had transformed their garden into an amazing party venue. She'd had a dance floor laid in the middle of their lawn and hired a live band. With a few drinks in her, she and Alice kicked off their shoes and danced up a storm.  
She'd just finished dancing with Seth when the tingle at the back of her neck alerted her to Edward being close by.  
She stopped mid spin and searched for him in the crowd.

He was leaning against the bar, with a bottle of beer hanging lazily from his fingers, watching her.  
He was wearing dark jeans and a black t-shirt, his hair cut close to the sides, but long and wild on top.  
She watched him watch her for a bit before she spun around and stumbled through the mass of dancing people.  
Just as she made it to the other side, where it was dark and hidden by trees, a hand grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"Edward." She warned.  
"Bella." He said her name as if it was a caress. Goosebumps broke out all over her body.  
"Where are you going?" he asked softly, pulling her back, closer to his body.  
"Home. I need to go home."  
"Dance with me." He whispered in her ear. The alcohol she'd drunk was making her brain buzz, his scent filling her senses making her dizzy.  
"We can't." She shook her head but allowed Edward to step up behind her, bringing his chest to her back.  
"Why?" his head dipped to her neck and inhaled. "You still smell the same."  
She felt her nipples harden and her panties flood.

"Edward."  
"Bella."  
His arms came around her and pulled her body tightly against his.  
"Do you know how beautiful you looked dancing tonight?" he ran his hand up her stomach and towards her breast. "Do you know how much I want you?" he pressed his erection into her back.  
Bella whimpered and lifted her arm above her head, pulling Edwards's head closer to her neck.  
In return, he licked her and groaned.

That was it for Bella. The part of her brain that was in charge of the sane, logical thinking woman was switched off. The part that recognized Edward as hers flicked on, screaming at her loudly to get this man naked. Immediately.  
He spun her around and lifted her into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist automatically.  
He stumbled down the side of the house, holding Bella as closely as he could. Finding what he was looking for, he grinned wickedly at her.

"Do you remember that time we fucked in the garage?"  
Bella looked at him in confusion. "We never had sex in the garage"  
"Well, no time like the present." He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked.  
Bella giggled. "You're an idiot."  
He kissed her lips quickly and looked into her eyes. "Hi."  
Bella's cheeks flushed. "Hi."  
And then they were kissing and groping and moaning.  
Edward fumbled with the door handle, sighing in relief when the door swung open into the dark garage.  
Swinging them around, he kicked the door shut and pushed Bella against the wall, next to the door.  
Bella released her hold from Edward's hair that she had been gripping, stretched out and flicked the lock on the door, keeping them safe from intruders.  
"Good girl," Edward whispered and started nibbling on her earlobe.  
Bella felt his erection through his jeans and started rubbing herself against it.  
"I'm going to fuck you so hard, Bella." Edward moaned into her ear. More goosebumps rose over her skin. "You're still going to feel me tomorrow."  
"Fuck me, Edward." She groaned.  
Sliding his hand up her leg and towards her panties, Bella rolled her hips, trying to bring herself closer to his fingers.  
"Please." She whispered.

Finding her panties soaking, Edward grunted. "You're so wet. Is that just for me?"  
"Only for you."  
"You're perfect." And then he ripped her underwear off. The sound of ripping lace turning her on even more.  
With one arm, she held on to his shoulders and the other fumbled with his belt, helping him with the top button of his jeans, as he unzipped himself and pulled his cock out.  
"Now." She begged. "Please, Now."  
With a nod, Edward pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss and entered her hard.

The force of his thrust took her breath away. Pulling away from his kiss, Bella tossed her head back and moaned, his cock hitting her g-spot with every deep stroke.  
"Oh my god" she bit her lip, trying to stop herself from screaming out his name.  
Edward pulled back, bringing himself to her entrance. "I want you to look at me when you come, Bella." And he slammed himself back inside, thrusting hard, deep and fast.  
"Look at me, baby." He grunted as a bead of sweat slid down his face.  
Bella's eyes didn't leave his as she held on; Edward's thrusts bringing her closer and closer to exploding.  
Reaching down, he bought his fingers to her entrance. "Come." He demanded and pressed his thumb down on her clit. The combination of his hard and deep thrusts and the pressure of his thumb had Bella exploding in pleasure.

Edward grunted as he felt her clench around him. "Eyes, Baby. I need to see your eyes."  
Opening her mouth in a silent scream, Bella held his eye contact as she came for a second time.  
"I love you," she moaned as blood rushed back to her head.  
"I love you too." With a cry, Edward emptied himself inside her, his dick twitching deep inside.

"We're so fucked up."  
She laughed bitterly. "I don't know two people who are more fucked up than we are."  
Edward shrugged. "Do you think it's always going to be like this?" He found a box of tissues and handed them to her.  
Bella froze. He was handing her tissues so she could clean herself up because he had come inside her. Unprotected.

"Bella?" he frowned at her.  
"Huh?" she looked at him in a daze, trying to figure out frantically when her last period had been. Jake was away. She'd been sick with a cold and raged at how unfair it was when she had started her period. Max had a play date at the park with the snotty moms club and that was around ten days ago. That was okay wasn't it?  
"Bella!" Edward was holding the tissues in front of her.  
"It's hot as fuck seeing my come drip down your leg and all, but I think our parents would have a freakout.  
"Edward. Don't be so fucking disgusting." Snatching the box out of his hands, she grabbed a handful of tissue and cleaned herself up.

She pulled her dress down and tried to straighten her hair as much as possible. She had no plans to re-join the party, but just in case anyone saw her, she didn't want them to think she'd just had sex in her ex-boyfriend's parent's garage.  
"Are you going to answer me?"  
"What was the question?"  
Edward rolled his eyes and pulled her into his arms. She wrapped hers around his waist, leaning her head on his chest.

"Is it always going to be like this?" Bella could tell that although he was trying to keep his voice light, he meant it seriously. This hurt him, just as much as it would hurt her.  
"No. We can't keep doing this."  
He ran his hands through her hair, untangling a few knots.

"Do you love him?" he asked quietly.  
"No." she'd lie to Edward about a lot of things, but she could never lie to him about that.

They snuck out of the garage door, Bella making her way back to the dance floor, where Alice and dancing around an amused looking Jasper.  
"Where have you been?" Alice shouted over the music at Bella.  
"Around." She said averting her eyes.  
Alice looked her up and down and raised an eyebrow. Bella tugged at her dress and smoothed her hair down, hoping her sister wouldn't notice her sex hair and crumpled outfit.  
"Hmm."  
Before Alice could comment further, Emmett bounded over, dragging someone behind him.

"There you all are. I was looking for you Bella. Have you seen Edward?"  
Bella flushed. "Why would I know where Edward was?"  
Alice and Jasper looked at Bella, a look of amusement on their faces.  
"I was just asking. Jeez. This is his girlfriend, Charlotte." Emmett pulled the slight blonde girl from behind her and thrust her towards Bella. Stepping back, she felt Alice grip the back of her dress, keeping her in place.  
"Hi!" Said Charlotte happily. "I'm Charlotte. Edward's girlfriend."  
"Oh fuck," whispered Jasper, low enough that only Alice and Bella could hear.  
"Nice to meet you." Lied Bella. Prickles of anxiety were shooting all over her body.  
"Oh, you're Bella." She looked Bella up and down, taking in her appearance. "He said you were beautiful." Her comment wasn't a compliment, but more of an observation that Edward was mistaken.  
Bella felt her cheeks heat. "Um, okay?" Turning to Alice and Jasper she smiled desperately at them. "Guys, we should go. The babysitter will be ready to go home now." Please, please, please let's go. She silently begged her sister.

"Sure. Carol? It was nice to meet you." Alice flicked her eyes up and down, dismissing her.  
"It's Charlotte," she corrected.  
"Oh. I'm sorry. It's just that Edward hasn't mentioned you to us. At all. Ever. Anyway." Alice said with a bright and cheerful voice. "Have fun!"  
Emmett scratched his head looking confused at the exchange

"What did you do?" Alice hissed as Bella stumbled down the road, towards their parent's house. They'd all been drinking, and it was only five minutes away, so they walked.  
"Nothing."  
"Bella," Alice begged. "You can't keep doing this."  
"I KNOW." She screamed.  
"You're both as bad as each other." Huffed Alice.  
"Alice, sweetheart, let's stay out of this okay?" Jasper said calmly.  
"But Jas…"  
"Honey." He warned.  
They walked the rest of the way in silence.

Bella went home the day after the party. She packed Max up and all the things that came with traveling with a toddler. Bella had lied to her parents and told them Jacob was coming back early from his work trip and she wanted to be there for him when he arrived.  
Charlie gave her a look that said he didn't believe her, but he let her go, for which Bella was grateful.

She confessed everything to Jacob when he got home four weeks later, with another positive pregnancy test.  
This time, they didn't cry.  
He didn't yell, or scream or call her names. Instead, he promised to support them and they could just go on pretending.  
"Don't you want to be with someone who makes you happy?" she asked him one night.  
"You make me happy." He said.  
"I don't think I do." She argued gently.  
"Is this about Edward?" he asked.  
"No." she lied. It was always about Edward.

XXXFBFBXXX

Edward got to his feet and put his hands on top of his head and started walking away.  
Bella sat frozen on the step.  
When he made it to the end of his drive, he turned around and walked back.  
He ended up standing directly in front her, clenching his fists at his side.

"They're mine."  
"Yes."  
"Oh, Bella." Edward fell to his knees in the dirt and cried.

She didn't know if she was supposed to try to comfort him, or stay away. She wouldn't beg for forgiveness because she didn't deserve that. She could never expect that from him. Or anyone for that matter.  
Edward brushed the tears from his face, turning to look at Bella.  
"Did you- I can't- Why?" he said with such defeat.  
Bella wiped a tear and shrugged. "I didn't want anyone to judge us. Me. You, Jacob even. I'd kept Max from you. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want to ruin your life either. I thought you were in Seattle, working, and happy with the nurse.

"I felt so dirty after Carlisle's birthday party. What we did was wrong. I cheated on my husband. Twice. You cheated on your girlfriend."  
"She wasn't my girlfriend." Edward grit between his teeth. "My mom invited her, and she showed up. We dated, but I didn't want her. I wanted you. We broke up and were just friends for a while."  
"Where is she now?" Bella tried to ignore the jealousy in her tone, but with a look from Edward, she didn't think she'd succeeded.  
"Seattle, I think. I don't know. I haven't spoken to her since I packed up my apartment in Seattle and moved back home after Dad was sick."  
As wrong as it was, Bella was relieved.

"You're angry." She swallowed.  
"Like you wouldn't believe." Edward looked away and sighed. "Bella, I love you." He pleaded. "But holy shit. If I wasn't so terrified that you'd take off in the middle of the night…" He didn't finish what he was saying.  
"Do you want me to go?"  
"No. Yes. I don't know." He lifted his shoulders. He was still sitting in the dirt by the bottom stair, running his hands though his hair.  
"I can go. I promise not to run off into the night."

"Does Jacob know?" He suddenly asked, panicked.  
"About Violet? Yeah, he knows." She chewed on her bottom lip. "I told him when I found out. He asked me if I wanted to go to you. I said it didn't matter what I wanted because you were with someone else. So, he said that we could stay the way we were. He said that he wouldn't leave us."

"Did you love him?"  
She shrugged. "Not in the way that a wife loves her husband. We were friends, and I ruined that. I couldn't keep up with him. He wanted a trophy wife, and I embarrassed him."  
Edward's face darkened.  
"You don't understand." She sighed. "Jake and his family expected me to fit in, and I didn't. They aren't bad people, just different. A little cold, very rich and they don't like to show any emotion.

"You and me, we were all emotion. So hot, sometimes it was like I was flying too close to the sun. I was hurt so badly when we broke up. I really thought that you had just been drunk and had taken Irina to bed with you. It didn't even occur to me that you had been drugged and for that, I am so sorry. I wish that I had listened. Jacob, he was cool. My heart was protected. I didn't think he could hurt me."

"And he hurt you by the affair?"

"Yes." Bella nodded, feeling guilty for the hurt in Edward's eyes. "Because I was always honest with him about us. If he asked, I told him. He wasn't honest. He hid Victoria and made me feel so guilty for what we did. For the kids, for everything, and he had done the same. Why lie about it?" she looked to Edward, as if he had the answer. "I mean, I didn't fight him. I let him go. We didn't need to be so unhappy for such a long time."

"I understand. I think." He paused. "Not about keeping the children from me. I don't think I'll ever understand that Bella. But I understand that Jacob was safe for you."

Bella nodded her head.  
"I don't think I really understand it either. Just that I did it, and then it got too big. Too messy, too painful, so I tried not to think about it. The longer that time went by, the harder it was to say anything. That makes me a terrible person, I know."  
"You're not a terrible person. You've just done a really fucking terrible thing." Edward said.

"You can say that now, but soon, it's going to hit you what I did." She promised. She knew Edward enough to know that he would be upset. Right now, he was in shock. What he'd missed out on wasn't in the forefront of his mind. But soon, soon he would be devastated. He had missed their firsts. That was something Bella couldn't ever fix or give back to him.

"I guess we will deal with it when that comes then."

* * *

 **A.N**  
 **Whoooahhhhh!**

 **First a very big warm and squishy thank you to my lovely Beta EdwardsFirstKiss!**

 **Secondly, I have a few things I need to address. I've had a few PMs and reviews absolutely furious with Bella's reaction to what happened with Edward and I totally understand and agree. It was the WORST way to react, but she's human. She fucks up (really really really REALLY badly) a lot. I kind of like how real and flawed Bella is in this fic. We all do, say and react in ways that we look back on at a later time and wish fervently that we had acted differently.**

 **Bella DID blame Edward for the event, BUT she did so at the time, not aware of what had happened. Edward had** opportunity **to tell her many times. It wasn't like he didn't have any other way to contact her, he could have gone through Alice, Jasper, her mom... But he let her go, and he let her believe what she did.**

 **They have both been pretty terrible to each other.**  
 **Now, now we get to watch them heal.**

 **Once again, thank you so much for lovely reviews, your shares, faves and follows!**  
 **I'm still updating every one-two days, depending on how fast I can pump it out and my beta! :) :)**


	16. Chapter 16

"Mama." Violet whisper shouted in Bella's face.

"Hey. Wake up."

"Violet, be careful. You'll hurt mommy." Max scolded his little sister.

"Mommy."

Two little fingers pried open Bella's right eye. The terrifying sight of both her children inches away from her face loomed in front of her.  
"It's the morning time." Violet stated firmly and pointed at the window, the sky outside showing it was very early dawn.  
"It's the weekend, and that means pancakes mama." Max said seriously. "We always have pancakes on the weekend."

Bella sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "And we always will." She said through a yawn then almost choked when she was it was only five-past-six.  
"When are you guys going to start sleeping in?"  
Max looked at her horrified. "Never."  
"NEVER EVER" Violet shrieked.  
She pulled Max and Violet into bed with her, tickling them and pretending to eat their little fingers and toes.  
"Who needs pancakes when Mommy can eat her little monsters!"

Their shrieks and laughs filled Bella's heart with such love she thought it was going to explode. Her entire world could be imploding, but as long as she could hear her babies laugh, everything would be okay.  
Max's stomach growled. "I'm ready for pancakes now."  
Bella groaned loudly. "I suppose I should feed you, then."  
Max shot off the bed and raced out of the room. Violet was standing on the top of the bed, about to body slam Bella.  
"Don't you dare, young lady!" Bella pointed at Violet, her eyes narrowed.  
Violet straightened and smiled. "What?" as if she wasn't doing anything naughty at all.  
"Get down. You can help me mix."  
"YIPEEE" Violet yelled and launched herself at Bella.  
Only just avoiding a tiny elbow in her face, Bella carried Violet out, upside down by her feet.

Max was standing on a stool that he had pushed up to the kitchen counter, Renee's 'kiss the cook' apron hanging off his neck.  
Bella set Violet on a stool next to Max and kissed his cheek.  
He scowled; looking around to make sure that no one had seen his mama kiss him.  
"What was that for?"  
"It says to kiss you." She pointed to his chest.  
"Don't even think about it." He pushed Violet's face away from his as she attempted to give him a wet kiss.  
"KISS." Violet demanded.  
Max sighed heavily and turned his cheek towards his sister allowing her to slobber on his face. Rubbing Violet's saliva away, his face was a picture of disgust.  
Stifling a laugh, Bella started pulling the ingredients down to make pancakes.  
"Make mine a dinosaur, please Mommy." Asked Max.  
"Sure you don't want a Mickey Mouse head instead?" Bella asked hopefully. She wasn't very good at pancake art.  
"Dinosaur please."  
"I WANT A DWAGON." Violet demanded.  
"Shhh, your grandparents are still sleeping."  
"DWAGON" Violet bellowed louder, her face turning red.  
"Okay. Mommy is going to try her hardest." Perhaps if she just covered them in maple syrup and berries they wouldn't notice their pancakes were just blob shapes.

They were just sitting down to eat (as Bella had suspected) blob shaped pancakes, Edward walked in to the kitchen.  
Violet was mid mouthful and spotted him first, spitting out her half chewed pancake on Bella's plate. "SUPERMAN!" she screamed.  
"Urgh." Max looked down at Bella's plate. "Mommy, you can't eat that anymore." He said sadly.  
Edward sat down at the table and pulled Violet onto his lap, sneaking a strawberry from her plate.  
"SHARING" she yelled happily and started passing Edward all her berries. It would have been a lovely gesture, but she was taking a bite out of every one first, before handing it to Edward.

"I came to ask if you guys wanted to spend the day with me."  
Max finished his bite and put his fork down. "What will we do?" he asked seriously.  
Edward's mouth twitched. "I was thinking that we could maybe go to the beach."  
At the suggestion both kids cheered.  
Violet smooshed her sticky fingers onto Edward's cheek. "You build a sandcastle with me?"  
Edward's answering smile lit up the kitchen.

Getting children ready for a day at the beach was never a quick and easy thing to do.

Bella needed to find everyone's swimming costumes, beach towels, and a change of clothes, SPF 50, hats, snacks, drinks, beach toys, and a beach umbrella. In between rushing around gathering everything together, she dressed both the children, brushed three sets of teeth, started a search party for one of Violet's sandals and stopped the children fighting over who got to hold the fucking red bucket.

Edward watched the event with a look of shock.  
"What?" Did she have something on her face? Bella checked her shirt for any sticky Violet handprints.  
"There is so much stuff!" Edward's eyes were wide with shock.  
"This is normal, Edward." Bella laughed.  
"How will I learn what we need to take?" He asked in panic. "I thought we'd just get changed into our swimming costumes and go."  
She shrugged off his panic. "You learn. There isn't an instruction book, Edward." Pointing to the cooler, she picked up the picnic basket that she'd filled with sandwiches, chips, fruit and some apple muffins her mom had made the day before. "Carry that to the car. Come on kids, let's go!"

"WAIT!" screeched Violet, holding her hands up dramatically.  
"What now, Violet?" sighed Max.  
"We take Hamish." She pointed to the dog that was sitting next to Violet with a stupid dog grin on his face.  
"No." Bella said.  
"YES." Violet said as she stomped her foot.  
Edward laughed.  
Bella swung around and glared at Edward. "What are you laughing at?"  
"You used to do the same thing when you were little." He chortled.  
Bella narrowed her eyes at Edward.  
"What did Mommy look like when she was small?" Max asked Edward.  
"How about we get out of here and I'll tell you on the way?"

"When are we going to get there?" Max sighed impatiently.  
Bella held her chuckle. Poor Edward looked like he was going to pass out from nerves.  
"Not long to go, Buddy." He gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles going white.  
"What's the matter?" Bella asked with a raised brow.  
"Nothing." Edward answered quickly and chewed on his bottom lip.  
"Seriously, if it's nothing why do you look like that?"  
"Like what?"  
"Like you're about to vomit?" Max asked helpfully from the back.  
Bella burst out laughing. "Yes. That's exactly what you look like."

Edward cleared his throat. "I'm nervous." He said quietly. "This is my first outing with them."  
Bella instantly felt terrible. This was a big, huge day for Edward and she was teasing him. She couldn't imagine what it was like for Edward. He was a planner; he liked things to go a particular way- a trait that Max had inherited.  
"We will have an amazing day, Edward." Bella promised.

"One, two, free, four, five, sis, seven, eight, nine, ten!" Violet announced proudly from the back seat.  
Bella's eyes widened in shock. "Did you just count to ten Violet?"  
"No." Violet replied and then started counting again.  
"Did you teach her that?" Edward asked in awe.  
"No." she shook her head. "I mean, we've been counting, but I didn't expect her to pick it up so quickly."  
"What comes after ten, baby?" Bella asked Violet.  
Violet put her finger to her cheek and hummed as if she was thinking hard. "Eleventeen, Twelveteen, Twenty." She nodded in confirmation.  
"It's eleven, twelve, and thirteen." Max shook his head.  
"IS NOT." Violet screamed.

Bella turned to Edward to ask if this was really what he wanted when she saw him beaming. In all the years she'd ever known him, she had never seen Edward smile as brightly as he was right now.  
"You okay?" she asked with a smile.  
" _Yes_." Edward said emotionally.

XXXFBFBXXX

Even Bella was excited when Edward pulled into Sunvale, a gorgeous barrier island that was surrounded by spectacular ocean views. "I haven't been here in over ten years!" Bella exclaimed, looking of her window with wide eyes.  
"Yeah, I think the last time I was here; we came with Alice and Jasper?"

Bella nodded. Right before Edward had started med school, they had driven up for a long weekend. They had spent their time relaxing on the beach, fishing and playing arcade games on the pier. They could do all of that in Pepper's Bay or course, but it was always nice to go somewhere different. Plus, Edward and Bella enjoyed being able to be free as a couple and not worry that Emmett would find out about their relationship from some nosy busy body.  
"Do you think they still have the arcade?" Bella asked excitedly.  
"Yeah, Emmett and Jasper had a contract over here a while ago and Jas said that nothing had changed."  
"What's an arcade, Mommy?" Max asked from the backseat.  
"It's the greatest place in the world, buddy." Edward answered for her.

Max was in his element. Edward had taken Max over to the rock pools where he was showing him all the different ocean life that lived in them.  
Surprisingly, Violet had taken one look at a sea cucumber, screamed and refused to go near the rocks again.

Max and Edward were leaning forward, their untamable hair stuck up in all different directions. Although Max had Bella's dark hair, anyone looking at the two of them together, would know, without a doubt, they were father and son.

Bella had set up the beach umbrella and watched Violet dig a hole that she was sure someone would step in and break an ankle. That person would likely be Bella, herself.  
"You take me swimming now, pees." Violet asked nicely from the hole she had dug. It was almost up to her waist.  
"How did you dig that so fast?" Bella asked in shock. "Are you trying to dig to the center of the earth?"  
Violet gave her mother a look that said she thought she was an idiot. "I'm fast."

Lifting Violet into her arms, Bella walked down to the water and dipped her toes in. "It's a little cold." She warned Violet as she lowered her gently into the water.  
"Ohh. Ice." Violet tried to climb Bella like a vine.  
"Need some help?" Edward put his hand on the small of Bella's back, stopping her from toppling over.  
"We're okay." She smiled at him. "What did you find?" she asked Max.

Max's eyes were bright with excitement. "Mommy, it was so cool!" he exclaimed. "I saw a crab, and two starfish." He held two little fingers up. "Edward said he can show me the rock pools at home. Can he mommy? Can he?" Max begged.  
Edward smiled down at Max with happiness.  
"Sure, I don't see why not." Bella agreed.  
"YEESSSS!" Max hissed and pumped his little arm. "Come on, let's go swimming Edward!" he started pulling Edward into the water in excitement.  
"You hold me." Violet demanded of Bella, holding her arms up.  
Bella chuckled and lifted Violet into her arms and started to walk into the water after the boys.

Once they were in a little deeper, with the hot sun beating down on them, the water was refreshing.  
Bella and Violet played in the waves, trying to jump them, while Edward tried to teach Max to body surf.  
When both kids teeth were chattering and their little fingers pruned, they left the water to dry out in the sun and eat some lunch.

Violet sat in Edward's lap wearing her pink towel poncho munching on some watermelon. After every bite, she'd offer some to Edward. "Some?" she'd say each time and he would give a pleased smile and take a bite.

"What was my mommy like when she was little like me?" Max asked Edward as he ate his lunch.  
"That's right! I was going to tell you on the way." Edward put the straw in Violet's juice box and handed it to her. "She looked just like you do, but with shiny long hair that she always wore in two pigtails."  
"Mommy's pwetty." Sighed Violet lovingly.  
Bella chuckled. "Thanks Violet. That's a lovely thing to say." Violet shrugged her shoulders and went back to drinking her juice.

"She wasn't loud like Violet; she was a bit quiet like you, but when she wanted something and didn't get it, she'd stomp her feet and cry like a baby."  
Bella scowled. "I did not."  
Edward laughed. "She did." He said to Max. "And when she was a little older than Violet, she cried when your Grandma wouldn't let her take me to show and tell in kindergarten."  
Max giggled. "Why?"  
"She wanted to tell everyone she was going to marry me. We were going to live in a castle and have dogs." He turned to Bella. "How many dogs?"  
Bella blushed and rolled her eyes. "Four."  
Max snickered. "Hamish would not like that."  
Bella tickled Max on his side. "No, I don't think he would."  
"Did you go?" Max asked Edward.  
"Go where?"  
"To show and tell."  
Edward grinned. "I did."  
Bella couldn't help her smile.  
"All my friends laughed at me, and your Uncle Emmett told me that I wasn't allowed to marry your mom; but I went anyway. Your mom pulled me up to the front of the class and said ' _this is my Edward and we're going to get married one day_.' And then she kissed me. Right here." He pointed to his cheek.

Max looked disgusted.

"Mommy kissed you?"  
Edward nodded his head. "Yeah, it was pretty gross."  
"Yuck." Max scrunched up his face and looked at Bella. "Why do you hafta kiss everyone all the time?"  
Bella laughed loudly. "I can't help but kiss you, my Maxie Moo. I love you."  
He looked panicked at the thought of his mom kissing him in front of everyone.

After lunch, Max and Violet built sandcastles. Well, Max built sandcastles; Violet got bored quickly and took great pleasure in kicking them over as she practiced her battle and Edward sat under the umbrella watching them play, enjoying the sunshine.

"Thank you." Edward said quietly, fiddling with the fringe of a towel.  
Bella took her eyes off the kids and looked at Edward. "For?"  
"Spending the day with me. Letting me be a part of their lives."

Guilt and remorse punched her in the guts. "I'll never keep them from you again." She promised. "They are the most important things in my entire life, Edward. I know that I wasn't just hurting the two of us, I was hurting them too, and for that, I can't forgive myself." Bella rolled her lips between her teeth.

"We're going to need to tell our family."  
Bella nodded feeling sick. "It's not going to be easy."

Edward laughed dryly. "No. But I'll be there with you."  
Bella smiled weakly. "Esme is going to hate me." She turned back to watching the kids. Violet was dumping sand over Max's head.  
"Violet, don't do that." Bella scolded.  
Violet stood holding the bucket sizing up her mom. For a second it looked like Violet was going to tip a bucket of sand over Bella, for telling her no; but thought better of it.

Edward snorted.  
"We made that." He said proudly.

Max was riding on Edward's shoulders as they walked along the pier, Violet had complained her ear was hurting and wanted her mom to carry her.  
Bella couldn't help but feel a little relief that her baby girl still wanted her mommy when Edward was around.  
"How is she doing?" Edward looked down at Violet who had tucked her face into Bella's neck and was sleeping.  
"She's had a big day. No N-A-P," she spelled, still fighting that ear infection and all that sunshine, it was guaranteed to work its magic.

"Oh my gosh! Look!" Max yanked at Edward's hair and Bella couldn't help but laugh at Edward's expression.  
"Be careful sweetheart. You'll pull all of Edward's hair out."  
Max patted Edward on the head. "Sorry. Look mama! Its games!" his little eyes were wide with excitement.

"It's an arcade, Max. We'll get some tokens, and then we play for tickets. If we're lucky, when we've used all our tokens, we go and hand in our tickets that we've won and we can swap 'em for a prize." Edward explained.  
"What kind of prize?" Max asked in complete wonder, his little body vibrating with excitement.  
"Let's go find out!" Edward took off with Max pointing in the direction he wanted to go. Bella took her time, holding Violet close to her, breathing in her sticky little girl. They had put the kids under the outdoor showers to wash off the sand and the salt, not to mention the melted ice cream that Violet managed to get from the top of her head down to her toes. With the sand sticking to the ice cream, Violet had been a mess.

"You're sticky, gritty and icky!" Bella had sung and laughed out loud when Violet gave her a thunderous look.  
"I'm not icky! I'm Violet." She pointed to her chest.

Bella found Max and Edward playing an intense game of whack a mole.  
"I'm going to win a dinosaur toy, Mommy." He stated.  
"Good luck!" Bella ruffled his hair. "Edward, I'm going to go sit over there with Violet. She's getting heavy."  
Edward looked up from hitting the robot mole. "Do you want me to take her?"  
Bella shook her head. "No, spend time with Max. We'll be over there." She gestured with her head in the direction where she would be. "Come and get me when you guys are done."

Bella sat on the bench overlooking the water and felt her body relax. Shifting Violet, so she was cradling her, she gently rocked her body from side to side. Soon Violet would be too big to sleep in her arms. It made her incredibly sad thinking about it. Her dad was right. She'd blink and her children would be grown. It was enough to make her weep.

Thinking about how fast Max and Violet were growing, made Bella think about how much she'd stolen from Edward. He'd missed their first steps, when they cut their first tooth, their first haircuts, the first night they slept through the night… even the hard stuff that wasn't fun. The sleepless nights, the croup, the breastfeeding issues, the endless crying when they were teething, the endless worrying over their first fever, the utter exhaustion of surviving on next to no sleep and having to do it all again… Edward would have loved every single minute of it.

If it was any consolation, Jacob didn't do any of it either. Not one dirty diaper, sleepless night or elation at a first step. Most of the time he wasn't home anyway, to do those things, but if he was, he was very much removed from them. Bella couldn't blame him; they weren't his children, as much as he liked to pretend to play happy families when other people were around.  
Bella felt that maybe she should tell Edward that. Perhaps it would make it easier on him knowing that there wasn't another man playing daddy to his children, at least not in the sense that it mattered.  
She wished she had someone to talk to, who understood.

"She looks exhausted." Bella looked up at an older woman smiling softly at Violet.  
Nodding Bella agreed. "Yes. She's had a very big day."  
"Best kind of days. And perfect for getting them to sleep early." She chuckled.  
"Absolutely. Though now the trick is to work out when to try to wake her from her nap so she actually sleeps all night." Bella chuckled. "This one believes five in the morning is a perfectly acceptable time to wake up. No matter how many times I tell her differently."  
"My daughter was like that too. Just wait until she's a teenager. You'll be wishing for the days when she was up at first light, when you're banging down her bedroom door at midday."

"Mommy! Look what I won! LOOK!" Max was running towards them, waving a giant dinosaur soft toy over his head.  
Edward was chasing after him, grinning.  
"Careful" Bella called out, just as Max stepped on an untied shoelace and went flying across the pier.

Before Max could land and break a bone, Edward had caught him moments from hitting the ground.  
"Oh my god." Bella said in relief. Edward had moved so fast, one second he was behind Max, the next, holding him in his arms as Max cried out of fright.  
"It's okay buddy, I've got you."  
"I almost falled." Max said.  
"Almost." Agreed Edward. "But you didn't, because I caught you. I will always catch you buddy. Okay?"  
Max nodded and put his head on Edward's chest, wiping snot and tears on his t-shirt.  
"Good catch daddy," the older woman called out with a smile. "That would have been a nasty fall."  
Edward looked a little dazed. "Thanks. Quick reflexes." He kissed the top of Max's head and adjusted him in his arms. "Are you ready to go?" he asked Bella.

They walked back to the car in silence, Violet snoring lightly and Max nodding off on Edward's shoulder.  
"Did it feel weird?" Bella asked.  
Knowing what she was asking, he nodded. "But a good weird, you know."  
Bella nodded her head slowly. She kind of understood.  
"It's not a title I ever thought I'd have."  
"Not with her?" Bella couldn't bring herself to name Charlotte.  
Edward's brows rose. "You're going to have to get over that."  
Bella looked away, embarrassed that he knew she was jealous.  
"But to answer your question, and maybe make you feel a little better, no. Especially not with her." He said as he bumped her shoulder. "I only ever wanted to be called daddy if it was by _our_ children."

They ate dinner in a family pizza restaurant before heading home, Edward and Bella sharing a margarita pizza while they encouraged the children to eat and sit on their bottoms and keep their hands to themselves.  
It was a first for both of them, Edward at the whole "please sit down and eat your dinner" dance, and Bella at sharing the responsibility of keeping the public safe from Violet.  
"Do you think they mind me telling them to do stuff?" Edward asked as he watched Bella attempt to wipe Violet's sticky fingers. (For the hundredth time that day)  
"Like discipline?"  
"Yeah."  
Bella snorted. "I don't care if they mind or not. You're their," she shifted her eyes to Max, who didn't appear to be listening to their conversation, "f-a-t-h-e-r" she spelled out. "I suppose you'll have to get used to it."

"Huh." Edward sat back in his chair looking equally terrified, and excited.  
"Besides, I really can't wait until you're no longer Superman, or Edward, the coolest guy in the world, but just plain old daddy." She smirked.  
Edward scowled, looking awfully like Violet at that moment. "I'll always be 'Edward, the coolest guy in the world.' Thank you very much."  
"I can't wait for Violet to be a teenager."  
Edward's face went pale. "Oh shit." He whispered.  
Bella laughed out loud.  
"No, Bella, this is bad, I _KNOW_ what you were doing when you were a teenager, because _I_ was the one doing it to you."  
Bella wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes. "And that's how I know you'll go from 'Edward, the coolest guy in the world,' to 'meanest father ever', according to Violet."  
"I'll wear that title proudly, then. No way is any kid of mine getting up to what we did." He declared.

"Edward, my dad was the chief of police. He sleeps with a gun next to his bed and that didn't stop you, what makes you think you can?"  
"I'm a doctor, baby. I can castrate the little fucker." He said with a glint in his eye.  
Max had to ask what Bella was laughing so hard at.

XXXFBFBFXXX

Edward drove them home; both Max and Violet had fallen asleep on the drive home within minutes of the car leaving the restaurant parking lot..  
"What's the plan?" he asked quietly as Bella looked out the window at the darkening scenery.  
"For?" she asked.  
"Everything, I guess." He said with a shrug.  
"Well, I suppose that's up to you, isn't it? I have no right to be making any demands."  
Edward's silence indicated his agreement.  
"I want to see them more."  
"Okay."  
"I want to tell people."  
Bella's stomach dropped. "Okay."  
"I want to tell Emmett first."  
"Okay." She said and cleared her throat. "It's not going to be pretty."  
"None of this is pretty, Bella. You've got us into a cluster fuck."

She saw him tighten the steering wheel. "I love you, so fucking much, but right now, I'm really, really angry with you." He said lowly. "I don't know what to do with that, because it goes against everything that I am."  
"I know," Bella said sadly.  
"There are probably going to be days where I'm really mad at you."  
"I imagine there will be."  
"So we're going to keep trying. We're going to spend more time together. As a family. There will be no more secrets between us, okay?"  
"Okay," she said, feeling sick.

"We need to get you moved into my place."  
"O- What?" she whirled her head around to look at him, her mouth hanging open in shock. "What?"  
"I want you to move in. I've got the room."  
"Just because you have the room doesn't mean we should move in together, Edward." She said impatiently.  
"Why not?" he glanced at her in confusion.  
"Because we aren't even together. Because it will be confusing for the children. And what about my house?" she argued, feeling like she was on the verge of hysteria.  
"I want to see my children, Bella." He yelled, and then quickly glanced behind him, to check that Max and Violet didn't wake up.  
"You can see your children, Edward. Whenever you like, however you like, for as long as you like. I will do anything to make it easier on you. I'll go to therapy with you, by myself and with the children if you want me to if you think it will help.  
I'll own my shit and I'll put myself out there to be judged and gossiped about, for you and for my babies. But we will not be moving in with you." She crossed her arms and stared straight ahead at the road.

"I- okay." He sighed. "I know this is hard for you. I'm sorry."  
Bella snorted. "Shut up, Edward. It's my bed."  
"Yeah, you'll lay in it, too. But I'll lay in it with you."

She rolled her eyes.  
"Hey, do you think your parents would let me move in?"

Bella groaned.

* * *

 **A.N.**

 **A nice bit of fluff before we get into the nitty gritty.**

 **Thanks to EdwardsFirstKiss for being a super fast beta! :D**

 **What does the formatting look like to everyone? From my end, it seems okay, but some people said that it's not, and others say it's fine.**


	17. Chapter 17

Sunday afternoon came around too quickly, Edward thought.  
When he and Bella arrived at her parents' house on Saturday evening, Bella had invited him to help carry their sleeping children inside. 'Their children.' It was a concept that Edward was still getting his head around.  
"Normally I bath them before bed, it's easier than trying to get everything organized in the morning, but seeing as they're both asleep, we'll skip tonight," she whispered as she held Violet close to her. "Max is in Emmett's old room."

Once he was in Emmett's room, he didn't know what to do. He felt awkward and a little out of his depth.  
Bella tiptoed in behind him holding a pair of pajamas. "Put him down on the bed and I'll put his PJs on." She instructed.  
Edward did as he was told, then stood back and watched as Bella expertly wrestled a sleeping Max into his Batman pajamas, without waking him.

"How did you do that?" Edward asked in wonder.  
Bella laughed quietly. "Practice."  
"Is Violet okay?"  
Bella smirked. "Yeah, I learned my lesson with her though. Trying to dress Violet while she's awake is like wrestling with an octopus. Trying to dress her while she's asleep is like wrestling with an octopus on rollerblades." Edward could see the comparison.  
"So, I didn't bother. I just took her shorts off. She tends to undress herself when she's sleeping, anyway."

Bella walked Edward to his car, fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt.  
"I wanted to thank you for a great day, Edward. Both the kids had a great day."  
Edward wasn't normally one to need reassurance, but hearing that made him feel like he'd made the right choice in taking them to the beach and pier.  
"I'll be back tomorrow morning." He said as he pulled his keys from his pocket. "Do you need me to bring anything?"  
Bella shook her head. "You don't have to bring anything. If you want to be here when the kids get up, you had best get home to bed. Violet doesn't believe in sleep-ins."  
"We need to call Emmett tomorrow." He watched her face pale a little, knowing she was nervous. Once Emmett knew everything, everyone else would be told, and all hell was going to break loose.  
"I'll get Mom to look after the kids. Then maybe we can call a family dinner or meeting." She muttered as she looked away, trying to think of a plan.  
"You're not running?"  
"Tempted." She joked.

He stepped back towards the car and really looked at her. The t-shirt she was wearing had a pizza sauce stain on the shoulder from Violet rubbing her face on it. Her hair was pulled up in one of those messy bun things, and a few bits and pieces of her hair had fallen out during the day. Her nose was slightly burned and her mascara had smudged slightly from the water and the long day.  
After all these years, she was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Age had added a few lines around her eyes, and Edward liked to think it was from laughing at the kids.

"What are you looking at?" She asked, wiping at her face. "Have I got sauce on my face?" her face went pink in embarrassment.  
"No, Bella," he laughed. "I was just thinking that you look really good."  
"Oh." She said and tried to hide behind the bit of hair that had fallen out.  
"I'm going to go. I'll see you tomorrow morning and we can go over the game plan."  
She nodded, looking awkward.  
Feeling a little awkward himself, he waved and got into his car.

XXXFBFBXXX

Edward was at the Swan residence by six the next morning. Not a stranger to early mornings, as that's when Edward would try to fit in surfing before work, he walked into the house wide awake and ready for whatever was thrown at him.  
Bella was still in her sleep shorts and his old Superman t-shirt she had stolen all those years ago. She was carrying Violet around as she put waffles in the toaster and chatted quietly to Max.

"Good Morning," Edward said as he slid onto the stool, next to Max.  
"Hi," Max said back, his bowl of cereal untouched, his face looking pale and withdrawn.  
"Max, eat your cereal." She pointed at his Rice Krispies. "Hi. Violet's not feeling well and I think Max is coming down with something." She said to Edward.

Violet was resting her head on Bella's shoulder, holding her hand over her ear.  
"Is your ear sore, sweetheart?" Edward asked gently, trying to pry her hand away from her ear.  
Violet's eyes welled with tears and she nodded sadly.  
"Can I have a look?"  
Violet nodded and moved willingly into his arms.  
As Edward checked Violet over, Bella busied herself in the kitchen by making coffee and trying to convince Max to eat his breakfast.

"She's okay; I think that maybe some water got into her ear yesterday at the beach." He frowned; he had thought the beach was a good idea at the time, completely forgetting that Violet had an ear infection.  
"We shouldn't have gone swimming yesterday." He said guiltily.  
Bella shook her head. "I forgot too. Don't worry."  
But Edward did worry. Earaches were painful, especially for children.  
"Have you given her anything for the pain?"  
Bella shook her head. "Not yet, I wanted her to eat something first." She carried his coffee over and tried to smooth Violet's hair down that was sticking up in all directions.  
She knelt down and smiled gently at Violet. "Let's eat something and then we can get some medicine."  
Violet sniffed pitifully and nodded.  
"You know she's really feeling awful when she can't get excited about waffles." Bella joked.  
Edward gave her a weak smile.

It took both Edward's and Bella's encouragement to get both kids to finish their breakfast. Edward, a little worried about how quiet Max was, checked his temperature.  
His forehead was a little warm. Checking his glands in his neck, he felt them to be a little swollen.  
"Looks like we've got a day watching movies." Declared Edward. "Why don't you grab what you need and we can go to my house? Emmett is meeting us there at midday, anyway."

Renee and Charlie made their appearance during a five-minute standoff between Bella and Violet, who was insisting on taking Hamish with her to Edward's.  
"Morning." Charlie nodded his head at Edward and poured himself a cup of coffee.  
"Morning Chief. Renee."  
Renee gave him a warm smile and patted him on the shoulder. "Bella tells us there is a family meeting tonight. Is your mom coming?" she said with a hint of worry.  
Edward nodded. Last night, he had text Emmett and asked to meet with him, and then had called his mom, asking her if she could come by for a family meeting.  
Esme immediately got excited, thinking that Edward and Bella were announcing their relationship.  
Bella was right. Esme would find this very difficult to get over. If Edward was honest, he was worried that Esme and Bella's relationship would forever be damaged.

When they got to his house, Bella made herself busy pulling all the cushions off the sofa, making a big soft bed of sorts on the floor with blankets and sheets she had pulled off Edward's bed.  
Edward busied himself making popcorn in the kitchen and listened to Bella tell Max off for pushing his little sister.  
"She's smaller than you. You have to be gentle." She scolded gently.  
"Mommy, Violet is never gentle," Max argued back.  
Bella didn't have anything to say to that, which made Edward laugh.  
"Well, be that as it may, she's your little sister and you have to be nice."  
"Maxy, Be NICE." Demanded Violet. He heard a scuffle and then tears from Max.  
"Violet!" Yelled Bella. "Time out, young lady."  
"I'M NOT A YOUNG LADY. I'M VIOLET." She screeched back.  
"Your something alright," Bella muttered.

Carrying the popcorn out, Edward had to cover his laugh with a cough when he saw Violet, sitting on the piano stool in the corner of the room. Her arms crossed over her chest and a look of thunder on her face.  
"I wonder where she gets that from." Edward said with a nod in her direction.  
Bella narrowed her eyes. "Not from my side, that's for sure."  
"How long does she have to stay there?" Edward whispered as he sat down, making himself comfortable on the makeshift bed.  
"Two minutes. One for every year of her life. I saw it on super nanny." She shrugged her shoulders.  
"Who the ff-, who is Super Nanny?" Edward said, catching himself before he swore in front of the kids.  
"The lady who goes around to people's houses and tells them how to parent their badly behaved children." Bella shrugged. "One of the ladies from the old playgroup I used to go to with Max swore by her."  
Bella dramatically looked at her watch and counted down from ten. "Come here, Violet."  
They both watched as Violet slid off the stool and stomped over to where they were sitting.  
"We do not hit people, Violet. Now, say sorry to your brother and we can watch a movie."  
Violet glared at Bella and turned to Max. "Sowee." She muttered.  
"Properly," Bella warned.  
Violet sighed dramatically and slumped her shoulders. "Sowee Maxy."  
Max gave her a little smile. "Thank you, Violet," Max said kindly.

Together, they lay back and watched The Lorax and then Frozen. Edward could not hide his shock when Violet launched herself up and onto his coffee table where she sang every song, word for word, loudly and off key.  
"That's…"  
"Yes," Bella agreed. "It's amazing."

When Violet had tired herself out from her performance, she crawled onto the bed and fell quickly asleep, her foot in Edward's face and her elbow in Bella's side.  
Edward lie back on the pillow and let Max cuddle into his side as they found a nature show and it wasn't long before Max was asleep as well.  
"I like them best when they're like this," joked Bella in a whisper.  
"It's so quiet." He said, already missing their loudness.  
"They'll be awake soon enough. Don't wish it away."

Emmett walked in at eleven-thirty; half an hour early. Which was a miracle as Emmett was never early for anything.  
He stood in the doorway, still holding the front door knob in his hand with a look of confusion on his face.  
"Why are you here?" he looked at Bella and frowned.  
"Kids are sick, so we're watching movies."  
Emmett glanced at the kids and noticed Max curled into Edward.

"What's going on?"  
Bella gently untangled herself from a snoring Violet and got to her feet.  
"I'll make coffee." She said, disappearing into the kitchen.  
Edward had a little more difficulty getting up and off the bed without waking the kids.  
"Let's go out to the porch. We could do with some fresh air." What Edward meant was, if, and when Emmett blew his top and punched Edward in the face, the kids wouldn't see anything.

Emmett followed Edward looking suspicious.  
"Is this that conversation we were going to have soon?"  
"Yes." Edward rubbed his face already feeling sick.

Bella carefully carried three cups of coffee and handed them out, before sitting on the steps, reminding Edward of how she had told him that he was a father.  
He sat next to her and gave her leg a squeeze in support. This was the start of Bella being honest and telling the truth. Emmett's reaction would give them both a preview of what they were looking at when everyone else found out.

"We, ah, Um…" Bella licked her bottom lip and swallowed.  
"Spit it out, Bella," Emmett said looking nervous.  
"You know that time when you asked me if there was anything going on between Edward and me?"

Emmett rolled his eyes.

"Bella, everyone knew that you guys were together. I even knew."  
Edward could hear the rush of blood in his ears. "What? You knew?"  
"You didn't hide it very well. It was pretty obvious when you were both makin' moon faces at each other across the table whenever we went out."

Bella's eyes narrowed. "Why didn't you say anything?" she said in exasperation.  
"Well, I don't know, I just thought that you would come to me and tell me first." Edward saw a flicker of hurt in his eyes.

"I…" Bella looked distressed. "Shit."

"So are you telling me that you guys are back together again?" Emmett rubbed the back of his neck. "It looked pretty cozy in there." He gestured to the house.  
"Not quite," Edward said slowly.  
Emmett frowned in confusion. "Then why am I here?"

"Em, Edward is Max and Violet's biological father," Bella confessed.

Emmett dropped his coffee cup.

The dark liquid spilled on his jeans, but he didn't seem to notice.  
Emmett looked between Edward and Bella and narrowed his eyes.

"You cheated on Jake?"  
Bella nodded.  
"Does he know?"  
Bella nodded again.

"I need to sit down." Emmett stumbled to one of the chairs on the porch. "Both of them?"  
"Yes."

Emmett rolled his lips together and frowned.  
"How can you be sure?"

Edward felt a little fission of irritation, at the insinuation that those children might not be his. Before he could argue, Bella shook her head.  
"They are his. We can run DNA tests if you want." She turned to Edward. "I promise you, they are yours, but if you need reassurance…"  
"Bella, I don't need DNA tests. I know."  
Saying that he didn't need DNA tests to prove anything was a strange relief. He knew with every fiber of his being that those children were his.

"How long have you known?"  
Edward and Bella were quiet. Bella was waiting for Edward to step in and rescue her. There was a part of him that desperately wanted to lie to everyone for her.  
Lie and say that he knew all along. He'd take the blame, he'd look like a jerk, sure, but they'd all forgive him, eventually.  
Bella though, there were people who might not ever forgive her for her actions.

Edward went to open his mouth when Bella blurted it out.

"Four days ago," she swallowed. "I told him four days ago."

Bella was pale and shaking. Moving his hand slightly, he gripped her little finger with his.  
"What. The. Fuck."  
Bella couldn't look him in the eye, her shame painted on her cheeks.

"Oh fuck. Bella. What have you done?" Emmett asked seriously.  
Emmett's size, his kind, open face and his good humor, made everyone believe that he wasn't smart, and that he lacked the capacity to be serious.  
That was, until you got to know him. He was still kind and funny and acted like a goof, but he could also be extremely deadly when it came to his friends and family.

"How could you do that?" he asked, his face scrunched up in disbelief.  
"How could you do that to your kids? Do they know?"  
Bella licked her bottom lip and shook her head.  
"So, they don't know that Edward is their daddy?" he bellowed.  
"How could you be so fucking selfish, Bella?"  
"How could you do that to Edward?"

Edward sat next to Bella, holding her pinky, silently supporting her, but at the same time, he was hurting.  
Emmett's words were hitting both of them in their guts.  
"What are you going to do?" Emmett looked at Edward with a look of pain for his friend.

Edward shrugged. "Be a dad."  
"That's awesome man, but what about Bella?"  
"What about me?" she whispered.

"How can you be holding her hand right now?" he turned to Bella, "I love you, you're my baby sister and nothing will ever change that, but you don't deserve that man holding your hand right now. If it was anyone else, they would have told you to go get fucked." He was pointing his finger at her as he yelled. "And they would be one hundred percent be in the right for doing so."

Bella nodded. "I know."

Emmett shook his head a couple of times as if he was trying to work out how to make this okay.

"Mom is going to lose her shit." His eyes widened, "And Esme. How could you keep those babies from her? I can't believe you would do something so fucked up.  
I can't even look at you." Emmett turned away from her and clenched his jaw.

"Em," Bella started, her voice shaking.  
"No, Bella. This is some fucking Jerry Springer shit." He ran his hands over his face and took a deep breath. "Are you guys going to get married?"  
Edward shook his head. "She'd say no if I asked."  
"I'd say no because I'm still married, Edward," Bella argued gently.  
"So, you're saying if I asked you to marry me right now, you'd say yes?" Edward snapped.  
"Well, no- I…" Bella gulped. "That is not important right now."

Emmett shook his head in disbelief. "Of course that is important. Are you going to string Edward along like you obviously did Jake? I didn't realize you were such a- "

"Okay. That's enough." Edward interrupted before Emmett said something he wouldn't be able to take back. "She didn't ever string me along, Emmett. I'm just as much to blame for our relationship being a disaster as she was."  
"But she fucking lied to you!" Emmett argued.  
"Yeah she did." Edward agreed. "But I don't want to turn this into a she did this, and I did that, thing. We'd be here all fucking year if we did that." He said firmly.

"I should go and check on the kids." Bella muttered and got up to go in the house.

Emmett turned to his sister with a sad look on his face.  
"I didn't mean it." He said.  
She shrugged as she went to walk past him. "You didn't say it." She said in a monotonous voice.  
"Bella," he pleaded.  
She shook her head. "It's fine," she turned to Edward, "I'm going to see what you have in the kitchen and then run to the store."

Edward nodded and watched her go, feeling conflicted.

"Do you love her?"  
Edward looked at Emmett; his best friend for twenty-seven years.  
"Yeah."  
"Don't sound so happy about it." Emmett tried to lighten the mood.  
Edward gave a crooked smile. "It's more than love. I'm hers. She's mine. She's always been mine. Even when she was with Jacob."  
"You know that's fucked up, right?"  
"Of course, I know. But it's the way it is."

Emmett looked into the house and back at Edward.  
"Did you think they could have been yours? Before she told you?"  
Edward shrugged. He'd thought about it a lot since Bella's confession.  
"I thought, maybe with Max. But I never saw him to know for sure. I tried not to listen to gossip about her when we weren't together."  
"And what about when you saw them?"  
"I thought there was a very strong chance. I asked her, she told me. I didn't think Violet was mine."  
"And? How do you feel about all of it?"

Edward knew that Bella was listening to their conversation.

"When she told me, I thought I was going to pass out. I fucking cried like a baby.  
I wanted them. As soon as I saw them, I wanted them. And they're mine.  
I'm not letting them go, Em. If she runs, I'll hunt her down. Max and Violet are mine." He said loudly and firmly.

Emmett let it all sink in for a bit. "So, what now?"

Edward shrugged. "Right now? No fucking idea. We're taking it slow, day by day. It's not what I want. I want it all now. I want those kids with my last name. I want them in my house and with me forever. I want to take out a fucking advertisement in the paper and claim them as mine."

"And where does Bella fit into this?"  
"You told me when we were five that I wasn't allowed to marry your sister." Edward joked.  
"Yeah, but I was five. I ate dog food when I was five too." Emmett replied as if it was no big deal.

Emmett left a while later after having a private talk with Bella.  
Edward had gone inside to see what Max and Violet were doing and found them both sitting at his kitchen table coloring.  
Max was coloring in a scene of dinosaurs, meticulously choosing the correct colors and trying to color within the lines, his little tongue poking out of the side of his mouth in concentration.  
Violet was drawing something on a blank piece of paper, big jaunty scribbles and odd shapes covered the page in bright colors.

"What are you drawing?" Edward leaned over Violet, resting his arms on either side of her.  
"A scribble." Violet looked at Edward as if he was stupid.  
Feeling stupid Edward nodded in understanding. "Ah, of course, it is. Silly me."

"Silly Mine."  
Edward looked at Max in confusion. "Did she just call me 'mine'?"  
"You said that we were 'mine'." he replied.  
"Mine," Violet said happily and chose a bright yellow crayon.  
"And then Mommy cried." A look of worry crossed Max's face.

Edward looked up and saw Bella standing in the kitchen, her nose red and cheeks blotchy from crying.

"You're upset," Edward said.  
Bella shook her head. "I'm okay." She sniffed and looked away, her chin wobbling.  
"Bella." He sighed.  
"I said I'm fine." She said with a thick voice. "I need to start the Lasagna."  
"You're making lasagna?"  
"It will feed everyone. Emmett is bringing Rose."

Edward balked. "What? Why?"

Bella shrugged. "He said he wants everyone to meet her. I told him it wasn't a good idea, especially not tonight, but he said it was the perfect time. He said that people will behave themselves, and show Rose what she's getting herself into."  
Edward cocked his head. "You know… I think he's right. And I'll deny it if you ever tell him I said that."  
Bella rolled her eyes. "What a wonderful introduction to our family." She said sarcastically.

Edward grinned. "Say that again."  
"What?" she frowned. She opened and closed cupboards looking for things that she needed. Pulling out a chopping board, she started to peel an onion.  
"The last thing you said."  
"What a wonderful introduction to our family?" she asked with a question.  
"You said our family. You and me."

Bella stopped chopping and looked up at Edward.

"You are my family. You've always been my family." She said softly.

* * *

A.N

thank you EdwardsFirstKiss for being the best Beta ever.

Hold on to your panties ladies (and men...if there are any reading this?)  
Next Chapter is the family dinner and the truth is revealed to everyone.  
I do NOT envy Bella right now.


	18. Chapter 18

Bella needed to get away. She wanted to run for the hills. Pick up her children and go live somewhere far away where no one knew who she was and what she had done.  
She listened to Edward and Emmett talk, feeling guilty that she was listening to their conversation.

"How do you feel about all of it?" Emmett's deep voice carried loudly.  
"When she told me, I thought I was going to pass out. I fucking cried like a baby.  
I wanted them. As soon as I saw them, I wanted them. And they're actually mine.  
I'm not letting them go, Em. If she runs, I'll hunt her down. Max and Violet are mine."

Bella put her head in her hands and cried.  
Of all the stupid, awful things she'd done…  
And she still wanted to run. Not from Edward. She couldn't do that again. It would kill them both. But running from her family and from the town that was surely going to judge and condemn her, she was all for that.

Edward could have reacted in so many ways.  
He could have told her he never wanted to see her ever again.  
He could have called his lawyer and threatened to take the children away from her.  
He could have denied that they were his.  
He didn't do any of these things. Instead, he rejoiced in the knowledge that he was a father.  
Edward was proud of his children, loved them instantly and without restraint and had shown an understanding of some of Bella's actions.  
Not all, but Bella didn't understand them herself, so how was he expected to?

"So, what now?" Emmett asked.  
Bella heard Edward pause.  
"Right now? No fucking idea. We're taking it slow. Day-by-day. It's not what I want. I want it all now. I want those kids with my last name. I want them in my house and with me forever. I want to take out a fucking advertisement in the paper and claim them as mine."

"Mommy, why are you crying?" Max crawled into her lap and put his little arms around her neck.  
Bella wiped her eyes and gave him a watery smile. "Mommy isn't crying baby, my eyes are just a little sore."  
"You need medcin?" Max asked. "Edward will have some. Want me to go ask?"  
Bella kissed Max on the head and earned a scowl from him.  
"No, it's okay. I have to run to the store real quick. What dessert do you want tonight?"  
"Brownies!" both Max and Violet yelled, throwing their fists in the air in excitement.  
"Brownies it is then!"

XXXFBFBXXX

Bella went through Edward's kitchen, trying to decide on what to make for everyone.  
His kitchen was a dream kitchen, with a big island and breakfast bar.  
The upper cabinets were painted white, but Edward had painted the lower cupboards and the island navy blue. It was beautiful, but masculine at the same time. Bella suspected that Esme had a hand in helping in the design and decoration of Edward's home.  
He didn't have anything out on the counters, apart from a coffee machine, that Bella guessed was the most used appliance in the house.

She checked the pantry, and saw a box of lasagna noodles, so that made her mind up. She'd make big lasagna, a salad, buy some garlic bread and make brownies for dessert.  
Maybe she could ply everyone with alcohol too, so when she told everyone what she'd done, they'd be too drunk to be mad.

Setting the kids up at the kitchen table with some coloring pages and crayons, Bella hoped it would be enough to distract them while she rushed down to the store.  
"Please be good." She begged, slightly worried that Violet would take to Edward's lovely kitchen with her crayons. "Do not do anything naughty. Violet, look at me." Bella pointed at her daughter, who was giving her mother a 'butter wouldn't melt' look. "Be very good for Edward, and you can have a treat."

"What about me?" Max complained.  
"You too." Bella promised.  
"Better not be something boring like a box of 'tanas." Max muttered under his breath.  
Bella coughed, covering her laugh. She _had_ intended on giving them each a box of sultanas as a treat.

Edward and Emmett were still talking when Bella tried to sneak out of the house. Realizing that she didn't have her car, she'd have to ask Edward if she could borrow his car.  
"Can I take your car to the store?"  
Edward nodded. "Sure, let me get the keys." Edward raced inside, leaving Bella and Emmett standing around awkwardly.  
He went to open his mouth and say something when Edward appeared with the keys.  
"Here." He handed them over and squeezed her hand.  
"Thanks. I'm getting groceries for dinner; do you need me to pick up anything else?"  
He shook his head "No, I've got beer and wine, if anyone wants them."  
Bella turned to leave, blushing slightly when Edward bent forward and kissed her on the cheek.

"Um, before you go, and I get out of your hair, can I talk to you for a second?" Emmett asked.  
She wanted to groan, knowing that whatever Emmett had to say, would upset her further, but she agreed. He'd only say it, anyway.  
"I'll head inside to check on the kids. See you tonight Em. And Thanks." Edward gave Emmett a hug. Emmett always one for affection, wrapped his big arms around Edward and lifted him up, squeezing hard.  
"Anytime, brother. Anytime."  
They exchanged a meaningful glance and Edward trotted inside, closing the front door.

Bella sank down to what was fast becoming her step.  
"What did you want to talk to me about?" Bella asked, dreading all the things that Emmett could decide to bring up.  
"I wanted to say that I'm sorry for insulting you."

Bella looked up and saw the look of sincerity on Emmett's face.  
"Really, sis, I was angry and I don't think that about you."  
Bella rolled her mouth between her teeth. "It's nothing that I haven't thought about myself, Em." She said quietly.

Emmett looked like he was in pain.  
He sat down next to Bella and put his arm around her.  
"Do you love Edward?"  
Bella's bottom lip trembled. "Yes." She said thickly. "I've always loved him. I was hurt, he was hurt, and we did some shitty things to each other; it's unhealthy and dysfunctional, but I've never stopped loving him. Even when I hated him, I loved him."

Emmett tightened his hold on her shoulder.  
"Whatever happens tonight Belly, I love you, okay? You've really fucked up. But from where I see it, Edward did too, kinda. So you've got that going for you at least?"  
Bella nodded, feeling that if she at least had Emmett and Edward by her side, she'd survive the evening.  
"I'm going to bring Rose along tonight."  
Bella screwed her face up. "What? Why would you do that? Are you going to use my train wreck of a life to break up with that poor girl?" Bella demanded.

Emmett laughed and got to his feet. "No, maybe with a guest around, Mom and Dad as well as Esme and Alice won't lose their shit entirely." And then he grinned. "Also, it's perfect timing. If Rose can survive tonight's intense family drama, then I think I've found the one."

"You're making lasagna?" Edward's eyes were bright. It was his all-time favorite food, but Bella wasn't just making it, to please him.  
"It will feed everyone. Emmett is bringing Rose."  
"What? Why?" Edward's face was a picture of shock.

Shrugging, she washed her hands in the kitchen sink. "He said he wants everyone to meet her. I told him it wasn't a good idea, especially not tonight, but he said it was a perfect time. He said that people will behave themselves, and show Rose what she's getting herself into."  
Edward cocked his head to the side with a smile. "You know… I think he's right. And I'll deny it if you ever tell him I said that."

"What a wonderful introduction to our family." She said sarcastically and rolled her eyes. Bella was sure that Rose already thought she was a complete idiot after the bathroom pipe explosion debacle.  
She peeled and started chopping the onion into little pieces.  
Edward grinned. "Say that again."  
"What?" she frowned.  
"The last thing you said."  
"What a wonderful introduction to our family?" she asked with a question.  
"You said our family. You and me."  
Bella stopped chopping and looked up at Edward.  
"You are my family. You've always been my family." She said softly.

Edward's face went soft. He walked into the kitchen and pulled her into his arms.  
Bella gently put the knife down, and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest.  
He placed a kiss on her head and breathed her in.

"MINE." Violet bellowed when she realized she wasn't getting all the attention and climbed down from her chair.  
She wrapped her sticky hands around Edward's legs and demanded to be picked up.  
Edward lifted her into his arms and snuggled her tight.

While Bella cooked and watched the children, Edward had disappeared to run some errands.  
He arrived home with car seats for both of the kids for his car and a special booster seat for Violet, so she could sit at his table like a big girl, much to her excitement, and some other items that he thought he should have at his house.

Bella looked at everything he'd bought and made the appropriate noises of approval, seeing the excitement in his face at buying a set of children's cutlery, plastic cups and plates, bath toys, the biggest box of baby wipes she'd ever seen and an assortment of children's DVD's, books and educational games.

"How much did you spend, Edward?"  
Edward shrugged and helped Violet open the box of Duplo's he'd bought.  
"Don't worry about it." He said distractedly.  
"I just don't want you to be spending all your money on things that aren't needed."

Edward put the box of Duplo's down and stepped away from Violet.

"Bella," he said with a controlled voice, "I haven't been able to buy MY children anything in the last four years. I hardly think spending a couple hundred bucks at Toys R Us is going to break the bank. And as for things that aren't needed?  
They need things to play with here. I _want_ to buy them things.  
If I want to spend a million fucking dollars on fucking Legos then I will and you can't do anything about it." He hissed. Edward's hands were on his hips and his chest rose and fell quickly in irritation.

Bella's instant reaction was to argue and then flee.

Biting down on her bottom lip, she nodded instead, muttered that she was sorry and fled into the kitchen to check on the lasagna.  
Edward was entitled to buy his children whatever they needed. It wasn't just Bella anymore, she had to remind herself.  
Checking the clock, and seeing that the family would start arriving at any moment, Bella gathered cutlery, and started setting the table.  
Feeling Edward approach, her back went rigid. She didn't want to fight with him before she had to face everyone. It was going to be hard enough confessing everything to them.  
He hugged her from behind, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I'm not apologizing." He pouted.  
"I wasn't asking you to." Bella responded, straightening a wine glass. "You're allowed to buy your kids things."  
"I am." He agreed. "But next time, I can talk to you about it before I do it."  
Bella shrugged. As long as he wasn't buying Violet a pony, or Max a gun…that should have been the other way around. As long as he wasn't buying Max a pony and Violet a gun, what he purchased for the kids, didn't matter. He'd missed out on so much. If he wanted to buy an entire library of Sesame Street, or Doc McStuffins, he was welcome to do it.

They heard the door slam open and Alice yelling at Lucy to be careful at the same time the oven timer went off.  
Nerves shot through Bella, and she grabbed hold of Edward's arm.  
"I don't think I can do this, Edward."  
He kissed her temple and moved away from her. "You can. I'll hold your hand."

XXXFBFBXXX

The house was bustling with people.  
Emmett was proudly introducing a shy Rose to everyone; Esme was helping Violet build a tower of blocks. Alice walked into the kitchen and kissed Bella on the cheek.  
"I haven't seen you in days." She complained.  
Bella smiled, feeling stressed. "I know. I'm sorry. It's been crazy busy."  
Alice narrowed her eyes. "Are you going to tell me what this dinner is about?"  
Bella opened her mouth to spill when Charlie and Renee arrived.

"Sorry we're running a little late, darling. Your father went fishing and lost track of the time." Renee narrowed her eyes at her husband.  
Charlie scowled back. "You can't keep track of time when you fish woman, the fish will know you're impatient."  
Alice scrunched up her face. "Retirement is going to ruin you."  
"I'm moving out. Maybe I'll go live in Arizona." Renee joked.  
"You would never leave me." Charlie grumped.  
"Well, show up on time, and I won't have to." Renee replied, leaning in and kissing Charlie on the cheek.

"Gross." Max declared, who had just walked in at that moment. "No kissing please."  
Renee smiled wickedly at Max and started creeping towards him. "I'm your grandmother. It's in my job description to kiss you."  
Max started backing up, giggling.  
Renee took off after Max, his loud shrieks and giggles following after them.

It wasn't lost on Bella that Charlie was avoiding her.  
Since their conversation the other night, he'd hardly spoken two words to her.  
Alice took a beer out to Jasper, leaving Charlie and Bella alone together in the kitchen.  
"Are you telling everyone tonight?" Charlie asked, studying the wall intently.  
"Yes." Bella replied, wringing a tea towel in her hands.  
Charlie nodded.  
"Good. I haven't told your mother everything…"  
Bella felt her stomach twist. Her father was now keeping secrets from his wife because of her actions.

"I'll make it right, Dad."

With a stiff nod and a pat on the shoulder, Charlie strode out of the room.

XXXFBFBXXX

Trying to fit everyone around Edward's dining table was not going to work, so Bella set Max and Lucy up at the breakfast bar to eat, while Violet moved between Bella and Edward, happily demanding they both share.

Esme was practically giddy with excitement. Bella didn't miss the excited looks that Renee and Esme were giving each other. You could practically hear them silently conversing about wedding parties, color themes and venues.

"MINE. YOU SHARE MY DRINK?"  
Edward looked at the cup that Violet was thrusting in his face. It was filled with some watered down juice that Bella had given her. It also had a few pieces of garlic bread floating in it.  
"No thank you, baby. Why don't you share some of mine?" He lifted his glass of water to violet's mouth. She gulped the water down as if she was parched, letting out a loud "AHH" when she was done.  
"Why does she call you that, Edward?" Renee looked confused.  
"She also calls him Superman." Bella said quickly, trying to deflect.

Esme was sitting back in her chair holding her glass of wine, looking between Edward and Violet then Bella.  
Emmett squirmed in his chair, and Charlie cleared his throat.

"Edward…" Esme said  
"MINE." Violet corrected her and patted his head. "He's mine superman." She said more quietly. The women at the table all melted.

After dinner, Edward put Frozen on the TV and gave the children a brownie for dessert, giving the adults the opportunity to talk without little ears listening in.  
Bella was telling Alice and Jasper about the arcade still being open in Sunvale when Bella felt Edward's hand squeeze her knee, telling her that it was probably time to start talking.

"So, Bella and I have to talk to you about something." Edward interrupted everyone.  
Bella felt like she was going to lose her dinner the way her stomach was twisting.  
Esme's eyes lit up with happiness. Bella wanted to cry.  
"Edward and I- I mean, we're, oh God." Bella felt her eyes well up.  
"It's okay." He whispered.  
"What's going on?" Alice asked, looking between the two of them.  
"Are you back together?" she blurted out, then shoved her hand over her mouth, looking at Emmett.  
Emmett rolled his eyes. "I already know. It's like, the worst kept secret in the world."  
"No."  
"Yes."  
They both said at the same time.  
Edward frowned at Bella.  
"Stop it," she hissed. "That isn't helping."  
"Well, it might." He bickered back.

"Guys?" Emmett interrupted with his eyebrows raised.  
"Sorry." Bella licked her bottom lip. "Okay. We aren't back together because there are other more important things to deal with."  
"Like?" Renee asked with a frown.  
"Renee, Charlie, Mom…" Edward looked between their parents, and then glanced at Emmett, Jasper and Alice.  
"I know this is going to be a really big shock, so I beg of you, please think before you say anything that you might not be able to take back."

Emmett and Edward shared a meaningful look.  
Rose, who was sitting quietly next to Emmett, stood up from the table.  
"As much as I'm curious about what is going on, I think this sounds like a family thing. I'll go and sit with the kids and get a Disney fix."  
Bella felt so grateful to Rose in that moment, she could have thrown herself at her feet.  
Before Emmett could protest, Bella thanked her, shooting her a grateful look.  
They all waited for Rose to leave, turning their heads back to Edward and Bella.  
Edward took Bella's hand in his. "Okay." He whispered to her.  
Her palms were so sweaty, she wondered if Edward had noticed.

"Edward and I had, I mean, we did, do, ahh shit. Edward?" Bella's mouth was incredibly dry.  
He looked at her and smiled. "It's okay, Bella." He held her hand tighter, and the panic started to recede.  
"I- Edward and I had an affair."

Alice huffed. "I knew it." She said under her breath. "There was that time that-"  
Jasper put his hand over her mouth. "shh." Alice's eyes narrowed as she muffled her annoyance at her husband.  
"It was only a few times, but all the same, it happened. Jacob knew. He knew right away, I never kept if from him."  
"Edward!" Esme admonished. "How could you do something like that?" she looked at both of them with disappointment.

Edward gave a sad smile. "I love Isabella, Mom. I've always loved her. Not being with her was hell. You know how miserable I was. We didn't set out for it to happen, it just did. It wasn't right, it hurt us, it hurt Jacob, but I'm not sorry and I'll never apologize for doing it."

Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was now, or never. She knew that Edward was desperate to be able to publically claim their children as his. For him to do that, she had to do this for him.  
"What I'm trying to tell you all is that Max and Violet are not Jacob's children."  
"What are you saying?" Esme had gone pale. "Are you saying what I think you are?"  
Bella nodded.  
"Yes. Max and Violet are Edward's biological children."

Esme burst into tears. Renee put her arm around her friend and looked over at Bella and Edward in shock.  
"Why did you keep this from us?" her eyes flashed with anger.  
"I didn't." Edward said. "I didn't know."  
Esme looked at Edward. "You didn't know you'd fathered those children? Really? You're a doctor for crying out loud, Edward. Do you know how to count 9 months?"

"Wait." Alice interrupted Esme. "You didn't know? When did you find out?"  
Edward let go of Bella's hand. She wanted to grab hold of him desperately. She needed him as her lifeline.  
He ran both his hands through his hair, the ends sticking up in different directions.  
"Not long ago."

Esme leapt to her feet. "You mean to tell me that she kept it hidden from you all this time?"  
Bella stood up too, the urge to run almost overwhelming. She held on to the side of the table as if it would ground her.  
"I did. I didn't tell him, I thought that he had moved on." Bella gave Esme a pointed look. "I went to his work, I went to go and talk to him, but he was with someone else and I panicked. I just panicked." Bella cried.

"I didn't know what to do, we weren't together anymore, I'd just left Jacob, and I didn't know what to do."  
"So you what? You saw him with someone else and you went crawling back to your husband?" sneered Esme.  
"Yes." Bella said sadly.

"I can't believe you would do something so disgusting." Renee raged. "You kept those babies from their father. Finding out he'd maybe moved on is not a good enough reason to hide his children from him, Isabella. How petty could you be?"  
"I didn't do it to punish him because he'd moved on. He should have moved on. He _should_ move on." Bella said desperately.

"Well, you said it." Esme yelled.  
"Mom." Edward said in warning.  
"No, Edward. You will listen to me. That, that _bitch_ stole from you. She stole memories you can never get back. What about your father? What about him? He died without ever knowing he had grandbabies." Esme was pointing accusingly at Bella, her face red with rage.

The whole table then erupted.

Renee started on Edward for not going after Bella all those years ago, Edward was screaming at Esme to stop screaming at Bella, Esme screaming vicious names at Bella, Alice telling Esme to back off with the name calling, and then turning on Bella for lying. Jasper trying to calm his wife down. And Bella? Bella cried.

This was exactly why she hadn't told anyone. The longer she had kept her secret, the more damaging it had become, and this family was now damaged.

"ENOUGH." Charlie yelled.

The table went silent, apart from Bella's crying and Esme and Renee's sniffling.  
Esme nodded. "Yes. It is enough. I'm leaving. Edward, if you have any sense, you'll take those babies and run for the hills. And You." She looked at Bella. "You should be ashamed of yourself, you, you slut." She stormed past Bella and out of the house before anyone could stop her.

Bella sat heavily in her chair.

"Edward, you should go after her. Make sure she gets home okay." She said dully.  
He looked to Bella and then towards the door, clearly torn as what to do.  
"She will be okay. I'll call her later."  
"She's your mom," Bella said softly.  
"And you're the mom of my children." He replied, firmly making his mind up.

"I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in anyone in my entire life." Renee said sadly.  
Bella bit her lip and nodded.  
"Esme is right. You should be ashamed of yourself. I think right now, we need some space. Let me calm down." Renee stood and looked to Charlie. "I'm going home."

Charlie got to his feet, looking at Bella sadly.

"I'll come by tomorrow." He walked past her, patting her on the shoulder. She put her hand up and squeezed his hand.

Emmett, Alice and Jasper remained at the table, looking a little shell-shocked.  
"How come you told Emmett before me?" Alice demanded.  
Jasper rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "For crying out loud Alice. Of all that happened tonight that's what you're pissed about?" he asked in exasperation.  
Alice shrugged sulkily. "I'm the sister. She should tell me everything."

Bella suddenly felt extremely exhausted.  
"He only knew a couple of hours before you did, Alice."  
"Well, you could have called me right afterward." She pouted.  
"ALICE!" Jasper elbowed his wife. "Oh my God. Stop."  
"I didn't want you to be angry with me." Bella looked out the window, dark thunderclouds had moved in, covering the stars.  
"Babe, I'm not angry at you. I always knew that you and Edward were going to end up together."  
"We aren't together." Bella said flatly.  
"Pfft. Yes, you are. You're just not having sex." She stated bluntly.  
"Told you," Edward said.

Rose poked her head round the corner with wide eyes. "Is it okay for me to come in?"  
Emmett grinned and patted the chair next to him. "The drama is over."  
"I'm really sorry that my idiot brother tried to bring you into this craziness." Bella apologized.  
Rose waved her off. "Don't mention it. My family is just as dysfunctional as yours."  
Emmett put his arm around Rose and pulled her closer, kissing her on the head.

"Do you want me to go and get your stuff from home?" Alice asked Bella.  
"Yes." Edward answered for Bella. He rubbed her back in a soothing circular motion.  
"You're staying with me tonight." He said. Bella went to object, but realized the only other options were the sofa at Alice's house, or the half renovated house next door.  
"Okay, but only until I can get the house finished." She turned to Emmett and Jasper "Can you help me?"  
Jasper and Emmett had a silent conversation and then nodded.  
"It's going to cost you." Jasper drawled.  
Bella swallowed heavily. She had a little money left from her savings and now that she was working, she could afford to put some cash aside to pay the boys.  
"How much? Can I pay you in installments?"  
Emmett made a face and rolled his eyes. "You can pay us in lasagna."  
"And brownies." Jasper added.

Emmett and Jasper went over to Bella's house to see what needed to be done first to get her house in a somewhat livable condition while Alice went to collect Bella and the kid's things.  
Rose, Edward and Bella cleaned the kitchen talking quietly amongst themselves, aware that the kids were in the living room and could hear what was being said.  
"I don't want to pry, but I kind of got an idea of what went down tonight." Rose said gently.  
Bella felt her face go red in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. You must think I'm a terrible person."  
Rose laughed. "Nah, you fucked up and now you're owning it. If you need to talk to someone that isn't involved, you can always call me. I'll get Em to give you my number."  
Bella was immensely touched by the offer. It had been hard for Bella to make real friends in the city; the women she knew were either the wives of Jacob's business partners and associates or the competitive mom's at the playgroups she used to force herself to go to.

After Rose had said her goodnights and went to find Emmett next door, Bella stumbled into the living room to find Edward had carried Violet and Max to bed.

"Where are they?" she asked, looking down the hall.  
"In the room opposite mine. I've got the other room set up as a home office, but I never use it, so I'll clear it out so the kids don't have to share."  
"We aren't moving in with you, Edward."  
"Looks to me like you are." He argued gently. "Even if it's just temporary."

Alice arrived a little while later with all of Bella's things, looking harassed.

"That woman." She grumbled. Bella assumed she was talking about Renee.  
"What?" Bella asked.  
"First she was yelling at me. _Me_!" screeched Alice. "Then when I started packing up your things, she started crying, saying that you were going to run off and no-one would see Max and Violet again." Alice rolled her eyes. "As if Edward would let that happen. Right Ed."

Edward nodded firmly. "She's not going anywhere." He gave her a meaningful look, answering both Alice's question and their argument over them moving in.

Alice gave an evil little smile. "Good."  
"Then," continued Alice, "She started ranting and raving about how this has ruined her relationship with Esme, because she called you a slut and now she has to defend you, because you're her daughter, even if she thinks you _are_ a…"

Bella swallowed back a sob.

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry." Alice tried to soothe Bella, "Shit. Jasper keeps telling me to shut my damn mouth. I need to start listening to him."  
"It would probably be for the best." Remarked Edward. "Time to leave, Alice."

Alice held Bella for a long time as she said goodbye.

"Everything will be okay. You'll see."  
"That's a nice thought, Alice, but this is the real world. Sometimes, things are too broken to be fixed."

* * *

 **A.N**

sssoooooo **... that went okay? Right? No one was assaulted so there's that...**

 **Once again, thank you a million to my beta EdwardsFirstKiss.**

 **I'm full of a cold at the moment, so imagine that the next few chapters smell like 'Vicks vapor rub' and butter menthols. (a cough lozenge over here in Australia.) I'm of the opinion that a butter menthol can cure anything.**


	19. Chapter 19

Bella shut the door and sunk back against it.  
Sliding her body down to the floor, she put her head in her hands and wept.

Edward sat down and pulled her onto his lap.  
He didn't have any promises to give her. He didn't know if everything was going to be okay. He hoped it would be, and he'd try his best to make it that way, but Edward also knew there was a lot of hurt flying around.  
It was just going to take time.

"I'm so sorry Edward, I'm so sorry." Bella cried over and over, her tears falling so fast, he was having difficulty wiping them away.  
"Bella," he sighed.  
"What am I going to do? Everyone hates me, Max and Violet; we have to tell them, Edward. It's my fault and they're going to hate me. My babies are going to hate me." Bella wailed, clutching onto his shirt.  
Edward rocked them back and forth, running his hand through her hair.  
"First of all, nobody hates you. Yeah, we're a little angry right now, but it won't always be that way." He hoped.  
"Secondly, I can't wait to tell them. But we don't have to do it right away. Let me get to know them some more first. Let them get to know _me_ some more. We'll know when the time is right. It might be tomorrow, it might be in a few months, or we might never need to tell Violet. She's little enough to not remember.  
And thirdly, there is nothing in the world that could make our babies hate you. I know this, because half of their DNA is mine. And it's just not in our makeup."  
"A lifetime wouldn't be enough to make it up to you." Bella said morosely.

Edward woke up to Violet's face inches from his.  
Max was upside down, one leg hanging over Bella's torso, the other lodged firmly in Edward's spleen.  
At some point during the night, the kids had made the way from the spare bedroom into his.

When Violet had stumbled in and crawled on top of Edward for a cuddle, he thought he was going to have a heart attack from how happy it had made him.  
Bella was asleep tucked into his side, her head resting on his arm, his daughter drooling on his chest, and his son wedged into his side. It was wonderful.  
For five minutes, anyway.

Edward realized very quickly that Violet was a mini furnace when she slept. She sweated, thrashed around, punched, kicked and made little squeaking noises. It made sense. His daughter was loud enough during the day. Of course, she would be the same when she was asleep.  
Max had joined them sometime around 3am. Bella shifting unconsciously to allow Max to squeeze in between them both.

Edward wondered if he'd ever get used to this, or would he always be in awe that he made two little humans. Each with ten little toes, ten little fingers and their own weird personalities.  
He knew that everyone was wondering why and how he could be so calm about Bella's confession.  
The truth was, he wasn't calm. Inside he was a storm. Angry, hurt, betrayed. But at the same time, he loved her so much. It wasn't just Bella's fault. He had contributed to the mess, so the blame must be shared.

Esme was right in a way. Bella had stolen from him. She'd stolen time. The opportunity to know his children, the way that Bella knew them. So, now it was up to Edward. If he wanted to be a father to Max and Violet, he needed to be the one to do the work.  
If he wanted a relationship with Bella, and despite the fact she'd utterly annihilated him with her deception, he wanted one, and he'd have to work damn hard on that too.  
It wasn't fair on Bella to carry all of the blame.  
Edward was a (very) willing participant and he had stolen time from her too. If he had tried harder, told her the truth, instead of letting her believe whatever she wanted…Well, maybe they wouldn't be in this position after all.

Violet brought her face right up to Edward's, their noses touching. Her heels dug into his ribs.  
"Is morning now." Her little voice was thick with sleep.  
Edward glanced over at the alarm clock.  
"No baby. It's not even five o clock."  
Violet dropped her head back to Edward's chest and started dozing again.

He looked over at Bella and found her dark brown eyes watching him, a small smile on her face.  
"You don't look very comfortable." She whispered, smiling.  
Edward shook his head. "It was the best and the worst night of my life."  
Bella chuckled. "I bet. Are you dying of heat, yet?"  
Edward opened his eyes wide and nodded his head. "Oh my god. Why is she so hot? I had to check her. I thought that maybe she had a fever."  
"No, she's just a hot sleeper. Max is worse. He will kick off anything covering him throughout the night. I spend most of my winter nights covering him up."  
They both looked down at Max who had turned onto his stomach and was hugging Bella's leg.

"How are you feeling?" Last night Bella had cried herself to sleep, distraught over the idea that Esme hated her.  
She shrugged and adjusted Max's foot so it wasn't digging into her side. "I'll deal."  
"I'll talk to her." He promised.  
"Please don't. I don't want you two to fall out because of me."  
Edward kissed the top of Violet's head. "I'm a big boy, Bella. I can handle my mother."  
The look Bella gave him told him she wasn't so sure.  
"What about you?" she asked. "How are you? Apart from not getting any sleep?"  
"You know, I think I'm okay."  
Max rolled over and kicked Edward in the face.  
"Well. I was okay."  
Bella laughed.

XXXFBFBXXX

Getting ready and out the door with two children was next to impossible.  
Bella was in a panic because Edward didn't have the right groceries to pack the kid's lunches for daycare, Max was irritated that it was going to rain and he didn't have his coat and Violet had taken a crayon and drawn a lovely squiggle on the kitchen wall, instead of eating her breakfast.  
Edward felt useless and in the way. The more he tried to help, the more Bella got irritated with him. The children didn't help, insisting that _Edward_ dress them, _Edward_ get them a drink of milk, _Edward_ find the missing shoe, _Edward_ brush their teeth. Bella was red in the face by the time they all piled into the car, Violet raging that she wasn't allowed to take scissors to school.

"I'm sorry." Bella said as they pulled into the medical clinic's parking lot.  
Edward gave her a wide-eyed look as he got out of the car. "Whatever for _darling_?"  
She narrowed her eyes at him. "I take it back."  
Laughing Edward walked around to the other side of the car, and opened the door.  
"What's going on in that head of yours?"  
Bella shrugged and stomped up to the front door, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for Edward to open the door.  
"I don't know."  
Edward raised an eyebrow at her. "Try again, Bella."  
She scowled and pushed past him, switching on the lights. "Coffee?" she asked him.  
"Yes. And I'd like to know, before we have a waiting room full of people preferably."

He watched as she hurried down the hallway, towards the kitchen, her heels clicking on the floor as she went.  
Edward followed her sedately, he knew what the issue was, he was just waiting for her to come out with it.  
She was standing by the coffee machine, watching it brew.  
He came up behind her and put his arms around her, resting on the counter, effectively caging her in.  
"Bella." He said softly.  
He watched as goose bumps broke out on her arms.  
"Edward."  
"Tell me."  
Her shoulders slumped and she turned around to face him. Looking up at him with her big brown eyes, looking so worried, Edward wanted to shut up the clinic and hide away for the day, just the two of them.  
"I'm nervous." She bit her bottom lip, worrying it between her teeth.  
Edward pulled her lip out of her grip gently. "About?"  
She turned her head. "People. What they might say. What happens when I'm with the kids and they say something. You know they will…"

Edward didn't want to lie to her. He knew that someone probably would say something to her at some point in the day, and it would be awkward for both of them. It wasn't every day that the town had a scandal this big.  
"If anyone says something that upsets you, tell me and I'll deal with it?" And he would. What happened had happened between Bella and himself. "You and me, we have nothing to hide anymore. I won't hide my children. I won't hide you. I don't care what they say. Okay?"  
Bella lifted a shoulder.

He lifted a hand and ran it through her hair. She'd spent a long while in the bathroom that morning curling the ends so they bounced prettily when she walked. He wondered if she did it for him, or if she dressed like that normally all the time now.  
When they were younger, she would shove her hair into a ponytail or a messy bun and off she'd go. It was interesting seeing how a grown-up Bella lived.  
She took more time in the bathroom than she used to getting ready and while she didn't go crazy with makeup, she did wear it.  
Her clothes were a little more feminine, she still donned the t-shirts and shorts, but instead of shapeless tees and cut offs, she chose clothes that showed her shape more, and the clothes she wore to work… Edward liked them very much. From the form fitting skirts, with tucked in blouses, to his favorite a navy-blue dress that hugged every curve and drove him crazy every time she wore it. A younger Bella would never have had the confidence to wear it.  
She was tidier, cleaning up after herself as she went, while a younger Bella just didn't see the mess, a habit that used to drive Edward crazy.  
She still left the cap of the toothpaste off and only ever drank half a cup of coffee. He found himself remembering these little things and loving them even more. It was reassuring to know that there was still _his_ Bella in there somewhere.

The door jangled, letting them know that Jane, the nurse who worked part time had arrived.  
Bella pushed Edward off her gently and went back to making coffee.  
Edward, wanting to make a point of not hiding their relationship, stayed close to Bella.

Jane bustled into the kitchen with narrowed eyes.  
"Edward, Bella."  
"Hey," Bella said quietly.  
"Jane." Edward greeted the short blond woman. With a penchant for nasty gossip and judgment, his tolerance level for Jane was at an all-time low.  
She had worked in the clinic since before Carlisle had started working there, spreading nasty rumors and making snide comments. If it wasn't for the fact that she was the only nurse in town, Edward would have fired the woman the moment he had taken ownership of the clinic. How his father had put up with the beady eyed witch for so long, he did not know.

"I heard something interesting this morning when I was talking to your mother, Edward."  
Edward raised his eyebrows. "Interesting? Would it happen to be anything to do with Bella, myself and our children?"  
"Yes. Something like that." Jane replied.  
"Wonderful," Edward said, adjusting his watch. "Well? Are you going to fill me in? Or are Bella and I to be left in suspense all day?"

Jane swung around to Bella and pointed her finger. "She hid your children from you and raised them with another man. I bet she didn't tell him either. If I were you, I'd look into DNA tests on both of them."  
Bella gasped at Jane's outburst.  
Edward put a hand on Bella's waist, keeping her in place. He was going to need to have a conversation with his mother. And quickly.

"Jane. I have to commend your bravery this morning." He turned to Bella. "what does Jane have scheduled today?" he asked her.  
Bella's forehead crinkled as she tried to remember. "She has a few vaccinations this morning, and then she's doing blood tests for some patients, but they are walk-ins. Nothing is set in stone though."  
Edward nodded. "Good. Jane, you can go home."  
Jane went almost purple with anger. "You can't fire me!" she shrieked.  
"Actually, I can. Before you leave, I'm warning you. If I find out that you are spreading your nasty gossip around town, I'll make sure the medical board knows that you have been spreading confidential information to others and you will never work again." Edward had no proof of course that she had spread information she'd learned from working at the clinic, but he had his suspicions. I'll also make sure to tell anyone who will listen that I fired you and why."

Edward was about to start threatening legal action when Jane turned on her heel and raced out of the clinic, dramatically sobbing.  
Bella was pale and clammy looking next to him. "Baby, are you okay?"  
She nodded once, then shook her head. "Your mother has already started her assault."  
Edward pressed his lips together in irritation at his mother.  
Bella let out a long sigh and slumped back against the counter.  
"It's going to be a long day."  
Edward agreed. "It is. I'll have to take on Jane's appointments too, so it's going to be busy too."  
Bella looked at her watch. "Only 8 more hours to go."

XXXFBFBXXX

Edward noticed Bella becoming more and more withdrawn as the day went on. His patients all looked at him with curiosity, so Edward had taken to greeting them by telling that it was true that he and Bella were back together, and yes, wasn't it amazing, he had two children. He refused to discuss the details, but did say that he was very happy. It wasn't honest, Edward was far from happy, but at this moment, it had more to do with his mother spreading his family business all over town, and less about Bella and their children.

Edward was collecting a file from reception when Mrs Jones waltzed in, a woman on a mission.  
Is it true? Did you keep those babies away from Edward, Bella?" her wrinkled face furious.  
Bella was about to reply when Edward stepped in.  
"Mrs Jones. I didn't think we had an appointment today."  
"We don't Dr. Cullen."  
"Then why are you here, upsetting my girlfriend?"  
Bella groaned. "Edward." She chastised.  
"Shush you." He said to Bella, knowing by her look he was going to be in trouble when everyone cleared the reception.  
"She's your girlfriend?" Mrs Jones croaked, her eyes lighting up.  
Edward softened towards the old woman. "Mrs. Jones." He looked at the full waiting room of people. He was sure half of them didn't need to be there. "I'm going to say this only once and I'm going to give you permission to pass it on.  
Yes, we have children together. If you need me to tell you how those children came to be, I can happily sit you down and discuss how babies are made. However, I suspect you might already know, seeing as you have five children yourself." He gave her a pointed look. "We will not discuss our private life with you or anyone else who asks, but I will give you this. I love Bella and I love my children. If any wrong doing has been done, it is NOT all Bella's fault. It takes two to tango and I am just as much responsible for how our children came to be s she is, and that is all I will say on the matter."

The entire waiting room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

Mrs Jones was grinning. "Good. I'll be sure to let everyone know."  
"Have a good afternoon, Mrs. Jones. Don't forget to take your supplements." He reminded her.  
Turning to the full waiting room he raised his eyebrows challenging anyone to make a comment.  
"Everyone who doesn't need to be here, please go find something better to do with your day."  
Half the women, stood sheepishly and shuffled out, giving Bella and Edward curious looks as they went.  
"We need to move." Bella complained.  
Edward grinned. "Nah, we'll be old news in a few days, I'm sure. Someone will do or say something to offend someone and we'll be forgotten. Promise."

Edward dropped Bella off at her parents' house so she could collect her car and her dog and then go to the grocery store, while he took the kids home.  
Violet had spent the entire ten-minute car ride home singing her 'ABD's' over and over again, at the top of her lungs.  
"Urgh. Little sisters are annoying." Max said with a scowl.  
Edward nodded, he was sure Violet was super annoying to her big brother. She was at that age where she always wanted to be where Max was.  
"Yeah, but when you're older, you won't think that."  
"Can't you and mommy get me a brother?" he complained.  
Edward almost drove off the road in shock. He was not prepared for questions like that.  
"Ah, that's, ah, um." Edward stuttered. "that's a question you'll have to ask your mom, buddy." Deflect! Deflect! Deflect! His brain was screaming at him.  
"Hey, you want to watch some Netflix when we get in?"  
Max narrowed his eyes.  
"Yes." He said. "but I'm still asking Mom."

When Edward pulled up to the house, he was surprised to see Esme sitting on the front porch looking nervous.  
"Shit," Edward said under his breath.  
"SHIP" screamed Violet.  
Max looked at Edward with wide eyes. "Mommy is going to murder you."  
"SHIP SHIP" Violet screamed. "MINE SUPERMAN, I NEED THE POTTY."  
Edward jumped out and quickly unbuckled Violet as fast as he could.  
Lifting her out of the seat, he checked to see that Max was already out of the car and headed up the stairs, holding Violet out in front of him, in case she had an accident.

"Hi, Violetneedsthepottywaitouthereplease" Edward said in a rush and raced into the house, down the hallway, and into the bathroom.  
They made it just in time, Violet sitting on the toilet, peeing, her eyes rolling in the back of her head. "ahhh, Mine." She said in relief.  
Edward chuckled.

After cleaning Violet up and putting a sticker on the potty training poster Bella had stuck to the fridge, he went in search of Esme.  
He found her sitting on the porch where he had left her.  
Max was sitting next to her, showing him pictures that he'd drawn at daycare.  
"Hey, buddy, How about that Netflix time?"

Max was off like a shot, yelling out that he was going to watch power rangers.  
Edward looked longingly after Max. He would much rather watch power rangers then listen to anything his mother had to say at that moment.

"You have five minutes to say what you need to say. They best start with 'I'm' and end in 'sorry.'" Edward crossed his arms and glared at Esme.  
All damn day, he'd had to fend off patients fishing for information, or watch Bella withdraw into herself more and more.

"Why should I apologize?" Esme argued.  
Edward was about to start yelling when Bella pulled in and parked behind his car.  
The dog jumped out of the open window and ran up to Edward, wagging his tail.  
"Good dog." He said and pat Hamish on the head.  
Bella hadn't seen Edward and Esme yet and was struggling with the bags, trying to take more than her arms could carry. Edward ran down and grabbed at a bag, just as it started to fall.

"Careful." He smiled. "Let me help." He said loudly. Then quietly, he leaned in and whispered. "Mom's here."  
Bella looked at Edward with alarm. "Edward, I can't talk to her right now."  
"I'm not going to make you talk to her if you don't want to, babe. Take these in and I'll be in, in a bit okay?" Edward wouldn't force Bella to talk to Esme until she was ready.

Edward turned back to Esme and steeled himself for a fight.  
"Mom. Why are you here?"  
"I need to talk to you."  
"I told you, if it's not an apology, then I'm not interested in anything you have to say."  
"And I told you, I have nothing to apologize for." She argued.

Edward saw red.  
"What a load of crap." He pulled at his hair. "You called Bella a slut, in front of our entire family. You shamed her for something that we both did. Not because we're bad people, but because we loved each other and we were hurting. It was ME mom, ME who pursued her. ME who let her go in the first place. And it was YOU who led her to believe I was in a relationship with someone else. It was YOU who invited Charlotte to Dad's 50th giving her the impression that I'd moved on and had cheated on my girlfriend.  
Bella's mistake hurt us, yes. But it's actually got nothing to do with you. Nothing.  
Those are MY children. If I can get over it, then so the fuck can you."  
Edward was shaking he was so angry.  
"YOU spread family information to people, hoping to hurt the mother of my children. What does that say about you, Mom?"

Esme went pale.  
"Edward-"  
"No. First thing this morning, we were accosted by that vile Jane, spitting lies that YOU had told her. You didn't think about what that would do to me, or how it would make me feel with everyone knowing my business did you? DID YOU?" he roared.

Esme shook her head and cried.

"Did you think about what that kind of information could do to your grandchildren when they're older? It's out there now. It's never going to disappear. Someone will remember and tell them. How is that going to make my children feel? How will you look at them in the face and tell them YOU did that? YOU put it out there for everyone to know because YOU felt like you were hurt?  
News flash Mom. This isn't about you."

Edward felt all the anger drain out of him and exhaustion set in.  
"Mom, listen to me. Bella did a really fucking shitty thing. But she didn't do it to hurt us. She did it because she was scared and confused and in some fucked up way, she doesn't think she deserves me and the life we could have together. She never kept them from you. You got photos, and updates and milestones, and videos. That was more than I ever got."

"Bella loves you like a second mom. My children, they've always known you."  
Esme bit her lip.  
"I just wanted to…I don't know. I wasn't thinking."  
Edward shook his head. "No. That's the problem though, isn't it? Bella and I didn't think. We just acted and now we have this mess to clean up."

Esme clutched her handbag close to her. "I'll call Bella this week. I want to make things right."  
Edward nodded. "okay, she'll love that."

His mom stood up and smoothed her hair down, the same bronze and gold tones as Edward's. "I love you, Mom. I'm sorry I swore at you before."  
Esme grinned, her eyes still watery. "It's okay. I'll give you a pass. Just this once though."

XXXFBFBXXX

Edward sat at the kitchen island watching Bella make enchiladas for dinner. Violet was watching wrestling on the television and practicing her moves on the dog and Max was sitting next to Edward quietly watching his Mom flit around the kitchen as if she had always been there.

"Edward?"  
Edward turned his head to look at Max. "Yeah?"  
"Are you my real dad?"

* * *

 **A.N**

 **It's Sunday. Why not end on a cliff? Don't jump off though, I'll be back tomorrow for THAT conversation.**

 **The biggest thank you to EdwardsFirstKiss who fixed my mess even though she's got a full weekend! -Thank you!**

 **And a big thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and fave'd. You're awesome.**  
 **Sass x**


	20. Chapter 20

"Are you my real dad?"

Max was looking at Edward with such intensity for a four-year-old, Bella had an inappropriate urge to giggle.

"Why are you asking?" Edward flicked his eyes over to Bella.  
Max squirmed in his chair. "You shouted it really loud." Max scrunched up his face. "There was a lot of yelling."

This was going to be a moment that they would all remember. Max would probably dissect this over and over with a therapist when he was older.  
For Edward's sake, Bella wanted this to go perfectly for him.  
They had all missed out on so much because of Bella's actions.

Edward nervously rubbed the back of his neck and swiveled his chair to face Max's.

"Yeah, buddy," Edward said, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm your real dad."

Max nodded his head and looked at Bella. "You're still my real mom, right?" He asked Bella worriedly.  
Bella smiled. "Yeah, sweetheart. You grew in my tummy." She pointed to her stomach. "I have some pictures of my tummy when you were inside. I'll go through our boxes and see if I can find them.  
Max turned back to Edward and examined him. His little eyes really looking at Edward.  
"We both have green eyes."  
Edward's smile lit the room. "We do. Come here, I want to show you something."

Edward got up from the kitchen island and helped Max jump down from his stool. He took Max into the bathroom.  
Bella followed, curious as to what Edward was going to do.

They both stood in front of the bathroom mirror, Max on the vanity, Edward standing behind him, keeping their son safe from falling.  
"We have the same nose too. Look." Edward pointed to his nose and then to Max's in the mirror.  
Max turned to Bella with wide eyes. "Do you see Mommy?"  
Bella nodded, wiping a tear from her eye. "I do, baby."  
"Our hair is the same too. See how it sticks up everywhere?" Edward smiled. "But you have the same color as your mom's."  
"Cool." Max breathed. "What else is the same?"  
They both scrutinized themselves in the mirror.  
"I think, that if we found a picture of me when I was little, we'd look very similar."  
"Sim-alar?"  
"The same."

To Bella, Max was more Edward than her. He had her dark hair, but the rest of his face was all Edward. It was a wonder that people hadn't suspected that Max was Edward's biological child the moment they had met him.

XXXFBFBXXX

They were eating dinner when the questions started coming.  
"What about my other dad?" Max asked looking worriedly at his parents. "Will he be sad?"  
Ever since Max had made his entrance into the world, Bella had worried about this conversation.  
"I think that he will be happy to know that you've got Edward as your dad and you're happy." She said carefully. "That's all we all want for you. Is to be happy."

"What about if he wants to see me?"  
"Do you want to see him?" Bella asked softly, avoiding looking at Edward, in case he was upset they were talking about Jacob.  
Max shrugged. "He doesn't want to see me." Max said quietly.  
"He's really busy." Bella said lamely.

Max took a mouthful of rice and watched in disgust as Violet took her mouthful of chicken and tried to give it to Edward.  
"Is she your son too?"  
Bella and Edward chuckled. "Daughter. A girl is a daughter. A boy is a son." Explained Bella.  
"Yes. Violet is my daughter too. You are my son, and Violet is my daughter." Said Edward proudly.  
Max narrowed his eyes at Violet, then turned two accusing eyes to his parents.  
"Can you make me a brother?"  
Edward choked on his water.  
"Oh sweetheart, that's ahh…" She glared at Edward. "Help me out here."  
Edward quirked his eyebrow at Bella. "I'll talk to your mom about it." He winked at Max.  
Max blinked both his eyes back.

"Are you going to go away all the time too?" Max looked a little nervous at his question and Bella felt her stomach drop. All Max really knew of having a dad was being left at home.  
Edward pushed his plate away and held Max's little hand in his.  
"No. I'm not going away at all." Edward promised. "And, if I ever do have to go away, it will only be for a day and I will always come back."

Max nodded his head in acceptance.  
"Do I get to tell everyone you're my dad?" Max's eyes lit up with excitement.  
Edward nodded excitedly with him. "Yes, if you want."  
"And I can call you Dad?" Max asked hopefully.  
A tear slid from Edward's eye. "Yeah, Son, you can call me dad."

Bella wiped her own tears away and smiled over at Edward, who looked like he had won the greatest prize in the world.  
"OH SHIP" Violet yelled out as she dropped her cup of milk all over herself and her dinner.  
Bella gasped. "Did you just say what I thought you said?" she said to Violet in shock.  
Violet looked at her mom innocently and smiled. "Ship?"  
Bella's eyes shot to Edward's as he and Max exchanged nervous looks.  
"Edward…" Bella warned.  
"Oh Ship, Mine. Momma is mad." Violet said with a serious look on her face.  
"She's saying Ship, Bella." Edward said back, trying to hide his laugh.  
"Yes, but you and I both know what she's _really_ saying." Bella shot back, silently glad that it wasn't her that had taught Violet her first swear word.  
"I told you mom was going to murder you." Max said, shoveling some rice into his mouth.

XXXFBFBXXX

Bella had just gotten home from work and was trying to convince Violet to eat something that wasn't white. It was a phase, Edward had promised, and not something that Bella should worry about too much.  
Edward and Max had gone to look at the rock pools down at the beach, Max had been shaking with joy as they left.  
"Mommy, _Daddy_ says we can see a star fish." He exclaimed loudly, his body refusing to be still with excitement.

Every time Max called Edward Dad or Daddy, you could almost see Edward melt. Violet had quickly cottoned on to this phenomenon and used it to get out of trouble.  
When Bella had to run over to her house to talk to Emmett and Jasper about the kitchen cabinets that were being installed, Bella had left Edward at home to keep an eye on the kids.

Violet, using her Daddy's naivety against him, snuck into the bathroom and painted herself, the vanity, the bath and the shower door in Bella's very expensive lipsticks. _All of them_. Every shade of red, pink, blush and nude lipstick she could get her sticky little fingers on.

When Edward had discovered Violet's handy work, Edward had screamed so loud, Bella, Emmett and Jasper had raced over to see what was wrong.  
Bella dashed down the hallway, expecting to see blood or a broken bone or something horrendous. Instead, Violet stood in the middle of the bathroom covered head to toe in lipstick. There was not one inch of her body that didn't have lipstick on it.

"Oh my God!" Emmett screamed. "She looks like fucking Carrie."

Just as Edward was about to open his mouth to give his daughter a telling off, she fluttered her eyelashes, held her arms out and said "TA DA, Daddy! Violet's Pwetty, huh?"  
Edward spun around with wide eyes and a goofy smile on his face.  
"Did you hear that, Em? She called me Daddy!"

Instead of Violet getting into the most trouble she had ever been in, Edward took the kids for ice cream while Bella stayed at home with Emmett and Jasper, trying frantically to remove the red lipstick from everywhere.

They would need to re-paint.

XXXFBFBXXX

It had been four weeks since the big family dinner where Esme had called Bella a slut and she still hadn't reached out to her.  
Bella was expecting Esme to call her the day after she had spoken to Edward and was surprised when she hadn't.  
She also hadn't spoken to her mother.  
Bella had made a few attempts to seek out her mom, but to no avail. Renee was legendary for her silent treatment and could carry on her punishment for weeks.  
Edward had snipped that Bella couldn't complain as she clearly took after her mother.  
Bella told Edward that if he ever wanted to move their relationship forward, he would never compare the two of them again. He agreed, she thought, for fear of never having sex again. It was a wise choice.

"Come on Violet, why don't we try some yummy peas?" Bella cajoled.  
"No tanks." Her daughter pressed her lips together and turned her head.  
"You cannot live on cheese, fish sticks and yogurt, baby." Bella pleaded.  
Violet jutted her chin out. "Can."  
Bella pushed the bowl of half eaten dinner away and sighed.

"Edward told me that she'll eat pasta?"  
Esme walked into the kitchen looking nervous, running her hands up and down her cropped jeans.  
Bella chewed her bottom lip, feeling nervous herself. Did Edward know Esme was coming over? Is that why he took Max out?  
"Yes. She'll eat rice, pasta, yogurt, cheese and fish sticks. And ice cream of course." Bella gave an exasperated look towards her daughter. "She was doing really well with food and we seem to have regressed."  
"Edward went through a stage of only eating white food. Carlisle called it 'the white year.' Everything that boy ate was white, or grey."  
"How did you not kill him?"

Violet held a yogurt covered hand up to Esme. "Hi Em-may."  
Esme kissed the top of Violet's head and sat next to her. "Hello, sweetheart."  
Violet fluttered her eyelashes and tried to escape her booster seat to go and sit on her lap.  
"Wait. Let me wipe you down first and then I'll let you out."  
Violet, not one for patience, threw herself back in the chair and started to wail.

"Terrible-Two's. She's a poster child for it." Bella shouted over Violet.

Once Bella had managed to wipe down a struggling and very angry Violet, she unstrapped her from her booster seat sat down and sighed.

"Are you here to see Edward? He's not here. He and Max went down to the rock pools to see if they could find a starfish.  
Esme shook her head. "No, I came to see you. I wanted to come and see you the day after I spoke to Edward, but I thought that maybe you needed a bit more time to calm down…"  
Bella shrugged. "I don't know, I'm okay." She examined the dining table, feeling uncomfortable.

"Okay and the real reason is because I was too much of a coward to come and say 'sorry'."  
Bella looked up quickly. "What? Why?"  
Esme's eyes welled up with tears. "Because I said some terrible things and I'm afraid you'll be angry with me forever."

"I'm the one that is sorry, Esme. I didn't do the right thing. I took Edward's children away from him. I deserved it." Bella whispered.  
Esme shook her head in disagreement. "No, you didn't deserve me calling you that and you didn't deserve me opening my big mouth. I could have been angry with you and not lashed out. I hurt you, I hurt my son, and I'm afraid, I've hurt those beautiful children because I was stupid and impulsive." Esme cried.  
Both of them were crying now. "No, you haven't hurt them at all. Edward put a stop to it. We're okay."  
"Are we? Okay, I mean?" Esme asked shyly.  
Bella nodded. "Yes. We're okay."  
Esme pulled Bella in for a hug. "I'm so glad. I've been dying to know what's happening with you and Edward."  
Bella snorted out a laugh, wiping her tears away. "We're okay. Not together, but, you know." She blushed. "We're taking things very slow."  
"Maybe that's a good thing?" Esme asked. "You've been through a lot."  
Bella nodded. They had.

She didn't want to start a relationship with Edward that was based on convenience because Bella didn't want to be alone, or because he wanted to see the kids every day.  
She loved him, and she didn't doubt that he loved her, but was he in love with her? Bella had learned there was a difference.

Bella heard the door slam and the excited voices of Max and Edward carried into the kitchen.  
"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Bella asked Esme, knowing that she would be desperate to spend some time with her son and the kids.  
Esme got to her feet and smoothed her hair down.  
"Raincheck?"  
Bella took the time to really observe Esme. She was dressed up in a pair of cute cutoff jeans, a red blouse with white flowers and a pair of matching red flats. Her hair had been done and pinned back nicely and Bella noticed, she was wearing makeup.  
Her eyes widened.

"Esme! Are you…?"  
The older woman's eyes sparkled. "Yes. I'm going on a date."  
Edward chose that moment to walk into the kitchen, carrying Violet upside down.  
"You're what?" Edward asked in alarm.  
"Hello, Son. How are you?" Esme smiled, deflecting the question.  
"I'm wonderful. You're going on a date?" Edward's eyes narrowed. "Who with?"  
Esme blushed deeply and fidgeted with her handbag.  
"I joined a website."  
"YOU WHAT?" Edward yelled, gently dropping Violet to the ground.  
"I joined a website. One of those dating ones."  
"But why?" Edward asked in confused shock. "You're… How? Why?"  
"Because darling boy, I have needs." She sniffed.

Edward grimaced. "Mom, that's…"

Before he could put his foot in it, Bella stepped forward and started guiding Esme out to the porch. "Absolutely normal. Are you being safe?" Bella whispered once they got out of Edward's earshot. "Do you know who he is? Do you have your phone on you? Do you need me to text you a code or something, just in case he's a complete psycho and Edward and I need to come and get you?" Bella was starting to panic herself now.

Esme chuckled and patted Bella on the arm.

"I had your dad run a police check on him." She blushed.  
Bella laughed. "Well, alright then."  
"And your mom is going to text me and if it's a dud, she'll call and get me out of there."  
"Good. Call me tomorrow and tell me how it went, okay?"  
Esme paused at the door and gave Bella a soft look.  
"I'd like that very much."

Edward was rooting around in the fridge for something to eat when Bella walked back into the kitchen.  
"I'll make dinner soon."  
"I'm hungry now." He said into the fridge.  
Bella rose her eyebrows at Edward's back. "What's the matter with you?"  
Edward pulled his head out of the fridge, his face like thunder.  
"I'm annoyed with you."  
Bella's stomach instantly clenched. "What? Why?"  
"Because, you encouraged my mom to go on a date, Bella." he snapped.  
Bella bit her lip, wanting to laugh, but thought better of it. She didn't think he would find it amusing.  
"Babe, your mom deserves to be happy."  
"Why can't she be happy single?"

Bella gave him a look. "Did you just hear yourself?" She understood where he was coming from. She supposed that if her dad had passed away, she would feel weird if Renee started dating again, but it would be even worse if she didn't try to move on. "She's lonely."  
Edward's shoulders slumped. "I know. I just can't imagine her with anyone else but Dad. And what if this guy is a weirdo?"  
Bella laughed. "I asked her the same thing. It's okay. My dad ran a check on him. He came back clean."  
Edward huffed. "At least there's one sensible person in this family."

XXXFBFBXXX

Later, Bella was lounging on the sofa wearing a pair of Edward's sleep pants and a tank top. It had taken over an hour to get Violet to settle down to sleep. Edward hadn't made any moves to convert his office into another bedroom for Max or Violet, so they were still sharing a bed. It meant that both kids would inevitably end up in bed with Bella and Edward.

Normally she wouldn't care about sharing a bed with her children, she knew that there would be a day when Max and Violet would rather die than be seen in public with her. Besides, her favorite thing was waking up to those sleepy morning cuddles her children would give her, where they were extra cuddly and sweet.  
But now that Bella was sharing a bed with Edward, she wanted just a little privacy from her children.

Edward shuffled into the living room and yawned, throwing himself down on the sofa next to Bella.  
She shifted her body, so he was lying behind her, their bodies entwined as close as they could get with clothes on.  
He pushed his face down to her neck and inhaled.  
"You smell good."  
"hmm" she replied and closed her eyes.  
"Bella." Edward whispered into her ear.  
His proximity, the feel of his hot breath on her body and his hard body behind hers caused a shiver to go down her spine.  
"Move in with me."  
Bella rolled her hips, rubbing her behind against him, feeling what she did to him.  
"No."  
He groaned, sliding his hands down, inside his sleep pants towards her panties.  
"It makes me fucking hot seeing you wear my clothes, Bella."  
She whimpered and pressed her body tighter against him.

Edward's fingers had just brushed the edge of her underwear when a little head popped up over the edge of the sofa.

"Hi." Violet's bright eyes shone with mischief.

Eternally grateful that Edward's body hid them from Violet seeing anything, they both jumped away from each other.  
"It's past your bedtime, what are you doing awake?" Bella asked Violet as Edward surreptitiously adjusted himself.  
"It's morning." Violet said as if her parents were stupid.  
"Baby, it's really not. Go back to bed." Bella pointed to the bedroom door. "Now."  
Violet looked at her Daddy and pouted.  
"Oh no, don't you think that's going to work on me." Edward muttered crossly.

Bella snorted.

"Go." Bella said sternly.  
Violet's little shoulders slumped, and she walked slowly to the hall. Both Bella and Edward followed behind her to make sure she was going.

When she made it to Edward's bedroom doorway, she stood in front of it and looked hopefully at Edward.  
He sighed heavily and hung his head.

"We're never going to have sex, again are we?" he asked morosely.

It took another hour to convince Violet to settle down before she crashed with her butt in Bella's face.  
"We could move her?" Edward said hopefully.  
"We could." Agreed Bella. "But then when she wakes up and comes looking for us…"  
"We can lock the door?" he suggested hopefully.  
Bella giggled. "I'm fairly sure our daughter knows how to pick a lock."  
Edward threw himself back onto the pillows. "She probably does too. I blame all those pesticides in that garage when she was conceived. Somehow she absorbed them and now she's a super villain."  
"That doesn't surprise me at all." Bella laughed.

"We need to get in contact with Jacob." Bella said quietly.  
Edward tensed at the mention of her ex-husband.  
"What do you think he's going to say?"  
Bella shrugged. "He'll probably too involved with Victoria and his work to care too much about anything else, Edward. I'm suspecting he'll sign the paperwork and move on with his life like he wanted to."

"I want you to move in, Bella." Edward said quietly.  
Bella sighed. "Edward, we aren't even officially together."  
Edward sat up and turned to face Bella.

"Bella, will you be my official girlfriend?"  
She rolled her eyes. "You're so romantic." She huffed.  
"I was trying to get romantic before, but Satan's apprentice put a stop to that." Edward joked.

"So, what do you say? You want to be my girlfriend again? I'll even buy you a new diary that you can write 'Mrs. Isabella Cullen' all over it."  
Bella rolled her eyes. "I never did that."  
"Do not tell lies, Swan." Edward threatened. "I know for a fact you did. Emmett showed it to me once."  
Well that was embarrassing, Bella thought.

Bella wanted to desperately say yes, but she was terrified that he wasn't asking for the right reasons. Was he only saying those things because he didn't want her to take the kids away from him again?

"Tell me what you're thinking. This is the new us. Where we talk about our shit and don't hide things from each other." Edward gave her a pointed look.

"Are you only saying that you want me because you don't want me to take the kids away from you?"

Edward's eyes went wide. "Do you really believe that?" Edward asked incredulously.  
Bella shrugged.  
"Baby, we need to find someone who you can talk to about this fucked up self-esteem you have.  
"If we didn't have the kids, I would still want you right here by my side.  
It's got nothing to do with the kids, and everything to do with you." At Bella's raised eyebrow he smiled sheepishly. "Okay, It's a little bit of both.

"It's too confusing for the kids." She argued.  
"Bullshit, Bella." Edward got out of bed and started pacing back and forth. "They don't care where they live as long as they have You. Me. Us. Please don't take this away from me. I want to wake up with Violet trying to poke my eye out. I want to read Max his bedtime story every night. I want to know them as much as you know them. I want them to know me, Bella.  
"I want to wake up with you. I want to know that when I come home, you're here. I want to yell at you for leaving the lid off the toothpaste every morning. I want to be with you. I've always wanted to be with you, Bella. Please don't take this away from me."

"I'm not trying to take anything away from you. Please believe me when I say that. I'm just… I went from home, to you, to Jake, to home, back to you. I need something that's mine that can't be taken away. Do you understand? I'm paying as much as I can afford into a house that's mine now. _Mine_. No one can take that away."  
"It's just a house, Bella."  
"No, not to me it isn't. To me it means freedom. It's security."  
Edward walked around to her side of the bed and sat next to her.  
"So, it's the house."  
"Yes."  
"It's not me."  
"No. It's not you." She pleaded.  
"So, I'll just move in with you then." His green eyes danced with excitement.  
Bella smirked. "Okay."

* * *

 **A.N**

 **Sorry for no chapter yesterday, I have the flu and I feel like I've been run over by a truck.**  
 **How much does it suck that you can't have a day off when you're a mom.**

 **Thank you to by lovely Beta EdwardsFirstKiss!**

 **Also, reading your reviews has me all kinds of happy that your opinion of Bella is changing! :)**

 **There will be a lemon in the next chapter. For Edward's sake, I hope Violet is having a sleepover at her grandparent's house! ;)**


	21. Chapter 21

Edward and Bella hadn't had any adult time to themselves since becoming a couple (Facebook official and everything) they hadn't had the chance to have any one on one time, unless you counted the sweet hour between wrestling the children into their own room and the two of them cuddling up on the sofa watching crap on television, before crawling into their own bed and finding one or both children invading their space.

Renee had called earlier and asked if she and Charlie could take the children overnight. Edward was more than okay with the plan for a childfree night and jumped at the chance. He thought of all the things they could enjoy without having to break up the constant fighting or crying or noise. Not that Edward was complaining. The love he had for his children was instant, and daily he felt that love grow, but it would be nice to be able to have a meal without Violet insisting on sharing every bite she took with him or having Max throw a tantrum over a single pea touching his mash.  
Renee was desperate to have some time with her grandchildren as Bella hadn't been over to her parents' house since Renee had asked Bella to give her some space.  
So, when Edward had excitedly told Bella the news, she jutted her chin out and huffed angrily. Not the reaction he was hoping for.  
"What's the matter?" Edward suddenly worried that he'd made arrangements for the children without consulting Bella. That was a big no-no, wasn't it?  
"She's not talking to me." Bella snapped.  
Feeling relief that Bella wasn't mad at him, he raised an eyebrow. "And?"  
"And I think it's rude that she's going behind my back and asking you to take the kids. I have a right mind to make you call her back and say they can't come."  
"What? You do realize how childish that is right?" Edward said. "Would you really keep the kids away from Renee, just because you are both mad at each other?"  
"Yes." She said angrily.  
Edward cleared his throat loudly and gave her a look of disbelief. "You aren't talking to her either Bella. You're both as bad as each other." And they were. For as long as Edward could remember, the Swan women were all experts on the silent treatment. Even Alice, who found it almost impossible to shut her mouth at the best of times, could freeze out anyone who had dared upset her. When the girls were teenagers, there were weeks where the house would be downright frosty.  
Sighing loudly Bella's shoulders sunk. "No. But still. If she thinks for one second I'll be the one to break first, she's wrong."  
Edward rolled his eyes. "You're both ridiculous."  
"Yes. But this is the way we work."  
"The way you work is broken," Edward muttered and pushed himself off the kitchen counter he was leaning on.

XXXFBFBXXX

"You coming too, Daddy?" Violet pushed her face up close to Edwards and placed her hands on his cheeks. Violet's green eyes stared back at his, her eyelashes fluttering. He could smell strawberry jelly on her breath.  
Edward felt for the first time, a frisson of regret and guilt about sending his baby away for the night, on the off chance that he and Bella could have sex without being terrified a child was going to waltz into the bedroom and demand juice.  
Bella walked by wearing a pair of black leggings and an off the shoulder tee. With her hair in a bun on the top of her head, a pair of reading glasses perched on her nose. The feeling went away pretty quickly.  
"No, Baby. Daddy and Mommy can't come. It's only a sleep over for kids."  
"You're not a kid?" Violet asked scrunching up her nose in confusion.  
"No. But Uncle Emmett is."  
Max pulled an overnight bag that was overflowing with items behind him. "Daddy isn't a kid, Violet. He's like mommy now."  
"oooohhhh," said Violet in understanding. Her head nodding slowly.

Edward helped Max pull the bag, which was surprisingly heavy over to the sofa. "What does that mean?"  
Max shrugged his shoulders and started rifling through the bag looking for something. "You know, you gotta tell us to eat our peas" he gave Edward a dark look, "make us take a bath, even when we don't want to, sniff our butts if you think we smell bad and yell at us in the morning because we're late. Mommy stuff."  
"Oh," Edward said fighting the urge to laugh.  
"Yeah," Violet said as if it was the saddest thing ever. "Just like Mommy."

Bella walked into the living room and blanched at the bag Max was searching though.  
"Max, what are you doing?"  
"Making sure I have my raincoat." He looked up at his mom, his hair flying in all different directions.  
"You don't need your raincoat. You're only going to Nanny's house." She tried to take the bag away from Max, but he held onto the strap.  
A few items of clothing fell out of the bulging bag, and a pair of snow boots.  
"You don't need these either," Bella said as she picked them up.  
"What if it snows?" Max said desperately.  
"I can promise you that it's not going to snow tomorrow, Buddy." Edward interrupted. "You have way too many clothes here for just one night. You only need clothes for tomorrow, your pjs for tonight and your toothbrush. Everything else stays here."  
Max glared at Edward.  
"See? You are just like mommy now." He said crossly. "Probably worser."  
"Worse" Bella corrected.  
Edward grinned. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him.

Edward called Emmett after Charlie had left with the kids.  
Leaning back in his armchair, he propped his feet up on the coffee table and laughed when Em answered with a loud 'YO." And they wondered where Violet got her attitude and loudness from.  
"Hey. It's me. Want to hang out with us tonight? We've got a child free night."  
Emmett pulled the phone away and bellowed to Rose asking their plans. After a short back and forth, he got back on the phone.  
"Absolutely. I think we should make it a thing. Hey, you never got to wet the baby's head, so to speak. Let's go out. I'll call Jasper and see what he and Alice are doing."  
"Alright. I'll let Bella know. We'll meet at PJ's?"  
"Yup. We can eat there. I'll bring the cigars." He boomed. Before Edward could tell Emmett not to bring cigars, he hung up.  
Chuckling, Edward shook his head.  
It had been a long time since they had all gone to PJ's together. The last time was when he and Bella were secretly seeing each other behind Emmett's back. He'd spent a good part of the night staring daggers at anyone who tried to dance with Bella, not being able to step in and claim her in front of everyone there.

"Whatcha doing?" Bella made her way into the living room with a soft smile.  
Edward beckoned Bella over. When she made it across the room, he pulled her into his lap and kissed the top of her head.  
"We're going to PJ's tonight."  
Bella raised her eyebrows. "We have a kid free night and you want to go drinking?"  
"Emmett's idea." Edward defended.  
"And since when has Emmett had a good idea? Need I remind you of the time he convinced us to go camping in the middle of winter and I got pneumonia?"  
Edward hid his grin. "Babe, you fell in a river."  
"Because he pushed me."  
"After you pushed him first."  
Bella huffed. "What about that time he convinced me to have a drinking competition with him?"  
Edward did grin this time. Emmett challenged Bella to a beer drinking competition. Whoever won, didn't have to do the laundry for an entire month. Bella was never one to back down from a challenge by her big brother, agreed without thinking the consequences through. Emmett was 6ft 4 and built like a mountain. Bella was 5ft 4 on a good day, and petite.  
At first, she had kept up with Emmett, drink for drink. Until she made it to her fifth beer. Edward spent the rest of the night holding a big red bucket under Bella as she threw up constantly until the next morning. When Charlie found out, they had all been read the riot act and Bella had to do Emmett's laundry for the rest of the month.  
"I don't know what possessed you to do that in the first place. You're just as much to blame as he was."  
"whatever." Bella snapped.

Edward ran his hand down Bella's back, pulling her in tighter.  
"You don't want to go?"  
Bella turned her face to his, resting her forehead on his, reminding him of Violet. "I thought we were going to have a quiet night in…" she trailed off with a blush.  
Edward kissed her lips softly. "How about we go for one drink and then make our excuses?"  
She nipped his bottom lip and nodded her head. "It's a deal."

Edward held Bella tightly against him, feeling her soft curves against his body. The t-shirt she was wearing gave him full access to one of her shoulders and her neck, tempting Edward into running his lips up and down the ridge of her collarbone.  
"You smell so good." He groaned, burying his nose into her neck, knowing that it drove Bella crazy when he did it.  
With a moan, Bella lifted her leg so she was straddling him, bringing her heat up against him.  
Edward thrust himself up against her, reveling in the way her breath hitched and her hips rolled forward against his.  
He brought his hands up, holding the nape of her neck with one and caressed her cheek with the other.  
"Have I told you how much I love you today?" he whispered huskily.  
Bella shook her head and brought her lips to his, nipping lightly.

Before they had a chance to get carried away with each other in the living room, Edward got to his feet, with Bella in his arms.  
"I need to take you to bed now." His voice was deeper, huskier.  
He carried her through the house, never taking his eyes from hers.  
Kicking the bedroom door shut, Edward made it across the room to their bed in two long strides. He was tempted to throw her down on the bed, but at the last minute, he gently placed her in the middle of the bed, his body covering hers.  
Bella rocked her body along his, whimpering with need.  
"I've got you." He whispered, watching goosebumps break out across her exposed shoulder and down her arm.  
Lifting her t-shirt off, groaned loudly when he saw she wasn't wearing a bra.  
Bella took hold of his top and pulled hard, letting out a breath of relief as she threw his shirt to join hers on the floor.  
After all those years, the feeling of Bella's naked body, along his was one of the best things he'd ever felt.  
The feel of her pebbled nipples brushing his chest, the way she pushed her body together with his, the way he ran his hands up and down her naked torso. No one else could ever compare.  
He sat up on his knees, looking down at her.  
"please" she whispered.  
Nodding, Edward pulled her leggings off, taking her underwear with them. In a blink of an eye, they were both naked, Bella pulling his sweatpants down with her legs and feet.  
"Now, now, now," Bella chanted, lifting her hips towards his erection.  
She watched as he held himself in his hand, and thrust into her hard, causing her to gasp.  
He had to hold himself still inside her for a few beats, trying to control himself from pounding into her ferociously and coming in seconds.  
Feeling her tighten around him, he flexed his hips slowly, watching as Bella threw her head back and groaned.  
"I love you, Bella," Edward whispered in her ear as he pulled almost all the way out.  
She clenched around him and rolled her hips, trying to force him all the way inside again.  
"Edward." She begged.  
"That's right." He held her head in his hands and forced her to look him in the eyes. It took her a moment to focus on him, the urge to close her eyes too much.  
As she stared deep into his eyes, he thrust deeply inside, grinding himself against her clit.  
"Oh my God." She groaned, pressing herself tightly against him.  
Over and over again, Edward drove himself into her, demanding she keep eye contact. He could feel her clenching, ready to come at any moment. Knowing he was not far behind her, he kissed her, trying to pour all of his love into her.  
Finally, he felt her entire body clench, her nails digging into his back.

"Oh my god" she moaned, coming around him.  
Edward groaned, then grunted, feeling his body go stiff as his orgasm claimed him, spilling himself inside her. There was a brief moment when Edward realized he hadn't used any protection.  
"We need to do more of that." Bella joked, as Edward pulled out and lay on his back beside her.  
Pulling her into his arms, Edward grinned. "I'm going to install a deadbolt on our bedroom door when we move next door."  
Bella giggled and nodded her head. "I like that idea Dr. Cullen" she kissed his chest.

They lay together in bed, kissing softly and talking quietly about anything and everything.  
Bella was worried about the house being ready on time, she wanted to be in and settled before Max started his first day of primary school.

They discussed the new nurse who was starting later that week, a woman from New York, who had moved to Pepper's Bay to start a new life. Bella was convinced she was running from something and was determined to get to the bottom of Bree Tanner's story. Edward chuckled when Bella started coming up with random ideas as to why the attractive young woman had moved all the way down to their little town.

"Maybe she's running from a bad relationship?" Bella mused.  
"Or maybe it's none of your business?" Edward joked back.  
"well technically, it is my business because I'm her boss and I need to know these things," Bella argued back, poking him in the side.  
"Explain how you need to know this woman's personal history?"  
Bella opened and closed her mouth, trying to come up with a reason.  
"Maybe she's in witness protection," Bella said matter of fact tone.  
Edward shook his head. "You're worse than Mrs. Jones. You know that, right?"  
Bella's eyes went wide. "I should probably call Mrs. Jones and see if she's found out any information."  
"Bella…" Edward warned. The last thing he needed was everyone gossiping about their new nurse, especially seeing as they had only just got over the entire town knowing their own business.  
"What?" Bella said innocently.  
"You do remember how if felt when everyone was talking about us, right?" He raised an eyebrow poked Bella back.  
"Yeah, I know." Sighed Bella. "But I can gossip with you, can't I?" she pouted.  
Edward turned to face her, running his hand through her long hair. "Yeah, I suppose so. But if Mrs. Jones starts coming to me, looking for gossip, you'll have to find someone else."

XXXFBFBXXX

Bella was taking her sweet time getting ready. Edward had been ready to leave the house twenty minutes ago.  
"Baby, come on. Everyone will be there already." He called out, patting his pockets down to see if he had his wallet and phone.  
"Five more minutes," Bella called from the bedroom.  
Edward knew that she was feeling a little nervous about going out for dinner and a few drinks. Most of the town now knew the truth about the parentage of Max and Violet and after a few raised eyebrows, they'd moved swiftly on. But this would be the first time that Edward and Bella were stepping out as a couple.  
Edward was more excited that they could finally dance together. He could hold her tight and hold her hand and whisper dirty secrets in her ear all night and no one would look at them twice.  
Bella was more worried that they were going to judge her on moving on so fast after her separation and pending divorce from Jacob.  
"No, not five minutes, now love. Come on." He stomped into the bedroom impatiently to hurry her along but stopped in his tracks as he got a glimpse of his Bella.

She'd put on a pair of black skinny leg jeans a black top that showed off her tanned shoulders and a pair of black high heels. She'd done something to her hair, curled the ends, or put something in it to make it bouncier.  
She had put a little bit of makeup on, nothing too dramatic, it was just right.  
She was perfect. Every inch of her.  
"Wow." Edward spluttered. "You look amazing."  
Bella blushed from her chest upwards, her cheeks coloring in an attractive pink.  
"Thank you. You look pretty amazing yourself." She said with a shy smile.  
Edward looked down at his outfit. He was wearing a dark gray henley top, dark blue jeans and brown boots. He wasn't too bothered with what he wore normally, as long as he was comfortable.

"Are you ready now?" Edward asked, looking at his watch.  
Bella rolled her eyes. "It's only my brother and sister, Edward."  
Edward shrugged his shoulders. "So? I don't like to be late."  
Bella picked up a denim jacket and her handbag. "You never have. Come on."

Edward held her hand as they left his house, letting go only once after he closed the car door. He raced around the other side and jumped into the drivers' side. He reached for her hand again as he drove down the street towards town.  
"You okay?" Bella asked, squeezing his hand.  
Edward shrugged. "I like that I can hold your hand in public without worrying about it."  
Bella's face softened. "I like that too."  
"What about you? Are you okay?"  
"A little nervous about someone coming up to me and asking questions I don't really want to answer. It's embarrassing that everyone knows what happened. They all know I had an affair. Half of them have forgotten that Jacob had an affair too."  
"Sweetheart, you have me by your side. No one is going to say anything to you. I promise."  
"I know that most of the gossiping has stopped…" she trailed off.  
"But there is always the chance it will start up again, with us stepping out together, right?" Edward chewed on his lip, understanding now, why Bella was so nervous.  
"Listen to me. We are going to have a great night. We'll have some food, we'll drink some beer, we'll do some dancing and then we'll go home to our bed. Our bed that we don't have to share with two little bed hoggers."  
Bella giggled. "They got that from you."  
Edward made a face at Bella. "That's a lie, and you know it."

They pulled up outside the bar. Before they got out, Edward brought their clasped hands to his lips and kissed the back of her hand. "Hold still. I'll come and open the door."  
"What a gentleman." Bella fluttered her eyelashes dramatically.  
As it was a Saturday evening, the parking lot was reasonably full, with folks coming in for a meal and a few drinks with friends. He glanced around and saw that Emmett's car was parked not far from his and he hoped that his friend had managed to snag a table.  
Edward helped Bella out of the car and held her hand as they walked into the bar. 

"Do you remember the last time we were here together?" He said into her ear, smirking when he saw her shiver with his close proximity.  
"I do."  
"This time, I'll be the only one dancing with you."  
Bella knocked him with her shoulder. "Says who?"  
"Says me." He pulled her into his side and kissed the side of her head, inhaling her scent. Strawberries, freesias and a hint of sea salt.

He scanned the bar for Emmett and nodded his head in a greeting when Emmett stood up from a table at the back of a bar and beckoned them over.  
With his arm firmly around Bella, silently claiming her like a cave man in front of the town, Edward made his way through the tables, smiling and waving at people who greeted him.

"Do you know _everyone_ in town?" Emmett asked crossly as Edward pulled a chair out for Bella.  
Edward winked at Emmett. "Em, I'm the town Doctor. Of course, I know everyone."  
Rose, who was sitting in the corner, wearing a red t-shirt scrunched up her face. "The things you must have seen…"  
Edward grimaced. "Yeah, you know I can't talk about any of that."  
Emmett quickly caught onto what they were meaning. "That's weird, man. How can you go and buy groceries and look at Rob in the face, after he's shown you a weird lump on his dick or something?"  
"The same way I can look you in the face after you showed me that ingrown hair that time."  
Emmett went bright red and picked up the menu quickly, pretending to read the items, even though he always ordered the double hamburger with fries, a side of onion rings and a jug of beer. Edward suspected he'd be checking Emmett's arteries before anything else, sooner rather than later.  
Rose cracked up laughing. "Where was it? Please tell me." She begged.  
Bella crinkled her nose. "Please DON'T tell me. I don't want to know."  
Emmett kicked Edward under the table. "You can't say anything. Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that."  
Edward's mouth twitched with humor.

Alice and Jasper arrived soon after, Alice dressed as if she was about to walk the runway and Jasper wearing old jeans with rips in them and his work t-shirt.  
"Violet says you need to go and get her," Alice said as she made herself comfortable in her chair.  
Bella glanced worriedly at her phone. "She did?"  
Alice lifted one shoulder. "she's fine, Bella. Max wouldn't let her destroy the Legos he was building, so she was in a sulk."  
Bella's shoulders sunk in relief. "She's so violent."  
Edward smirked. "She didn't get it from me."  
"Well, where did she get it from?"  
They all looked towards Emmett who was arm wrestling the man at the table next to them.  
Rose rolled her eyes. "I'm not having children with him. Ever."  
Alice picked up the menu. "I wouldn't count on that."  
Bella snorted. If Alice was betting on it, it would happen.

"Talking about kids, Are you going to have any more?" Rose asked both Bella and Alice.  
Alice frowned and fiddled with the salt and pepper shakers. "We've been trying since Lucy was a toddler. No luck yet."  
Edward opened his mouth to tell her to come in for an appointment, but Alice shook her head at him. "It's okay. I'll come and see you when we're ready to take the next steps. For now, we're just letting nature take its course."  
Bella squeezed her sister's arm in support.  
"And what about you two?" Rose asked Edward and Bella.  
Thinking back to that afternoon, he couldn't help but feel a little excited that there could be a possibility that Bella was already pregnant. The only two times they'd had sex before had resulted in pregnancy. Bella was either extremely fertile, or fate had plans for them.

"Yeah, we'll have more," Edward said finally, as Bella blushed furiously.  
"You will?" Emmett had finished arm wrestling and was waving down the waitress.  
"Sure. I want to be there from the beginning this time." He said, noticing that Bella shifted in her chair uncomfortably.  
Edward put his arm around her and pulled her closer.  
"I'm sorry." She whispered into his side.  
"It's fine, baby. We're moving forward."  
"How many more?"  
Edward shrugged. "Well, as many as she'll give me."  
Bella blushed and buried her head in the menu.

* * *

 **A.N**

 **Sorry for the delay guys, thanks for being so patient while I got over the most terrible flu I have ever had in my life.**

 **This chapter has NOT been beta'd, so any mistakes, spelling, grammar or just crappiness, it's all my fault.**

 **We're on the homestretch now. Only about 8-9 more chapters to go!**

 ***hearts***

 **Sass.**


End file.
